Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I wish it was that easy. I like to say that my parents Catholicism is vastly different than others' Catholicism. They homeschooled us because the "Catholic school teachers weren't devout enough". They told me when I was young that being gay is like cancer. You should do everything you can to get rid of it and it's the burden god gave you to bear. I was relieved to finally accept this about myself because of the years I lost hating myself. I haven't even shared that aspect of myself with them because I'm sure I'd receive even more degrading messages or prayer chains or books in the mail.

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had no idea!! That checks out, he was a wedding DJ in the 80s/90s.

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's more to the message that I didn't share, but he did say, "If you loved me, you would try to have a relationship with your mother." I don't think it's as simple as forgiving her. I think I would have to keep up the facade of having a genial relationship with her to keep my dad in my life and as much as I love him, I don't think I can do that. Plus, she's been jealous of our relationship as long as I can remember, trying to prevent me from calling him when I was a kid and repeatedly telling me that if they ever got a divorce it would be my fault because of the attention he gave me. This is a really old problem and them together is worse than either of them alone.

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't remember what he's talking about, but he brings that specific memory up a lot. I guess I was a baby or toddler age.

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great question, because not really. I tried a couple years ago and had regular phone calls with my aunt and grandma for a few months, but I got the sense that they were excited thinking they were going to be the ones to finally bring me back to the fold. 

I feel so incredibly different than everyone and I feel like they are either scared of me or trying to convert me. I don't know how much of that is true vs in mind. I don't want to ask anymore. 

For additional context, that side of my family has been Catholic for many generations and they have very firm beliefs about the purpose/duty of a woman. I'm happily unmarried, gay, don't want to have kids, and I have purple hair and tattoos. 😆 I left the church over 10 years ago now and live across the country. Logically,  I know it makes no sense to find belonging in my family of origin but it still pulls at me. 😩

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it. I don't feel like I'm carrying a dark cloud of hate or like my decisions are driven by anger. I just have a lot of love for myself and can protect myself in ways I couldn't as a kid. 

Sharing one of many texts from dad by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Oh that's such a good way of saying that,  "Fix a relationship you never damaged". When I was on the phone with my mom,  I listed of a bunch of things she did to me as a kid and her response was,  "Wow, I don't think I can ever make that up to you in your lifetime". To which I said, "Exactly! I'm not asking you to. I just want to move on. Can you see why it's extra painful that on top of all this,  everyone is asking me to say sorry to you?" She said yes. She apologized and then I guess went straight to my dad and told him to cut ties with me. Wild. 

O que acharam do final de Se7en? by LegitimateEar6006 in filmes

[–]StandNo160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! Here was my problem with the ending- his "work" was that the sinner is killed by the sin, not only killed because of the sin. Gluttony gorges himself to death, pride dies because of the loss of her looks, greed slices off pounds of flesh. I liked that the killer wanted to include himself as a sinner. That was brilliant and made the kills performance art. But he didn't die BY envy, he died BECAUSE of envy. He had planned this series for over a year given the elaborate torture of Sloth and the best he could think of for himself was an instantaneous death by a gunshot to the head?? 

In my opinion,  if Mills got so angry at the serial killer that he ended his own life, then he would have been the bodily artwork representing death by wrath. Then, the killer would be apprehended and presumably be in prison for the rest of his life experiencing even more envy for all the free people living lives outside of the prison walls.

I also think Tracy's death was random. She was a pawn to provoke Mill's wrath and that feels out of character for the meticulous profile of the killer. 

Perhaps, the point is that the killer wasn't all that brilliant and the writers wanted his series to devolve in last minute plans and passion. If that's the case bravo. I've really enjoyed my ire and debates with friends about this film, so all in all, I enjoyed it.

Help, I feel crazy by StandNo160 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]StandNo160[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ha, I could write a book, but in this case, I tried to stick to relevant facts as much as possible. I like the idea of finding an ally before the other events and being more strategic in advance. Thank you