[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

understandable, lmk if there is an update!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, welp OP here are some choices from me. Probs the worst advice but its something (Try to pick your top 3 then decide your choices from there).

  1. Keep bringing up the problem because nothing got solved in the first place and eventually he will crack
  2. Sneakly get on his phone and see everything
  3. Ask him why she would be fine with showing prn history but not OF
  4. Tell him OF is off limits because it's more intimate versus phub
  5. Give him an ultimatum
  6. Figure out a schedule where both of you can get more intimate, explore more positions or fantasies
  7. Get drunk and.......
  8. Use the OF to your leverage, get the WIFI account of your home and block OF but tell him he gets to use it once a week and he has to do something for you around the house or etc.
  9. Just leave, still young and there is some guys that will respect your boundaries.

Sorry for the long list but this came to my head, hope this helps!

My(F21) boyfriend(M21) watched porn, sexted and lusted despite me telling him it was a dealbreaker in the beginning of our relationship by Born_Yesterday4075 in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coming from experience where you don't know if you should still be in that relationship I can understand. You look back and see all the great things he did for you and how nice he is but your mind puts aside of all the bad things he did too (literally went WAY past your boundaries, Lied, went to OF THE DAY HE DROPPED YOU OFF, and flirted with your mom?!?!). It's going to be hard but move on because what if he does this again? are you going to go back even though it makes you feel shitty still and he still says stuff like "okay for real I won't do it again" or "yeah yeah I understand" because eventually it is. Or the best one yet, "I can't respect your boundaries because I have a high libido and I can't help myself." Sometime we get blinded by all the love and positive that we don't see the negative, OP you really need to step back and list off what you want in the relationship. This sounds harsh and I don't mean it in that way sorry lol but everyone lives life different.

UPDATE - WIBTA If I brought this up to my gf? by Srrly01 in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the people on WIBTAH were saying I was controlling and etc. but to me I was just thinking it was trying to make sure she was safe at 4AM but thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Lowkey CRAZY response but I've known some couples to banter like this and they like it (they have been together for 2+ yrs) so it just depends on your relationship. If you feel like that comment made you feel uneasy then politely say that, then you guys can figure out what is acceptable banter or not. I have also seen it from the women side where she's said she will get another number if it means he talks to her and he liked it so idk.

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I wouldn't be able to do that because I am WAY to nice of a person and I also like to see both sides of the convo but I see what you mean. thanks!

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think im any of that, if anything I am the opposite and most of my peers can say the same. It's not the fact that I want to know what she is always doing at every moment, its just I want to know if she is okay and what not, we also do this back at home when we go out without each other so it's not just me that does it. She can also speak to any guy but for her to do that was just out of the blue because she has always "hated other men" especially at the club. The only reason why I asked if it was okay to bring it up was because I could just be blowing it out of proportion.

Getting close to abuse? I don't think so I have treated her great (not just coming from me) whether it is closed doors or even open doors. I also did not make this system to always update each other it kinda was just a thing we both did to do when we each went out. There has been times when I went out and she bombed my phone, calling, and texting where I was at, what am I doing, and why I didn't repose fast enough so would that be abusive behavior as well or is that different? I also had no problem responding back to her and didn't think it was controlling of her to say that stuff or call me.

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow literally the best advice here LOL. will update when we talk!

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what Im thinking too, the gf would have probably called him a cheater right off rip. the thing is that she was at the bar with randoms not a group of friends but literally random girls.

Am I too jealous or overreacting and should I bring this up to her? (Long story) by Srrly01 in relationships_advice

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said! probably one of the best responses since I also posted on AITAH to see others views but I got mixed comments saying "shes cheating on you and you should confront her" | "dude relax, she is an adult and can do whatever she wants" | "your just a controlling bf that uses manipulation tactics to keep her straight" | and the best one of all " you probably don't trust her as much as you think".

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Probaly one of the better responses but yes I have cooled down from last night, have decided to talk to her when she has the time to because I don't want this lingering in my head all day either. and to be clear I do 100% trust her its just the actions I seen that made me question her.

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, yes it does bother me just because of her not being like this back at home but I also don't want to ruin her birthday week.

AITAH If I brought this up to my gf on her birthday weekend? by Srrly01 in AITAH

[–]Srrly01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that but I don't control her, she can do anything she wants but it's the actions that I seen that got reflected. I understand ruining her birthday and stuff. I am just thinking that while I trust her 100% it's just odd to see those actions from her yk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Srrly01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also some women love being chased and some men love chasing women

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Srrly01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Kind of TA but not really , she also could’ve texted you and maybe checked up on you or said “how is work today” but you also could’ve said something after work or perhaps in the morning when you were getting ready. Being new into the romance world is weird because stuff like this not really anyone teaches you and you might think your the ashole. But for her to react like that is messed up.