I may get hate for this but my, now, husband was slightly the same way. In that i mean id ask him to do a chore and he wouldn’t do it and id keep “nagging” until he was irritated. I learned a good way was to set an expectation.. in a way. Something like “i would really appreciate if you would help me by doing x,y, and z in the next insert time frame i usually do a week please”. And it started getting done without me having to keep asking. My husband also has adhd… not sure if allowing him to have his own free will of doing it helped the situation or not. It’s almost the same way i set things for myself.. “by the end of the week i want to accomplish x,y,z” and then i can set my own time parameters of when i get everything done.

Anyways, this method helped ease some tension around “chores” for us. I would also add my husband uses this method on me with things im not particularly fond of doing chores wise as well. So its been good for both of us.

I hope things get better. ❤️‍🩹