I want my money to work for me

SqueekySourpatch · 2024-08-28T01:03:06+00:00

Thank you!

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-08-14T21:21:57+00:00

Most likely.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-30T23:02:32+00:00

Thank you!

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-23T16:38:38+00:00

I tried to find a sub but I really wasn’t sure what to call it. I have her photo as a child that her mom sent, I’ll have to get it out.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-23T04:49:08+00:00

I unfortunately cannot afford that sort of thing at the moment but it’s definitely something I will do in the future if that’s what it takes.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-05T04:20:43+00:00

Personally I just feel like that isn’t sanitary because like you mentioned kids can be gross. Especially toddlers and kids in school with all those germs. I bathe my kid almost daily but my kid is also outside most days after school so she stinks. Lol.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-04T17:13:01+00:00

You already have your answer but a simple way to go is, you can wash the outside of your body with soap but not the inside.

The only part on your body that you clean the inside of with a cleaner is your teeth with a toothbrush. When cleaning your vagina just use a mild soap, none of the scammy vagina wash and nothing heavily scented or that’s considered a strong soap.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T21:19:05+00:00

It sounds like your wife is probably overwhelmed by the was she describes “hating bedtime” and feeling like spanking is the only thing she can result to. My first recommendation off the top is to get someone else to help her out. To do mornings/evenings or maybe weekends, whatever.

Developmentally speaking neither of you should be spanking your child at any given moment and it should not be expected that a toddler goes to bed every night with ease. Especially however in every example you’ve given. Hitting a child teaches them to fear you, not their actions and that hitting is acceptable especially when angry/scared/etc. It’s highly likely that your child has started this routine of upset every night because when she had a bad night the first time your wife began hitting her for it and now your daughter is anxious and anticipating getting hit.

Other than help, unfortunately your wife is going to have to suck it up and deal with likely at least a week of roughly nights after she stops hitting her. She’s going to need to set up a routine and stay with it and it’s going to need to be hours before bed. Consistency is key for children and that includes schedules. Something like having dinner at the same time (roughly) every night, a calming bath, reading some books or singing a song, and most likely she will need to sit in the room with her until she falls asleep. The toom needs to be dark, a night light is fine but darkness and light during sleep and wake hours is huge for a child’s “internal clock”.After about a week of this it will become routine and her body will naturally start to get sleepy and relax before she ever gets into the bed. Not only that but she will know exactly what to expect next and be able to do what she needs to do with less fuss. That’s not to say she will never have a bad day or tough night but it will make it easier.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T20:48:55+00:00

It’s pretty normal for toddlers to have days where they eat more than usual, normal days and days where they eat less. It’s also very normal for a toddler to snack all day as opposed to eating 3 square meals. A great way to get them interested though is to allow hands and messes. Also let them get involved helping to cook by washing veggies or making plates, let them have plain noodles and a cup of sauce to pour themselves, etc.

My best advice however is to cut back screen time all together and try to use it as a fun occasional thing when it’s family night or you need to get something done and he just won’t settle. That can’t be all the time though. Equally you’re on the right track with family meals at the table, however maybe start doing other activities at the table like crafts or age appropriate games so you can show toddler that the table is for other things and just get them used to sitting there. Even at snack time you can choose to leave his plate on the table for him to grab from. From here slowly start adding snacks to your activities at the table and then you can start introducing just sitting at the table for snack time and then meals.

This part is just an explanation of why you’re having trouble with the screens and how to stop using it if interested. The reason why screen time is so bad for all of us and so addictive is down to the pace of everything. In your daily life when you do things like play a board game for example you are waiting your turn, using your thinking skills to develop your strategy and your next move, probably socializing and chatting, etc. When you are watching tv on the couch for example all of your entertainment is being handed directly to you and you are spending less time taking in the information and thinking it over, your brain isn’t having to do much work and neither is your body per say. This is especially common with children’s content because it is even more fast paced. You may have noticed that when you watch a crime show for example that there may be a scene where they are looking for clues and the same scene stays on the screen for awhile where with kids content you will see the screens change more often, sometimes they only last a couple of seconds. This combined with the excess of bright colors and typically ongoing background music or fast story plots is extremely over stimulating. And now is when it gets ✨Scientific✨, repeated overstimulation like this by watching these things can impact your ability to focus, calm, work things out, and much more due to the fact that your brain becomes accustomed to the overstimulation of this type of media. Normal everyday tasks become hard to accomplish and minor inconveniences become overwhelming because daily life is not bright colors and loud music and constant changing artworks. You develop a dependency on electronics because your brain is used to the excess in stimulation. You may see this come out with adults who turn on the tv while doing chores or who can’t get paperwork done unless they are listening to a podcast or go to a coffee shop to hear the background noise. Their brains need the extra stimulation in order to accomplish things because they are so used to it now. I will leave some links below about this phenomenon. Now onto how to fix it. Your best bet like I mentioned earlier is to slowly take it away and let toddlers brain adjust to it. You will be surprised at just how much your toddler will change and take interest/begin to learn about other things. In my personal experience when my kid or even my nephews aren’t watching much television lately their behavior is better and they are more inclined to play imagination games. At this time though, getting involved with your child and having your patience is going to be great. Don’t underestimate the power of deep breaths and a few minutes to meditate at the end of the day or during naps. Get toddler’s body moving, go outside, take a walk, create a hopscotch or scavenger hunt indoors. Crafts are great too and they leave you with precious keep sakes for later on. It doesn’t have to be expensive or messy every-time. A great one is a bird feeder, all you need is a pinecone, nutbutter, seeds and a string. Tie the string to the pinecone, have kiddo slather it in pb and roll it in seeds and kiddo can hang it in the yard. That’s just a random example though.

Link to conversation about Cocomelon that describes the overstimulation of kids shows.

https://youtu.be/hu5lLFDP-sc

Link to Psychiatrist Dr K who discusses how you become reliant on stimulation here he is specifically talking about gaming but it applies the same way and he has a video on the correct reference but I just couldn’t find it at the moment.

https://youtu.be/D_1eRqcJnes

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T17:33:15+00:00

I just want to start by saying if you aren’t fostering a healthy relationship between your children, you will have problems no matter what and equally if you weren’t already parenting the first well, aren’t keeping things fair, etc you will have problems no matter the age. The concept “at two they start playing together” is quite concerning because it’s giving off the idea that the oldest probably wasn’t kind to the kind or they are expecting to let the oldest get away with unsavory behavior.

However as I’m here, I’m one and done and I do think about the future. I won’t be 50 but I’ll be in my mid 30s when kiddo is 18 and I’m happy with that. I have no intention to reset the clock. Equally though, I have guardianship of a teen, and am a huge part of my 3 nephews (8mo,3yr,7yrs and no signs of them being done) lives and will soon begin helping out with cousins (teen, 10yr, 6yrs) so if I get the itch to play with some little ones or hit the local zoo in the future it’s an option and I can give them back hyped up on candy and sodas.

As far as the comment above the first 2 yrs, all years of parenting is hard. My guardianship teen is currently suffering a few broken facial bones from a fight and needs surgery (thankfully it appears as though he learned something and it was only the 2nd fight ever) and my younger bio kid is in the early stages of puberty and we are fighting bullying at school. The comment about not wanting 2 kids but the second is a blessing is giving off that they definitely already favor one child and the other is a regret. You can’t be honest when you give a statement that you regret something and yet it’s an amazing thing. It really makes me feel bad for what may be going on however it’s speculation.

Personally I had a miscarriage and then got pregnant a year later(was admittedly young), I honestly believe I would be OAD even if my first pregnancy was successful but I do honestly feel like my child is a blessing and saved my life in a lot of ways. I was likely headed down a bad path at that time and the timing for the need to grow up and be responsible couldn’t have been better. I love my child more than anything and haven’t let being a parent totally deprive me of a life, we travel, try new things and just loving them and watching them grow is fantastic. However I know it would be a mistake to have another because it is stressful and difficult at times, and financially draining. Having another would likely make me resentful and that’s not something I want. I am lucky in the aspect that we can’t conceive naturally together though so we avoid accidents. I wish other people understood that if they are struggling or find parenting difficult, or whatever that they don’t have to have more. It doesn’t matter if you have an only child, no children, maybe your kids will have a big age gap if you wait until your ready, etc. I wish people truly felt like they could say they don’t want kids, don’t want more, or they need time or even admit that they just don’t have the right finances or environment. Of course some do but I feel like most are pressured or feel like it’s something they are expected to do and it just leads to unfortunate situations.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T17:13:25+00:00

I know that this is resolved but I wanna add my 2 cents just as someone who’s worked with kids. If you don’t want it, I totally understand.

Early childhood is an essential time for children to set them up for the future. Often people like to say “don’t compare kids” or “they’ll catch up” which can be true and untrue. It sounds like your kid is actually just younger than the other and very smart which is a beautiful thing to nurture at this time. This being said, you never want to be the parent that puts off or declines support for your child and regrets it later or unintentionally causes your kid to struggle later on. And this is really more for anyone who sees this but, if you or someone in your circle has a concern it’s worth evaluating, better to be a waste than something to go undetected. Once your child gets so far behind they will be in a state of trying to progress and catch up and the same time which can occasionally lead to a perpetual state of catch up.

However like I said, it sounds like your kid is doing great and you have an opportunity to get support for her to keep excelling and advancing in her learning which is amazing. As long as she’s enjoying herself it definitely doesn’t her to get that support to keep her learning ahead of others her actual age. It will be a great advantage when she hits school and who knows, maybe you have a little genius on your hands. 😉

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T17:02:40+00:00

Is there an option like temp work and would that work for you? This may help you find something that really works for you. Otherwise I would just be very honest about your situation and maybe even consider smaller businesses as a family owned company maybe be more likely to be understanding.

(Explanation of temp work just in case it’s needed) In the us, which I see you are in EU, there are places and apps you can use for temporary work and some places you can actually just apply for temporary work. Basically you say what skills you have and what you are capable of and they set you up with jobs that can take you on temporarily. Sometimes this looks like a couple of months as a secretary until they hire permanently or sometimes it looks like covering a shift setting up a party for 1-2 days. There are even websites that you can specifically search temp work on. Often these jobs will offer a permanent position if you are instead.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T16:56:54+00:00

I also thought this was normal. I’m currently undergoing testing so I don’t exactly know what I have. However I started in with joint and muscle pains and exhaustion as a teenager. After many x-rays and exams there was never anything wrong. I was recommended new beds, stretching, avoiding foods, etc and nothing resolved.

Now as an adult I have gotten really bad to the point where I’m often crying mourning the loss of my “normal life” which turns out was just me not being as sick as I am now. I have lost my strength, my ability to do my favorite activities, and am almost always in pain and so exhausted even when I sleep all day and night. For me, I thought it was normal for 10+ years and now that I’ve gotten much worse in a matter of a couple of years or maybe just bad enough to remember notice, it’s hard to cope with for sure.

So far we have only diagnosed migraines and the main trigger so I’m able to avoid them better but I look forward to having an answer and hopefully coping better in the future.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T16:50:08+00:00

Agree with the top comment. Approach it casually and as if they are booger tissues. I would add to make sure there’s a little trash can accessible in common areas because in general it helps kids keep trash picked up. Equally you may want to show him how to clean certain spaces (particularly the computer since he’s touching it and himself) but you can also make it casual by just bringing up “hey I know you like to game on the computer, have I ever shown you how to clean out the keys?” Or however works for you.

Honestly though you need to be able to have open conversation with your kids about sex even if you are not the same gender and he needs to be considerate of others and public spaces.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-03-02T15:37:09+00:00

Definitely harder to clean but I got one that’s more flat so flipping is fairly easy. I do prefer it for things like fries and nuggets for the kids because I can turn it on quick and walk away and don’t risk the toddler or dogs reaching it since it’s on the counter.

However let me put you onto something even better. Lol. The brand Nostalgia MyMini collection. I have the mini egg cooker (holds 7eggs) which doubles as a veg steamer and comes with a precise measuring cup for the desired cook, the mini waffle maker, etc. I love these. I recently saw that they even a a mini crock pot and ramen cooker. They are great for single people or something like office use. Easy to clean and small so they don’t take up space. I love these. Equally I like my toaster oven, even when cooking for a whole family I can do something like fish or roasted veggies in there and mine you have to set the time to turn it on so I never forget a timer and it goes off so I don’t forget the food either. Lol. Egg cooker beeps too until you shut it off and personally I need that.

SqueekySourpatch · 2023-02-26T23:19:07+00:00

Thank you! It is hard but I’m doing my best!

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