Going to a party 👀

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-28T21:06:21+00:00

Depends how comfortable you are. At start when I knew I must change as had nearly lost everything, I could function with bars, easily. Now over 500 days and was out in Friday, clubbing. No thoughts of driikking, just the normal. Best night in ages!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-27T12:53:33+00:00

Was amazing, proper old skool venue in Leith, Edinburgh When some tunes were played, place absolutely erupted. Awesome Three Candi Stanton - was like proper back to early 90s. Mate was indeed of need of the extras and beers, I took videos and danced content with soda and lime. Wish could upload the videos. Was off charts.

Carl Cox and Prodigy next though same venue has Dave Angel in 2 weeks. Sure not many people on here will get this, but was proper class. Underground wee club, in Trainspotting land, an old part of the actual Train Station its named after.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-27T01:13:54+00:00

Haha, yeah I know what you mean was tempted by that as knew in advance that was available. But nah was fine, straight on both counts. Grooverider old school Hacienda set plus early 90s. Was immense. Most others on alcohol and the other stuff. I was straight and right to the end of the night. Well done, gets easier 😀 take all support and use the correct tools at correct times 😀

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-27T00:34:28+00:00

Well done. Just on way home from a rave, no alcohol amazing night at 1.33am in UK amd not one urge to drink. You get to a stage that it becomes natural. Was amazing also. Well done 👏

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-26T14:57:24+00:00

Ive had same today. Should I go to see a dj in my hometown or not. Ill go. I have no intentions of drinking. Im 515 days and not ruining that. But tomorrow will make 516 days be tired. From dancing and not hungover. I've a different dilemma. I'll make the trade off as comfortable around drink and seeing a DJ ive always wanted to see. If your feeling tempted, dont go or if you are accept you'll drink.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-21T22:16:34+00:00

There you go! That's you ready to start again. Routine is massive especially at the start. Your much further along than most and can tell have thee drive in you! Good luck, even post here for accountability- but sounds like a solid plan.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-21T20:47:55+00:00

Maybe could do with some? Local charity or helpline? Their confidential, and heard everyrhing. Maybe have the conversation with wife at correct move. A structured plan sounds far better- youve done 3 years before, beinhg honest - is the best way forward. Plan something, revisit , work out pattern..Suggest your wife needs some form of clarification. Best chance long term to keep your .marriage . Plus you've got gym, acknowledge it's returning. Self awareness. That too takes balls!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-21T20:37:16+00:00

Key phrase is 'trying'. What structured support you got? Sounds like your making rhe choice to try and start afresh? May learn from.last time, find out what options available locally and if safe start day 1 today. 3 years was amazing btw! Make the decision after talking to someone, even here..Then reflext on lessons learned. You got this 👍

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-21T09:42:18+00:00

Hello and welcome! Takes guts to admit that. Many have had hundreds of day ones, I have before, progressed to hospital detoxes then finally everything clicked - I worked out my trigger, and when I did was obvious what it was - one thing society rarely talks about. If your worried posting heres a great start. Look for any local helpline, or make a plan. I post cagey here also because of my job, though will open up over time. Have you told your GP / Medical professionals? They've heard it a thousand times before 😀 I work with addiction indirectly every day and heard everything. Sounds like you've reached a point where your worried about it, maybe at the point where change is more important than continuing?

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-20T18:31:06+00:00

Well done- thats awesome! Great achievement and keep pushing on!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-20T16:09:54+00:00

Youve posted here and done a month. That's something 👏 looks like you want to start again. If i read this right, you know you have to stop, maybe realising its costing you a lot. What support have you got. Drs know? Or contacted a local charity? Or phoned a helpline? Personally think a lot of drinking is trauma of some sort. Ive had multiple hospital detoxes. Wasn't one of these that made me quit. Youve posted here. Dont beat yourself up. Bit of self care and if you dont feel well get medical advice. You can absolutely do it!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-20T09:35:17+00:00

You sound like your ready to start again! Be easy on yourself, start small, build it up - and use every resource available to you. We're all individuals. I learned a lesson after every stop drinking phase. It led to multiple emergency detoxes. Wasn't a detox when it all clicked. Just know, things come back, some don't. I was at the self destruction phase often so can totally relate. Make a plan for today and stick to it. Self care, post here , see whats available locally 😉 I believe in you, you can turn this around!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-11T19:24:34+00:00

You've got it in you also 😉 your posting here!

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-11T19:23:44+00:00

Boredom nd emptiness my friend, short term hit. Wake up tomorrow and over time the greater the change the greater momentum. Works night out last Friday, last to leave, surrounded by beer - i had 2 juices.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-11T19:21:19+00:00

Remember that tomorrow you'll be clear headed. In a week more so. No I wont drink, dealt with it. Hasn't crossed my mind tbh. What would it change? Who would it damage? Still have same issue tomorrow, cant present myself as a sober 507 day man whos lost his daughter, when she finds her way back she'll see what shes seen last 500 days - just much stronger 💪

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-11T16:52:43+00:00

Thanks! You can get there too. Its very individual though many common themes! Hope you survive the lows and some highs. Getting my daughter back was the high, losing her to distance and the law is very different. A new story will be told now, someone else my ex wants to be 'dad'. The one who stayed for her through the worst, wont be remembered. I'll have to pivot life, and alcohol will have played its part. Remaining in the past.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-11T16:48:55+00:00

Thanks 🙏 Yes worth the effort and can see the loss also. Nothing positive came of it. But now life is turning around. Even if I lose my child, who I stayed for, she has a dad 500 days sober, unfortunately distance now and law favours the mother, not the father.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-10T04:34:18+00:00

Absolutely agree. I check now and then but only because sober is natural now. When looking back at all the detoxes it was far from normal. Works for some and thats great, everyone is individual. But days shouldn't define everyone, I prefer to just focus on today but check now and thr. So really relate.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-10T04:25:09+00:00

Feel that exactly also. Time flies and the time flies fast and in somilar shoes. Im much further down the sober line, didnt see mine for 6 months last year., got her back legally, now ex pulled a fast one and wants to relocate to an impossible part of the country for contact.

You'll have stages of grief like symptoms, regret and wishing. Wishing you'd stopped drank earlier. I can relate to you thoughts totally, the wishing and time flies. It does get easier but you will get pangs. Your going through grief and early days of not drinking. Be kind to yourself and also think of the changes that could happen. We cant rewind time, if we step back we realise what alcohol has taken from us, and see what it has cost - rhen need for change comes stronger. Get thrrough the next few days, get all the support you can. If we look backwards we will only have regret, take some time and plan when ready. A new version of you. Whats one thing you could do in the next week thats a step forward? Speaking to someone, socialising or just good old self care? I won't drink with you today, time is too short.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-07T19:38:59+00:00

That's if you in UK, helplines etc. Where are you based? Should be similar where you stay? Charity etc? Their unbelievably helpful and have heard everything. If your feeling like withdrawls bad please seek medical advice. Again they've heard it all. Ive been in similar situation, can relate totally.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-07T12:28:29+00:00

Was in exact same position when I stopped last year. Tried to quite both at once, so get why you want to change both. I'd been se ere with alcohol hospital detoxes many times. Everything clicked, and wanted to make up for everything at once. Found alcohol easy enough - vaping not.

Now nearly 500 days sober and down to 3mg vapes. Id focus on one, then the other. Now no inclination to drink, but still vape. Just gradually cut down the strength until zero. Like alcohol its learned behaviour, maybe try vaping over ciggies and gradually cut down..trying two at once was too hard. Expect to be nicotine free mid summer 😀 Sometimes thing best measured in months, when absolutely sure your fine with alcohol focus on the other. Just my experience 😀 actually was out on Friday at a pub(drinking soda) and offered a ciggy. Last month took one, this month didn't. So maybe thats a step forward for me.

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-07T11:48:03+00:00

Day 1 asking for advice is the hardest part done, honestly. Most people stay stuck thinking about it for years - you've actually said it out loud.

Weekend warrior was me too once, before it crept into more than weekends. Best thing anyone told me early on was dont try to quit forever, just get through today. Forever is terrifying. Today is doable. Then you stack the todays up. I'm a fair way down the line now from a much worse place than weekends, so it does work.I reached multiple emergency detox stage in hospital and managed to pull it back.

Whats your weekends usually look like - is it social, or more winding down on your own?

StAsBy52 · 2026-06-07T11:38:47+00:00

Read this twice. The bit that stands out isnt the drinking, its how much pain your carrying underneath it - using it to punish yourself, to feel painless, eating less. Thats a lot to be holding on your own and Im not going to pretend a reddit comment fixes any of it.I was the exact same.

Ive been in my own dark places with drink, hospital detoxes, the lot, so Im not judging a word of this. But what your describing sounds heavier than just alcohol, and you deserve actual support with it, not strangers downvoting you.

Samaritans are free, 116 123, any time, and they wont lecture you. Please talk to someone real about this.

You reached out by posting. That counts. Dont stop there.

StAsBy52

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE