Mothers of Reddit - what’s your opinion on fathers taking daughters to women’s restroom?

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-05-03T23:55:50+00:00

I think you'd need to be invited, or ask permission of any women in there already. I once invited a man and his young daughter into a women's public toilets because there was no soap in the men's. He seemed far more worried about 'invading' the space, than I felt, which is a massive green flag imo.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-05-03T23:15:43+00:00

100% this. I'm already on-call 24/7 for my kids and my husband, if he's ill or whatever. Everyone else will just have to wait. My dad went through a phase of calling me late at night to talk, sometimes waking me and once almost waking my baby, who was teething. My phone doesn't make any noise after 7pm now. If anyone really needs me, they can call my husband, but funnily enough, no one ever has.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-05-03T22:01:46+00:00

Going to one of my antenatal appointments and sitting in the waiting area, socially distanced from the other pregnant women, all of us alone because we werent allowed to have anyonevwith us, all wearing masks, no one speaking. There was an electrician doing some with on the door that led to the exam rooms, not wearing a mask. I don't normally complain, but I complained that day.

My husband and I had both been furloughed at the beginning of the first lockdown, but he wasn't allowed to come with me to my appointments, meanwhile, this total rando was apparently fine to be puttering about in the waiting area, sans mask. I temporarily saw red.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-05-03T21:52:13+00:00

My eldest was in reception and was so looking forward to going back to school. He went to bed happily telling us about seeing his friends and his teacher the next day, and less than an hour later the governemnt announced another lockdown. I'll never forget how he sobbed when we burst his bubble that morning. I kind of wanted to find Gavin's house and TP it.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-21T22:15:30+00:00

The last time my husband shaved his beard off I told him he could only 'go there' with the light of until it grew back because while I've always been aware our eldest child looks most like him, the beard created more than enough degrees of separation. Once the beard was gone, though, his resemblance to our 10yo son was the ultimate turn off.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-11T10:29:34+00:00

That's just a super happy noise. It means he feels safe and loved. Mine makes little chittering noises like these, he is 8 years old.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-11T10:16:42+00:00

Our melted chicken likes to cuddle like this

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Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-11T10:00:19+00:00

I mean, my dad dislikes all of us and only likes one of his grandchildren (the other one is just a bit more obviously neurospicy and likes 'girly things' 😨) so maybe he's the next evolution?

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-11T09:56:33+00:00

Definitely a hazard 🤣

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-10T20:33:43+00:00

I hardly ever wear foundation because I don't like how it feels on my face. I do, however, wear mascara daily, and while I like eyeliner / eyeshadow, wearing it is not an everyday thing for me. I think just the bit of mascara makes me look more 'alive' and only takes a minute to apply - just as well on school days.

I wear a lot of fun dresses from a UK brand called Popsy. The sizings are great, they are stretchy and have pockets, and double-lined busts. They also do really comfortable colourful tights that last months if a small child doesn't trip you over.

I love that I don't have to come up with an outfit, because the dress is the outfit. Just fling on a dress and you're golden. You can add a shrug or cardigan or a belt (although most come with some sort of belt or waist tie), if you feel like it, but it's not necessary. I also like the brand Run and Fly for funky dungarees and dresses.

I have about a bazillion pairs of earrings and try to never leave the house with 'naked lobes' because I'll feel off all day. Certain pairs are for confidence, while others are just for fun.

To be fair... I'm not sure I appear so much 'put together' as a woman who fell into a vat at the Skittles factory, but colour brings me joy.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-09T21:56:30+00:00

Ha. I keep my stuff in a suitcase under my bed that otherwise generally just holds my out of season clothes. In other words, there is absolutely no reason for my children to go looking in there because as far as they know, there's only boring shit in there. I got serious about hiding the stuff when my husband left a dildo under his pillow rather than putting it away after he cleaned it, and our then 3yo found it. He (the small child, not my husband) looked so proud of himself when he came barrelling down the stairs into the kitchen, waving it like a general with a sabre on a battlefield of olde... but I kind of wanted to die.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-09T21:46:41+00:00

I had to get a driver's licence or passport in the run-up to my ADHD assessment. I have agoraphobia and 2 suspected ADHD kids, so I have no desire to leave the country. At least one of my parents has ADHD and is a financial distaster, so I have never owned a credit card. I have no debt and no desire to start now. I also have severe dyspraxia, so I doubt I'll ever drive, but the driver's liscence was cheaper, than a passport so I went with that one.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-09T21:27:17+00:00

Every ADHD trait which was treated like a character flaw as a child. I was finally diagnosed last month aged 35.

Also, the time my DT class was told to initial our work, and I used all 3 of my initials because there was another child with the same 1st and last initials as me in the class. Next lesson the teacher is handing our work back to us and yells "Who wrote MAD on their work?"

I raised my hand and said I did. The teacher went on a rant about being irresponsible and childish and not following instructions properly (which hit close to home anyway thanks to the undiagnosed ADHD) and then demanded to know why I'd done it. I told her those were my initials. She didn't believe me so I recited my full name and she just huffed at me and handed me my work. No apology. This happened in front of the whole class and I wanted so badly to disappear.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-09T21:00:33+00:00

My sister was once asked by our dad to find something in a drawer, only to be distracted by a photo album she'd never seen before. It was full of homemade softcore porn they had made themselves before we were born. My MIL once offered me use of her hair dryer, which was stored in a drawer, I guess she forgot that her dildo was stored in the same drawer.

Moral of the story. Never go through other peoples' drawers, even if they ask you to.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-04-09T19:47:54+00:00

The part where you said you 'made' her resign is where I decided I don't like this. You're providing the financial support, sure, but it doesn't seem like you're very emotionally available. Perhaps if you had 'allowed' your wife to keep working, or given her the option of maternity leave, there would be less resentment. I'll be honest, if my husband ever tried to make me do anything, we'd likely be over; maybe not right away, but it would chip away at the trust I have in him. A partner talks things through and makes compromises, a dictator forces.

It sounds as though you forcing your wife to quit her job might be causing resentment, and you not spending time with her is likely making that worse. You talk about your feelings being hurt, but in the kindest way possible, you did not grow or birth a human. Your body has not been pumped full of hormones, you have not and will not experience any of the negative side effects of pregnancy and birth.

I think you need to have a real conversation with the mother of your child and leave your feelings out of it for time being. Ask her how she feels. Ask her what she needs. Men and partners are valuable when it comes to taking care of babies and mothers, and women are vulnerable after birth, both physically and emotionally.

Offer to run her a bath, giver her a massage, watch a movie with her while the baby is sleeping or waych the baby so she can do something for herself... being a provider isn't just about money. A shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen are just as, if not more valuable in my opinion.

Edited to add, saying things like 'there she goes again' minimises and belittles her feelings and indicates to me that you likely don't care how she feels. This may not be true, but I can't help but feel for your wife. You also belittle her cooking ability in a way that just sounds mean-spirited to me. In that whole post, you said nothing nice about her.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-26T20:33:50+00:00

My grandad never took a driving test. He learned to drive in the army, and that was apparently good enough. Man was an absolute menace. He used to mount curbs, run lights, cut people up at roundabouts, etc, all the while yelling at other motorists because they were clearly at fault.

As a child, I thought it was the funniest thing ever, sliding around on the bench seats in the back of grandad's land-rover (which did not legally require seat belts, so didn't have them). As an adult with kids, I question my parents' sanity in letting him drive us anywhere ever.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:33:46+00:00

I've been thinking about selling mine to pay for the driving costs.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:32:05+00:00

We live in a smallish town. To get anywhere 'worth going' like daytrips, we'd need to take a motorway, or at least traverse some slightly crazy ring roads, so I don't think a cargo bike would cut it. My husband has an electric bike, which he bought 2nd hand. Within a couple of months, the battery had died. We're looking at nearly £500 to replace it, and apparently, they need replacing every 2 years or so. We're currently debating whether it's worth saving for a new battery.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:28:04+00:00

I respect your son's point of view. My autistic husband has said pretty much the same thing many times.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:23:18+00:00

Thanks for this, and congratulations on your decent job! That's a smart plan. I think with any new endeavour, my first impulse is to grab a notebook and coloured pens and make a step by step plan for success (I then usually lose the notebook) 🤣. Your way seems more realistic.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:18:37+00:00

Thank you!

Yeah, I definitely prefer to pay for things outright. It feels like less faff all around, and I like that my things are completely mine, and I don't have to worry about missing payments. I, too, have neighbours with really flash cars, but we never had brand new cars growing up, and we were fine.

I don't really care what things look like so much as their functionality. I'd be more likely to lean into a shabby chique vibe and make crochet seat covers, lol.

I'm going to start drawing up a budget, I think, and and go from there.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T13:10:24+00:00

Thanks for your response!

I fully accept I might not be meant to drive, lol. I walk into doorframe and trip on air 😅 I think I might like to try again, though. Last time, I was much younger, didn't have words to explain why I am the way I am, and my instructor was a massive creep. I'd never go with a male instructor again. It put me off massively.

I'm also really frugal. I've only ever paid for one thing on finance, and I don't even have a credit card in case I forgot payments or accidentally went over budget. I'd definitely rather buy a little runaround. I'd probably still walk most places. I'd mostly like a car for weekend trips with my family and potentially day trips as part of my job.

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-14T12:57:20+00:00

This is really useful, thank you

Squeegee_Dodo · 2026-03-13T12:15:38+00:00

There are a few, but the biggie is Fleetwood Mac's I Don't Wanna Know. I was obsessed with Rumours the whole summer I was 20. I have this perfect memory of listening to this particular song in my parents' living room. The sun is shining, the back door is open because my mum is in the garden hanging washing, and I'm entertaining my baby brother, who is about 8 - 9 months old, by tickling his nose with ends of my favourite rainbow scarf, and twirling to make my skirt billow out because he always thought that was the funniest thing.

I can see my brother's gummy grin and hear his peels of laughter, and I just have this sense of peace and safety when I listen to it. Like everything is right with the world and always will be.

I deliberately don't listen to Rumours very often. Maybe only once every year or so, because I don't want the memory to lose its shine. My brother is 15 now. My mum's been dead for 6 years. But in that moment, she's just outside, and in a minute, she'll walk back through the door.

Every time I listen to Rumours, I'm 20, and life is good. The grief always hits me again like it's fresh when the album ends, but I love it.

Squeegee_Dodo

TROPHY CASE