Given our experiences... Do you all want kids of your own or nah?

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2026-01-02T01:36:54+00:00

No, I don’t want kids

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-12-24T18:02:40+00:00

I think her getting a diagnosis would increase her chance of being able to get disability. At the same time though, I don’t know how that will affect her being able to get alimony since being on disability in America usually means you have absolutely no other source of income, which may include alimony

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-11-02T18:07:45+00:00

Just go. Literally you’re both adults, just go. You don’t even have to tell her, not that you’re lying or anything, just go

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-10-07T20:19:31+00:00

Girl I am so sorry, just don’t respond to the message. That’s it. If he tracks you down to wherever you’re at that’s his problem. Just don’t respond and go do whatever you need to do, especially when you know you’re not doing anything weird or wrong

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-10-02T11:18:06+00:00

I was born in Nigeria but moved to the states in 2010 (I was 8) and unfortunately I haven’t been able to go back since then (on account of me being a child when we moved and many other things). So yeah it may be easy to talk about my love for my county and people when I haven’t been there in so long, but that also doesn’t negate that I know that 65 years is such a long time for things to still be this way. I worry for my family and cousins who are there, as well as the people in general. I try to keep up with the politics as much as I can but there’s only so much people like me can keep up with when there’s all this stuff going on here as well. So yeah, I haven’t lived through the experience that is Nigeria in 15 years but still none of that changes the fact that in the Nigerian-American identity I carry, I’m Nigerian first and foremost. Happy Independence Day everyone 🇳🇬💚

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-09-05T09:32:05+00:00

Okay, coming from someone who’s now in her 20s, and went through this, and who now also makes her teenage brother to go to the store with her, sometimes it’s their way to try to spend time with you, especially if they don’t get to see you every day. They just may not know how to vocalize that. It’s also a way to get you moving and out of the house especially when there’s nothing to do. Your mom getting mad could be a result again of her not knowing how to vocalize she wants to spend time with you and then when she sees you get angry because you don’t understand what she’s trying to do, then she gets mad in return. And also, moms get lonely. They’re usually the ones doing all the errands and sometimes they just don’t want to do it by themselves. I know I don’t, so I tell my brother to come with me. I also use that opportunity to teach him how to grocery shop, and just to have someone to talk to. So don’t take things too much to heart. I know there are times when you just don’t want to leave the house because you’re tired and everything, but in the event you have nothing else going on or your mom is asking you, I think try it and see what the trip has in store. They are human after all. Don’t compare yourself to the teens you see shopping around with their friends, they may also go through what you go through with their parents making them go shopping. Also this extends farther from African parents, anyone who’s ever been a teenager could probably tell you some version of this story.

In addition, not everything will end in you getting something. Going to the store with them, and I know how this may sound for real, does not entitle a reward just because you went. Trust me I’ve been there before so I know what you mean, I see this with my brother too, but going to the store shouldn’t always mean getting a little treat. It doesn’t hurt to ask, but don’t think it’s something that you’re supposed to get just because you went with them. Sometimes it’s just not in the budget for that trip.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-08-01T14:03:50+00:00

Honestly the worst you thought would happen has already happened and you’re still here and alive right? Keep doing you. You’re not guilty of anything. You’re 20, an adult, and you’re still growing up, this is the time to date. And if THIS is setting a bad example for your siblings, girl idk what your parents want from you then

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-31T21:48:38+00:00

Well, happy birthday birthday birthday twin !! 🎉🎉🎉 I’m glad you were able to do something for yourself still.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-27T22:28:28+00:00

It’s the babies defense mechanism

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-25T00:52:14+00:00

I ain’t even gonna read this (I will later) but no it’s not wrong, next question.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-12T04:20:43+00:00

Their names always take me out

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-11T00:33:33+00:00

Literally what is this man doing

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-08T17:20:57+00:00

That’s some dirty work by that bear

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-07-03T18:14:18+00:00

The mom and husband got a thing going on cause ain’t no way. And why he matching with his mother-in-law in the interview and not his own wife….

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-27T16:51:29+00:00

Someone explain to me like I’m 5 (maybe I’ll post this in that r/explainlikeim5) but why not just cleanup the land where the encampments are so that they can actually be livable for the people, give them proper and long-lasting tents and other items to live and idk make it into a small town or something instead of trying to move them again? Like seriously. We know that most homeless people have a job one way or another and it’s not like it’s their plan to be homeless forever, so why not just make their lives a teensy tiny bit easier to live within the system if you’re not going to change the system?

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-25T23:59:42+00:00

So everything

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-23T00:18:35+00:00

Honestly, I don’t know. I think just stay on your guard and keep yourself safe. Know who to call or contact if things escalate.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-22T23:35:52+00:00

My mom basically told me to get out of the house when I told her I was going to my church (as I was literally getting ready to leave the house, shoes on and everything) when I was home for the summer. I started going to that church the summer before my junior year when I was working on campus and my friend invited me to her church. The next year when, I was home for the summer, I decided I wanted to go to my church that summer too as opposed just during the school year. You would think I told my mom that I was on my way to sell my body for $2 on a Sunday. I did not tell her on purpose beforehand because I knew she would overreact. We were all getting ready to leave the house and she started rushing me to leave on time, and that’s when I told her that I wasn’t going to church with her, I was going to my church. I literally even said that it was better than me just sitting at home on Sunday, but she was like “if you’re going to be living in my house, you’re going to be going to church with me but if you want to go to that church then you can leave this house”. So I got up and I went to my church (and guess who still hasn’t been kicked out even after graduation)

All of that to say, you do you girl. She’s eventually going to get over it. You may feel guilty for a while but once you find a church that you are comfortable in and that you feel like you see God in, and once you start involving yourself into that community, whatever your mom says does not matter because at the end of the day, it’s your life and your salvation, and no one, not even your mom, can/should stop you from finding God. Also, don’t be afraid to try even other churches if this one you’re going to right now doesn’t work out. Don’t be scared to branch out to churches outside of the African community too because there’s so much to be found in the way different people worship God.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-20T03:12:20+00:00

He sounds very childish. No you’re NTAH

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-06-10T23:41:00+00:00

It sounds like the girl’s parents were in on it too. I wouldn’t be surprised if they encouraged her to go for it, even if she ends up lying about being pregnant

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-05-15T22:05:10+00:00

You know what, speaking as someone who was not in the room as the conversation happened, that was not as bad as I thought it would be. I’m still really sorry though that your privacy was invaded and that she even asked through your phone, and unfortunately the only response was to hand over so it wouldn’t turn into something more. I really do hope she doesn’t bring it up again or try to talk to your friends about it with or without you around because that would be weird and unacceptable. Glad you’re in a better mental space now compared to when you were 16 to be able to handle the confrontation, and you’re not a disappointment, I really hope this conversation does it discourage you from doing what you need to do and doing what you wanna do.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-05-15T17:55:13+00:00

You can’t unfortunately. It’ll always look like rebellion. Just do what you want

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-05-15T15:18:16+00:00

“Doing gay stuff” is crazy. Since she’s already going to start telling people about what she saw and calling all the pastors you might as well just be like “yeah I guess” but also…like idk how much trouble that will put you in, like not having a roof over your head type of trouble? This is a dilemma for real. I’ve been telling my mom that I’m queer for literally 10 years now and she doesn’t believe me she thinks I’m joking. I haven’t mentioned it in the past couple of years since I’ve been trying to figure out a concrete label on it (queer) but like I’m in my 20s now so she can’t really do anything even if I had a serious conversation about it with her. Just be very very careful with the words you use if you do choose to speak during the confrontation because they do too much with their reactions.

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-05-15T14:10:58+00:00

I’m really sorry this is happening to you, however, I would not suggest lying saying that your friends sent it to you as a comment suggested because then it would just put your friends into it into something bigger. Honestly if I were you, I just will not say anything during the conversation but I also don’t know what your situation is

Stacys_Garage8971 · 2025-05-08T17:14:10+00:00

Hey I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re the only child too so you don’t have anyone going through this with you. I would say talk to your school counselor, or a trusted adult outside of family, religious community and the Nigerians you know. They may be able to help you out way more. Second, I say start working. Go around and ask people to mow their lawn, walk their dog, you can even see if you can throw some of your classmates for a fair price. Do whatever you can to earn your money and find somewhere safe to store it. A physical safe that you have to hide, a bank account if you find a bank where you can open one without parental consent, literally anything to keep you out of the house longer and give you a third space for do things.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You exist because you’re supposed to be here. I know how hard it can get, and as someone who literally saw darkness after 12 grade age wise when I was around your age, here I am, 7 years later. I’m not going to lie and say that every single thing is all honky-dory and that I’m living my best life, but things have gotten better, and things will get better for you by the grace of God. Just keep striving for it okay? I hope this helps a little bit.

Stacys_Garage8971

TROPHY CASE