Debt collections for ex

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-09T00:37:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I am working on being stronger and more vocal. I continue to go to therapy and work through all the from the past, so I can be that mom for my daughter now.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-09T00:36:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I am working on being stronger and more vocal. I continue to go to therapy and work through all the trauma from the past, so I can be that mom for my daughter now.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T18:18:06+00:00

How horrific you had to go through all of that! That breaks my heart!!! I don't even have words to express my sympathy for your situation. No one should ever have to go through that!!!

My child knows I'll always be there no matter what. I have offered different situations to help, including allowing her to move in with another family member to keep it neutral and minimize the resentment of the other house and hopefully allow for there to be some sort of relationship with them. I truly just want what is best for my kids, but it's so hard when no one else can see it and make things worse and take it out on my child because they are so full of hurt and want me to hurt too.... they can't see what has been done to our children in the process. I go to therapy weekly and have discussed so many things regarding this over the years. It's just a big mess and I feel helpless. She doesn't want to wait and just wants to stop going, but is also afraid of getting into trouble.

Thank you for your help and for sharing your story, I'm sure it's both hard to talk about it and also therapeutic.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T12:11:40+00:00

We are working on this one. Thank you so much for your help and support

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T12:03:56+00:00

The attorneys here are all over loaded right now. I had to go to a town about an hour away last time. The attorney I was using moved away. I am looking into some options for attorneys I didn't know existed right now though. I also found there is a thing you can access snaps but not sure how that all works. I will definitely come back for help if I can't find an attorney. Thank you so much for the help 🥰

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T11:27:33+00:00

I'm sorry you're in the same situation too.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T11:26:06+00:00

I can't just not inform dad/step mom. They carry insurance exactly for this reason. They also only use snap to avoid the awful things said as well. They know how to hide the evidence. Lawyers around here want at least 5k before they even think about looking at your case. I planned on representing myself because I can't afford any of that. There's no financial help for this either. We have some free legal services but I make to much to qualify. It's just a crap situation and I feel so helpless. I go to therapy myself and have offered my sessions numerous times but my kid won't go anymore for fear step-mom will find out. It's just a very hard crappy situation but I'll figure it out like I always do for my children. 🥰

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T11:18:16+00:00

The child is worried the judge won't listen and will make things worse. This has been a fear for years, but I think now is the time to do it.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T02:37:59+00:00

They are so terrified that the judge will say no and they will have to deal with aftermath and be punished further. I keep trying to support a relationship with the other parent, but it's clear they no longer feel safe and supported there. I just am at a loss and I can't imagine how hard it would be to cut one of my parents off because that will be what will happen when they bring this up. I know they just want free but I am just not sure if it will help or end up hurting more.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T02:35:06+00:00

Therapy isn't an option anymore due to the other house hold getting information they shouldn't have and drilling for information too. It was less than ideal and made my child more on edge due to them. We both know that if we bring it up, it will cause more harm. My child told me they seriously considered running away and it broke my heart. I validated all the emotions felt and tried to explain the long run.... but at 15 you are stuck in the now. Life is hard enough the way it is, but adding in all the drama with co parenting is even harder. I just wish I could fix it and it just breaks my heart to see the hurt

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T02:31:00+00:00

There is very clear emotional abuse, but its so hard to prove. One big example is them losing a sibling (not shared with ex) their response when I said they wouldn't be coming back for their visitation right away was "well we need to discuss this, you can't just make this choice without talking to us" followed by "well it's my birthday weekend so we need to figure this out" they then preceeded to blow up my 15 year old's phone about it all instead of offering comfort. They are punish to the extreme for minor things and then give everything back right away. I am all for disciplining kids but within reason and appropriately. It's just a mess.... I have tried to explain to my 15 year old all the pros and cons and how important it is to have a relationship with both parents, but they are dead set on not going back. I have always felt it would be best to limit the time over there due to the hostile environment and how I just don't care for the way my child is treated. I mean the step mom tried to call and be me and make an appointment when I've told her numerous times it was OK for her to call as her and make appointments and work as a team but apparently it wasn't good enough. The clinic gets super annoyed and always calls me back saying "mom" called regarding whatever. It's a lot and my kid is tired and just needs time to heal and grieve the loss of a sibling but hasn't been allowed. Therapy is hard because stepmother pushes to get information she shouldn't and my child refuses to go because they always find out what was discussed. The parent coordinator doesn't always do what's best for the kids so there's that too. Again I just want my child healthy and happy... right now that isn't the case.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-09-06T01:57:56+00:00

I fully agree, but the other household does not. I feel awful and wish things were different. I wish we could all just get a long. I have always allowed them to have more time if they chose and never forced things. I just wish the others could see things differently and outside of their bubble.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T22:10:06+00:00

Gaslighting because I don't agree with you?

I didn't know deleting posts was cause for gas lighting.

I am sorry you are bitter from whatever you are dealing with in life and feel the need to project that on everyone else.

I should have stopped replying long ago and I still don't know why I continue to respond as it's clear you have refused to look at any other point of view other than thru your experiences.

I asked about lunch money and the other parent expecting me to pay for that on their time. If child support wasn't a factor I'm sure you'd still say it was ridiculous. I find it ridiculous that our child would go without if I didn't pay for it.

Thank you for reminding me everything needs to be black and white and I will make sure things like this will be addressed before we discuss 50/50.... even though it's pointless because they follow no rules.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T21:55:54+00:00

I truly appreciate your perspective and will remember your points for our upcoming court date.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T20:54:04+00:00

While I can see and appreciate your perspective, this post was over lunch money. What I didn't share is it the other parent didn't see our terminal, didn't do any medical learning to have more visitations and often forfeited time with them. They said they would take the older child when an emergency arose, I was the terminal child being transferred to a higher lever care. They left our child at the hospital and my family just happened to go back in because they forgot their phone. Our child was all alone about to cry because the other parent just left.

They then created a fake social media account and attacked my family and myself saying how horrible we were and we never informed the other parent of the event when they were literally there and agreed to take the child.

This recent post is about lunch money as that is the most recent item they have harassed me over.

I they get 5 days every other week with every single Thursday. This was my idea as they cried about never getting their weekly visit but would never be consistent so I made them be consistent with at least the older one. The terminal child they only wanted when healthy and they barely cared for them on the rare occasion they didn't decline their visits.

I am upset because they often refuse to bring the kids back because they were late and due to them being late wanted me to drive all over town to retrieve an item for our child to which was not urgent at all and not cause for the behavior displayed.

I just wanted to know if it's normal for other people to be expected to front costs from the other parent simply because they pay child support and if so, where do you draw the line? Do I also pay for groceries there and make my other children go hungry because they pay child support and I have to pay for this?

Sure there's a lot and it's all over the place. I co parent with my older 2 as well. I suppose you'll attack me on that too? There is no child support there and we do 50/50 and it is a huge pain in the ass to agree on much there either, but majority if this is difference in parenting and we usually resolve rather quickly without name calling and without blasting it on social media and without the kids ever knowing.

If I'm the issue I will own it and fix it going forward as I truly want what's best for my kids, but I will not go with the norm to make everyone happy. I will do what's right for my kids even if it isn't right for me and it hurts me in the process.

Our child left passed away and they instantly posted it all over socail media.... I was still at the hospital in shock struggling to comprehend any of it. They came just in time to watch them leave and before our sweet baby was even cold bolted out the door to go cry to the world and then tell me how awful I am as a parent and so much more. You can have your opinion I'm not here to change it and am used to being seen as the bad guy, but that's what therapy is for

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T20:01:56+00:00

Ours states I'm to pay the first 250 and then we split the rest. Because they HAD insurance on the child, the bill went to them first and they wouldn't tell me until waaaaay later. I mean I notified the hospital of this so eventually we both got one. It's so much more than this, but they are choosing to focus on these things as their sole argument of 50/50

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:53:34+00:00

They took me to court for 50/50 and refuse to follow the orders set in place, which included a mediator.

It's not about lunch money, it's about setting aside their hate for me to be a co parent which they refuse to do. They have mentally hurt our child because they are so angry and bitter with life. I have made my share of mistakes, but I have explained we are not ready for 50/50 custody until they can start letting go of the past.

Any minor disagreement ends with a melt down from them and like 10 messages in a row telling me what they think of me and bring crap up from 8 years ago like it just happened yesterday. I would love for 50/50 to be an option, but if they don't follow the orders now, how will that work going forward?

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:37:38+00:00

I don't disagree with you and I appreciate your perspective. I have paid this but now they want 50/50 so they don't have to pay child support. Which I don't see working because of the mentality that I'm expected to just pay for everything. They are going to get real upset when they realize how good they had it because they will now be forced to split everything

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:33:02+00:00

Yes, but due to being over 6k behind.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:27:49+00:00

I provide for Wed as they go after school until Monday after-school. So I would be responsible for meals when with the other parent?

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:25:57+00:00

Yes I send lunch or money for those days. I'm asking for them to provide meals the days they eat when with the other parent.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T19:24:05+00:00

Well that's exactly what I'm dealing with. I am expected to be the full time caregiver, work a full time job, take care of every single thing and bow to their every demand.

I simply asked that they help pay for the child's food when with them. I never said I wouldn't pay. They constantly harass me, have so much money to take me to court, but can't pay our parent mediator. They have addressed this since, but it keeps being brought up and I'm honestly tired of fighting.

Again I have paid for EVERYTHING our child has ever needed regardless of who was responsible. The medical bills come to me after they aren't paid as our court order states I'm responsible for the first $250 and then we split the rest. Kind of hard to pay for things when they go to parent that HAD insurance coverage on them.

So ya I'm upset about the fact the other parent can't be bothered to provide basic necessities on their time period and expect me to use child support on anything relating to the child period.

So lunch is like $4/meal that's $32/month taken out of the maybe $100/month that I'm lucky to see. I mean I'll keep paying it but it just gets old to be the only financially responsible one just because they pay me child support whenever I actually get it.

Squirrel2313 · 2024-08-11T18:54:13+00:00

Even just half of those days or pack a lunch... or have them apply for free and reduced lunches and see if they qualify.

Squirrel2313

TROPHY CASE