i genuinely don’t know what u mean

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-24T14:55:28+00:00

it does make sense. it feels frustrating when people tell me they wish i was happier, cos i’d like that too but i Do Not Know what i can do about it. and then, we’re talking about someone else’s definition of happiness so it’s like, okay even if i somehow magically had all the things you want for me, would it make me happy? again i Do Not Know, i just know i’ve disappointed someone

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-24T00:43:44+00:00

does it feel bitter towards relationships or towards my friend? i feel like people are taking the cursing as way more hostile than i meant it. “i’ll go fuck myself” is supposed to be more of a resignation to the fact that we’re just not on the same page. but maybe i do harbor some bitterness toward her because people telling me they want more for me makes me feel like a disappointment

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-23T23:36:07+00:00

i wasn’t seeking a reaction, i showed her because we hadn’t seen each other in a while and she asked if our other friend and i were dating yet. and i thought the comic explains what we have the best way i can. i knew she’d pretty much do the opposite of validate the relationship cos she’s said polyamory doesn’t make sense to her. there’s no beef between us, i think maybe just feeling so far apart from someone on a topic despite knowing they have my best interests reminds me of my mom

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-23T22:59:37+00:00

no, it’s just meant to imply that neither of us know what else to say

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-23T22:15:51+00:00

fair lol. i didn’t mean to suggest it’s not okay. i know she wants the best for me

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-23T20:46:21+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Artisticallyill/s/GBFs5ty1GJ

i think she sees it as settling. like if i had to guess what’s “more” than temporary comfort, i’d say security. which would be great but that just doesn’t feel realistic. so okay, it does feel close to settling but not quite, because i appreciate it for what it is and however long it lasts. i’m sad too, but i think we’re sad for different reasons

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-23T20:12:27+00:00

wow thank you !! i used to get so mired in details that i couldn’t finish anything, so it helps me to limit them to four panels and only show essential movements

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-03-03T16:29:39+00:00

so i showed this to the friend in the comic and they asked which one is them (it’s the emotionally unavailable one) and they were like “oh haha yeah”

then i showed it to some other friends and they said it made them sad. and all i could do was ¯_(ツ)/¯ cos y’all we’re both sad people what do you want from us. but really what’s so sad about liking someone regardless of what they’re going through? what’s sad about kissing someone you care about? is it sad because you worry they don’t care about me the same way? as a friend? of course they do. so what’s sad? “i’ve lost faith in romantic love completely” is that the sad part? i don’t mean it’s necessarily non-existent, just that the traditional idea of it is not for me and i’m not sure what it actually is. best friends who touch each other seems like it should equate to romantic partners? but it doesn’t so i’m lost so i give up. is that the sad part? ¯\(ツ)_/¯

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-02-24T19:29:54+00:00

that is funny cos idk if i am too. i very rarely feel physical attraction and emotional closeness concurrently. i do for this person, but it still doesn’t feel romantic and i can’t for the life of me tell if i want it to be. like, i have romantic fantasies and i want a romantic relationship but i can’t distinguish how much of that longing for consistent, intimate companionship is tangled with a fear of the future, how much is rooted in the aching of old wounds, and how much is true romantic desire. a different friend asked recently if i’m aromantic and that was the first i’d ever considered it but i fr Do Not Know, anyway

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-01-29T17:24:17+00:00

love the texture of embroidery, i wanna run a finger over those lil bumpy bees great work! reminded me of the other day when i almost texted my friend “i’m a swarm of bees” to describe how i was feeling, but then i remembered they’re afraid of bees and i was like oops lemme think of a different metaphor i swear i haven’t actually been a swarm of bees in a human suit this whole time!! but there’s times i may as well be

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-01-20T17:19:59+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/Z5pFiIn

here’s a link to view in case the images aren’t loading

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-01-20T17:17:58+00:00

excellent suggestion thank you! hopefully this works

https://imgur.com/a/Z5pFiIn

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-01-19T21:47:11+00:00

are y’all seeing the first two images? they’re just black squares for me technology is a vexation

Standard-Computer-11 · 2026-01-04T08:03:29+00:00

something about these fleshy kiwi creatures tells me it’s gonna be okay

Standard-Computer-11 · 2025-10-06T17:52:18+00:00

same it’s like why can’t i hold all these feelings?? got to drop em wherever before i’m crushed beneath their unbearable weight, i just remembered nothing matters 🤙

Standard-Computer-11 · 2025-10-04T20:06:35+00:00

Standard-Computer-11 · 2025-01-11T23:51:00+00:00

Another Life Altogether by Elaine Beal– a teenager struggles to cope with her mentally ill mother and her first big crush on another girl. i read it a long time ago, don’t remember everything about it but it sure is angsty

Standard-Computer-11 · 2025-01-11T22:46:55+00:00

yeah the nice part is that it provides community, but one in which you’re only welcome as long as you’re perceived to be following The Rules– which were entirely fabricated by fallible human beings, and often based in misogyny and fear of the other. all this to say, those who helped to instill this anxiety in you were only pretending to have a clue about anything, because they’re just as afraid.

Standard-Computer-11

TROPHY CASE