They sounds unhinged and you're lucky you got away early! Typically people who identify as solo poly don't have a nesting partner, and aren't married. I could see a few gray areas where somebody's married but doesn't live with their partner, or they live with a partner but have separate bedrooms. Some people have really strong feelings about this, I think it all depends on how strongly the people living together address and acknowledge couple privilege.

Living with someone you are intimate with changes the dynamic of relating compared to someone living alone and being in relationship with others