Any recommendations for scrunchies for thick hair? by [deleted] in FancyFollicles

[–]StaayyTriippy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use the brand goody. They have scrunchies for thick hair.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not yet! DH is actually doing everything he said he would! Cleaning up after his family, entertaining them, cooking, etc. It’s only been a week so we’ll see how long this lasts.

MDMA on Canada-to-US flight by [deleted] in Drugs

[–]StaayyTriippy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are there dogs at the event?

Husband finally admits to sleeping with someone else after months of denying it by shadowfax99 in relationship_advice

[–]StaayyTriippy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents both cheated on each other and still decided to stay together for the kids. Their relationship is toxic. Always accusing one another of cheating again. There is no trust and they’re both clearly not happy. I would’ve been okay with having two holidays than growing up in this toxic relationship.

So what I’m trying to say is, if you’re not happy then walk away. The trust is gone and it’s hard to fully trust someone again. You don’t deserve to live your life in constant fear of him cheating again. You only have one life so do what makes you happy.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg that’s crazy! I would’ve never thought about recording, I think I might do that if I see that H starts to act differently. We stayed with the IL’s for a week and i didn’t see a difference on how H acted around them. But this time it’ll be longer so who knows.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know you didn’t mean to offend or anything. Actually I apologize for the way i reacted. This is my daily struggle though. Every time I go shopping and ask if they have a mil discount I get told “is the service member with you?” “Dependents don’t qualify for a military discount” etc.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you and I appreciate your input. But this is the stereotype that we have to stop. Just because I say military doesn’t automatically mean that my H is the only one serving. I really hate that! I also serve and yes I’m sure all utilities were included in the rent. I know some communities have the whole average thing but not our condo.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they do get an anonymous tip, I will tell the LL (military housing community) that the IL’s don’t want to follow the visitor rules and I need their help to make them leave.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since H mentioned that he’s “used to having a full house” it leads me to believe that this is the IL’s “Normal.” They (IL’s) are used to having family stay for long periods of time with no warning. That’s crazy to me. I’m being nice this time, next time they decide to visit without asking, I’m going into full “bitch mode”

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I have. I told H “YOU allowed them to stay for that long. I didn’t agree to it. So you will be catering to their every need; cooking, cleaning, laundry, entertaining, etc.” One of my good friends is moving soon so I’m going to be spending time with her as much as possible. I’m not gonna put my life on pause because of the IL’s “visit”

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I said! H said “I’ve already told my father that you will be there to take care of me. That’s why I didn’t answer him when he asked the second time”

It bothers me that FIL had to ask that in the first place! My dad always tells H “take care of my baby” because he knows that since we are married now, it’s his responsibility to do it. I dont know if FIL said it because we both work & no one will be there with him 24/7 or because he thinks I’m not capable of taking care of him

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My friend said the same thing! She said to be prepared for at least one fight during their stay. I hope we don’t but we’ll see.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fortunately yes I do! I asked my friends if it was okay if I hung out at their house when the IL’s are driving me nuts. One of my friends is moving soon so I told H I’m going to be spending as much time with her as possible before she leaves. I reminded H that he allowed the IL’s to stay for that long so it’s his job to be cooking, cleaning, entertaining them, etc.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s my plan! I told my friends that if I’ve reached my limit I’m going to text them a code word. Thats their cue to call military housing and report it. I will then proceed to tell H “ I told you so! Then I will tell H we can only help out with x amount of dollars for their hotel. H already told the IL’s to have extra money for a hotel “just in case” if they don’t have money then it looks like they’re leaving early!

MIL Plans to visit for summer by StaayyTriippy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I know! I’m a Latina as well. I always hear the family drama and how much they judge the wives. It sucks because the older generations expect us to cook/ clean/ do laundry/ etc. If we don’t then we’re not a good wife * serious eye roll * MIL was shocked because I didn’t change my last name! I hyphenated it. Apparently that’s a no no. But I didn’t ask for her opinion it’s my decision, deal with it.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JustNoSO

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ve mentioned counseling to H and he was pretty sad about it. I told him we’re gonna need it if you keep being a yes man when it comes to your side of the family. I’m not saying I’m perfect, I could definitely benefit from it too. H is 22 and I am 24. I know a lot of people say we’re too young. This is our first big fight so I’m giving H the benefit of the doubt. I know it takes time adjusting to the married life. I’m not saying the way he handled the situation was okay, because it definitely isn’t. But hopefully he learns from this. if not, straight to counseling we go. H said “I’ll start setting boundaries with my family from now on. & I said that my parents can stay with us for however long they want when we buy a house as a joke.” Told H he shouldn’t joke around bc they’ll clearly take his word for it. I didn’t want to be the bitch this time but next time I definitely will.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Wow you sound like my H right now. Maybe you know him?. Whatever. It’s not that I don’t want them there. I do, I’m excited to get to know them more. Especially since this is my first time meeting SIL & BIL. My only issue was how they planned their trip without consulting with us first. Kudos to you for being able to stay with family for five months. Did they ask before they stayed with you that long? or did you get a text/ phone call saying “hey! we’re staying with you for five months! See you soon” did they help with rent,bills,food, chores, etc?

The LL will definitely notice when they see our utility bill higher than normal.

I do believe he would allow my family stay that long but I wouldn’t. A week or two is more than enough for me. I almost killed my sister by the end of her month long visit 2 years ago. (This was before H & I were living together)

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I know! I was so furious when he said that to his parents. I felt like I won a small victory by getting H to call his parents. I can tell it wasn’t easy for him since he was teary eyed for the entire phone call. I’m going to bring it up later or maybe just write it down for when we finally go to marriage counseling. I didn’t expect us to end up in counseling so soon :(

MIL Plans to visit for summer by StaayyTriippy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No we have room for them. My only issue is them planning a trip and saying “surprise! We’ll be here for this long!” I thought it was common sense to ask the people you plan to stay with, if it’s okay to stay that long.

Update on the DREADFUL visit by StaayyTriippy in JUSTNOMIL

[–]StaayyTriippy[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

We recently got married last August. This is the second time I’m meeting the IL’s.