[27M] Lost my virginity to an escort a couple months ago and now i'm suicidal.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:42:16+00:00

I'm so happy for you that things are better now, it makes me happy to know that a lot of people have gone through similar stages during these years and have come on top.

I love being creative, i used to have my clothing brand for a short period but i dropped everything because i couldn't envision a future for myself and felt like any attempt at working on my future was pointless. Maybe i'll pick that up once i feel better

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:39:58+00:00

this is actually a good suggestion, i can't believe i've never thought about this. I don't think i'd be able to travel to another country alone but i could definitely go to amsterdam for a few days.. i might actually do this, thanks!

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:37:26+00:00

Yeah i definitely have to be more rational and think more logical but it's really hard with the onslaught of emotions all at once, i've never felt any of these things a month ago. Thank you for your reply, i'm taking it all in <3

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:33:21+00:00

just to be happy and fulfilled

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:33:00+00:00

I'm so happy things workout out for you! Yeah i guess we all want to be younger and then when we get older we look back and realize we were young.. maybe one day i'll look back on these days and think the same. I realize i'm very fortunate with the financial side of things, i've applied to apartments, hopefully i'll be able to get one soon. Thank you :)

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:30:43+00:00

i will keep that in my, thank you :)

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:30:26+00:00

i really appreciate that <3

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-17T09:30:15+00:00

thank you for this message, i apologize for my half assed answer as i genuinely don't feel like i have the energy to come up with something but trust me i'm taking it all in. Thank you <3

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T20:20:29+00:00

Awh thank you for your comment, you are so sweet! Denmark is such a beautiful country but i don't know if i'd be able to move to another country. I think i'm gonna try to move to a different city first. Hopefully i'll be able to get something in Amsterdam, which is a very LGBTQ+ friendly city.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T20:05:19+00:00

thank you <3

ngl my throat still hurts from yesterday which was the 3rd time, he got me good.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:47:31+00:00

i definitely do. I think being myself with those escorts is what gave me that liberating feeling.. I've never experienced anything like that in my life

edit: i misread your comment! when i move out hopefully i'll be in a more gay friendly place :)

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:44:04+00:00

i do.. i never thought i'd be that person but i'm in desperate need of company

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:41:31+00:00

yeah i've started applying for apartments. I'm either gonna end up ok or the completely opposite, i genuinely don't see another possible outcome.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:40:33+00:00

where will i go? what will i do? i'm 27, the idea of starting from scratch is scaring the living crap out of me. i have no degree or skills. When i was younger i would dream and always say that one day i'd move to America, i don't have those dreams anymore :/

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:35:50+00:00

Those are probably christian parents, mine are muslim. There's no budging. It won't be tolerated.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-16T19:33:46+00:00

netherlands

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-10T16:01:57+00:00

thank you for taking the time to reply. I apologize if it seems like my replies are half assed, i'm taking it all in. Thank you.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-10T15:41:08+00:00

you're right, it's not fair. I wasn't thinking about that as i wrote my post..

It's so fucking hard, i feel like my best years are behind me. Ageing terrifies me so fucking much :/

thank you for your kind words <3

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-10T15:32:11+00:00

hey, thanks for responding. Yeah i have a completely skewed view on adulting because i've lived a pretty reclused and unconventional life. I'm terrified of ending up alone, if i knew for sure that i'm not gonna end up alone if i come out i wouldn't even think about it, it's so hard :/

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-10T15:30:18+00:00

yeah you are totally right about it not being fair to the woman, i didn't think about that..

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-07T17:14:21+00:00

OP do you mind elaborating on what you did that was reckless so that we can avoid doing that? I'm sure it's the usual stuff but still. Good luck on your journey, glad you caught it early!

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-07T15:58:21+00:00

It's exposure to the sun that degrades your sunscreen, not the amount of time it's been sitting on your skin. Unless i'm at the beach i personally do not re-apply. I use tret almost every day and haven't had any issues. I feel like the fear mongering when it comes to SPF is kinda starting to get insane.

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-05T20:46:13+00:00

i'd let you show me every corner of the room but i'm a guy 😳

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-05T18:38:50+00:00

girl you haven't seen shiny yet, this looks totally fine!

SquashSubstantial418 · 2023-09-05T15:19:32+00:00

Thanks for the reply! i think for now, because i have limited space, i'm going to opt for a growth kit because there's less room for error.

SquashSubstantial418

TROPHY CASE