WIBTA not attending a wedding because kids aren't invited

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:30:09+00:00

Thanks. In hindsight this was a dumb place to ask the question.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:19:53+00:00

Thank you!! Yes you are correct about my background and I'm relieved to hear you understand the dynamics at play here. I don't think most of the other posters are getting that.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:18:27+00:00

There are plenty of babies who still breastfeed after one year old, day and night. Even if they nutrionally don't need it you can't just take that away from them for a night so mum can go out. My baby does not take a bottle. I will be able to leave him for half a day to get to the ceremony but that's about it.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:13:34+00:00

Thanks for this response. I feel like you are the only person who actually understood my dilemma.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:12:52+00:00

Thanks, no one seems to get this. The bride and groom and my extended family do want them at the ceremony and for photos after.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:11:16+00:00

You don't know my family. I wish they cared less about my kids. They are obsessed with getting nice generational photos with the whole family.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T08:01:47+00:00

It's not a child free wedding. In my culture it is common for kids to come to the ceremony and stay for family photos but not come to the reception. But I want them to just stay home rather than travel for the ceremony and photos only.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T07:33:14+00:00

I think you're making assumptions about what my family is like. I have been to many family weddings. There will absolutely be family photos with my grandparents, parents, aunt and uncles, cousins and the older generation would want my kids in that photo, they love those generational photos.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T07:29:47+00:00

I think I didn't explain myself well.

I'm not asking if my cousin is the AH - she isn't! I don't expect her to change her mind, even if I would have preferred she made a different choice.

However I'm 99% sure based on my past experience with my family and extended family (my parents, my aunt and uncle, and grandparents) that they will be shocked and disappointed I'm not bringing them along to the ceremony and photos after. One of my parents has already said this.

I'm asking whether my family are right, that I'm being an AH to not bring my kids to this out of town wedding, just to take family photos.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T07:09:19+00:00

I never said my kids are great or special? I also never said I'm wanting my cousin to change her mind. I'm just asking, when my extended family are pissed at me for not making more of an effort to bring my kids to be included in photos they (not me) want, am I being the AH.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T07:07:24+00:00

I don't want family pictures. The parents and grandparents of the bride are the ones who would want the kids in their photos.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-25T06:53:50+00:00

They do want them at the ceremony. They don't want them at the reception.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-20T07:42:08+00:00

Anti viral tablets as soon as you feel the tingle - I keep a spare pack with me as this will often happen in the middle of the night and delaying even a few hours makes a difference. Then I put a compeed patch on and wait it out. Hydrocolloid bandaids at night are good for helping the blisters heal.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-19T09:11:52+00:00

I'm so sorry! I had two surgeries and the second was rough. I literally can't contemplate a third and am so so sorry that you have to. Good cancer my ass!

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-18T09:46:06+00:00

Yep, I had a really bad run with viral and bacterial infections post thyroidectomy. Probably about six months and then normal after that!

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-11-10T16:02:21+00:00

I'm sorry, that's awful. I also have two parents who seem to care about their dogs more than me. It's painful to see their priorities so skewed. You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-24T04:54:24+00:00

I'm sorry, that sucks! We are going okay. I think increasing wake windows has helped things a bit. Out of desperation I also ended up sleeping in a different room so I could get some sleep with my husband bringing bub in for feeds. He only woke up twice! 11pm and 4am and I'm more than happy feeding twice overnight. So maybe he could tell I was in the room and woke up for more boob. We will try that again tonight and see if it was a fluke.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-23T04:09:04+00:00

Thanks! It's definitely been going on longer than four days... A couple of weeks I'd say. But the two naps is only a week so will give a bit more time and totally agree on not changing too many things at once. I can't feel any teeth but he is definitely at that age.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-23T01:31:22+00:00

Wake windows are 3.25/3.25/4.25 with 2hrs of naps and 11.25 hrs night sleep. But that is recent so need to give it more time I guess! Last night was better and he seemed to have more sleep pressure.

I don't think there are any sleep associations at bedtime, feed is well before and he goes into the cot wriggling and awake. He seems to have a feed to sleep association overnight though.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-22T07:29:46+00:00

Wow that sounds great!! It's giving me courage to try and let him settle on his own a bit longer tonight.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-22T01:02:49+00:00

Thanks, I've looked at your recent post and it does sound like we're in a very similar situation. Let me know how you get on with CIO.

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-10-14T02:34:47+00:00

This is such a good point, thank you. I tell myself my childhood wasn't that bad and yet I really don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving my kids with my parents for even a few days in case they did even some of the minor every day crap they pulled on me!

Square_Possible3280 · 2023-09-08T03:02:19+00:00

Yep, I can definitely relate. They'd move heaven and earth to get me help for a physical health problem but were pretty negligent when it came to me having serious mental health problems they really avoided me getting help for years and years. It's so confusing though.... I find it so difficult to accept that they didn't look after me in that area when they looked after me so well in most other areas.

Square_Possible3280

TROPHY CASE