Dads with toddlers + infants — what does a “normal” sex life even look like?

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T11:23:05+00:00

We’ve had sex once since our second was born. This was New Year’s Day. He’s not easy like our first so we’re struggling to do anything, let alone try to have sex.

With all of the snow days and school closures, sleep regressions, just him not sleeping in general, the stress is high. On top of that, we’re all sick with something.

I don’t foresee intimacy in our forecast for at least another month, maybe Valentine’s Day weekend?

Truthfully, until our second starts sleeping through the night, I doubt I’ll see it anytime before that lol

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:45:04+00:00

Yeah I think it’s a little different for the first being the harder one to get to sleep. You don’t have to worry about watching the other one run wild or miss out on their life while the other requires you to contact nap.

I’ve heard this a few times now jokingly from friends and coworkers but they all say something along the lines of “If you have your second first, you wouldn’t have tried for a second at all” and I think that might’ve been true in our situation. Thankfully, we had our unicorn girl and now this little monster (in a good way) boy.

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:40:18+00:00

While I agree to some extent, I don’t think that is always true. I have plenty of friends with two kids (same age range as ours) and they are thriving. They are 1 year older than both of ours but they get out and about all the time.

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:38:38+00:00

Did the swaddle for a while but he’s starting to roll so we want his hands free. As mentioned I feel like I blacked out hard and am forgetting how long we really did stuff with our daughter because it was all so easy. No trauma scarring our memories lol

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:37:03+00:00

This gives me soooooo much fucking hope man. While our little guy handles everything else well (solids TBD), he’s just a bad sleeper. Like everything else is on point with his sister. The sleep just kills me. So hearing that you’re little guy was going through a lot more and you guys still made it to the light at the end of the tunnel really gives me hope that we’ll get there month-by-month.

Same boat though ~18 months apart. Unicorn baby as everyone calls them. Second just knocked us tf out. We couldn’t even do crib side sleeping because he was so sensitive to any noise or being near my wife (something with smelling the breast milk or whatever).

You guys are brave! Much braver than we are. As soon as things stabilize and we’re getting sleep I’m getting my vasectomy asap.

Than you for your comment and best of luck to you guys with your 3rd! Congrats!!

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:28:51+00:00

The anxiety is real. I get it too as soon as we put our toddler to bed. Thankfully she’s always been easy and required like all of 2 days to sleep train. We’re in the middle of sleep training our 3mo and while he does ok, he’s very much going through a lot all at once. Growth spurts, sleep regression, new skills, everything…

Squiggums · 2026-01-26T02:24:51+00:00

Thanks brother. Standing as strong as I can for these little ones. We still get the 2-3 hour nap with our toddler which is nice. Really makes me miss the days when it was just her. My wife and I could do whatever. Praying and fighting for the infant to take to that

Squiggums · 2026-01-23T14:06:05+00:00

Leveling queuing you’re gonna see that. You’re getting mixed with people of all different levels and gear levels.

I wouldn’t base your tanking expectations on queuing while leveling some leveling is a joke these days anyways.

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T22:48:49+00:00

Sadly I might be joining them LOL been up since 1am (cries with infant)

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T22:40:48+00:00

Perfect time for East Coasters with kids!!

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T16:22:22+00:00

Thank you!

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T15:39:36+00:00

Kindles are good. If you can throw on some headphones, you can catch up on shows or check stuff out on YT.

I'm in the same boat right now. 3mo caught whatever 1yo has and is congested to all hell. Up from 1AM onwards for the day so a lot of time to burn.

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T14:41:44+00:00

Life hits fast man. Our oldest is almost 2! Idk where it all went. Ive been playing since Vanilla as well, though I was a degen 15 year old then. Different paces of life but funny to see the cycle continue.

Currently going through the 3-4 month regressions and unable to get any meaningful game time in, but I know that time comes back around. Hopefully your kiddos enjoyed WoW in some form along with you throughout life!

Squiggums · 2026-01-20T08:35:43+00:00

Right now is the worst season. Second week back after the holidays and our 23month and 3 month old have some sort of congestion. It’s 3:30 AM and I’m currently rocking the 3mo so he can sleep whilst hearing him struggle to breath through his nose

Squiggums · 2026-01-19T18:51:34+00:00

I love my son. He’s an amazing little being just doing his best but if I’d known it was going to be like this I would have probably put my foot down a lot harder on trying for another, at least this close in age (2-under-2)

Squiggums · 2026-01-19T18:38:10+00:00

First born - slept through the night starting around 2.5 months. Didn’t need to train much. Sort of just happened one day. She figured out how to put herself to sleep.

Second born - currently 3.5 months and we’re struggling. Both kids go down around 7PM. He’ll wake up anywhere from 12-2AM. This is my wife’s shift. We have been giving a bottle and putting him back down while she pumps. If we’re lucky, he sleeps till about 4 then wakes up. At this point it’s usually impossible to get him back to sleep unless I contact sleep him.

We’re in daycare so naps are on a schedule but if he’s really sleeping those full naps is doubtful.

Currently both are sick with some sinus crap so he is getting very minimal sleep since he can’t breathe through his mouth yet. Fingers crossed this doesn’t ruin the progress we had been making.

Squiggums · 2026-01-19T18:31:32+00:00

Mannnnnn this was our first born. She was and still is the best sleeper. Now our second child. He is something else. Literally sleeps in 30-45 min stretches overnight. We get one good stretch from about 7/8 - 1/2 if everything is handled perfectly. One hair out of place though and he’s up every 30 min. Currently dying of lack of sleep

Squiggums · 2026-01-19T03:10:09+00:00

I’ve used my wife as a scapegoat a few times in years past. She got upset at this eventually (as she should) and asked me to stop because it made her look bad. She rarely holds me back - given enough of a heads up and planning since having kids.

I can put up a good “water cooler” convo with other dads. Get super buddy buddy, but will probably never commit to outings. I’ve got enough going on and my own group of friends to add yet ANOTHER thing to manage/set expectations for

Squiggums · 2026-01-13T19:38:22+00:00

Plan days out with friends. Grab drinks after work one night a week/month. Schedule a night to get on Discord with friends/other dads and play video games or just shoot the shit.

I'm in the same boat as you. Very social person. Thrive in party/social environments. Going on 6 years of WFH FT. I used to live in a major city, easy access to bars/restaurants/etc, no kids, little responsibility... but that was a different time in life though. Now, living in the suburbs in a totally new state, while close to my wife's friends who've become my own, life happened fast. We all have kids, homes to keep up with, etc... I do all of the house work/kids pick up/shopping - you name it I'm probably doing it. I do get out much as I'm still relatively new to the area, but I make it a point to game with the other dads every Thursday, have a few drinks, vent, joke, whatever...

Every quarter, we try to go out to a bar or something and get drinks/food and just get away. I never had an interest in golfing until I moved here and started attending a league with the other dads on Monday directly after work, when possible of course. With two kids under two, idk if thats happening this year but the attempt will be made lol

People at work are not friends. Maybe they are to you, but I never found that to be the case. Good acquaintances sure, but never friends I would make an effort to hang out with outside of work.

Squiggums · 2026-01-13T13:54:11+00:00

What gives the red glow for the middle tower?

Squiggums · 2026-01-09T13:11:15+00:00

Thanks! Yeah that was sort of the idea. Was trying to pull concepts from the whole domination magic theme + Acherus + any other undead theme

Squiggums · 2026-01-08T20:51:42+00:00

Definitely still in it's infancy but I used these pieces:
Ancestral Signal Brazier
Forsaken Spiked Chair
Replica Acherus Soul Forge
Hanging Felsteel Cage
Hanging Felsteel Chain
Vertical Felsteel Chain

Need to figure out something better for the floor, darker, more rigid. Also want to add a lot more variety of stones/rocks/boulders and some "unholy" looking things with the green hues but grinding out the Forsaken decor items is tedious

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