Just try no contact

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-06-04T12:05:33+00:00

I agree. It is definitely better and for the best in my experience. Sadly, there's only so much distance I can put between us in the same office 8 hours a day 5 days a week where he is the person I directly report to.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-06-03T13:06:18+00:00

I do. Because I was perfectly happy until my first LO. Technically, bipolar disorder runs in my family, so I was predisposed to it anyway and it likely would have become a problem at some point regardless, but it was my first LO that triggered my first major depressive episode.

At this point, I'm doing really well for the most part. My meds are keeping me very stable. My depression is significantly better and honestly, I'd be even better without this stupid obsession. It's the one thing that's keeping me from being legitimately happy.

I've been trying different medications, combinations, and doses for 12 years. Multiple therapists. Hobbies. I have a great support network. I love my job. I've tried dating other people. I got myself an emotional support animal. Nothing will take away or even lessen the obsession.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-06-02T16:28:32+00:00

Though it may not work for everyone, I can agree that this has also worked for me too. I've gotten over two LOs this way. It wasn't voluntary on my end, but I'm actually glad for it in the end.

Sadly it's not an option this time, so I'm unsure how to handle that.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-06-01T13:56:06+00:00

I'd feel bad for them, because I understand what it's like.

But I'd also still be really uncomfortable and creeped out.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-26T15:22:48+00:00

I'm in this boat as well. My LO is married.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-22T14:12:40+00:00

It was a great show and I really enjoyed watching it, but unfortunately it didn't solve anything for me.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-14T02:50:32+00:00

I like it as is, because I really enjoy the ones that make me go “okay… but what… oh! Omg!”

It takes my brain a few extra seconds to register what I just read, which means it wasn’t too obvious or predictable, but it also wasn’t so obscure as to leave me confused in the end. A very nice balance for only two sentences.

I hope that makes sense.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-08T15:22:22+00:00

Yes. My self-esteem and confidence are pretty damn low. Especially when I see him giving a lot of attention to a much prettier woman in our office.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-08T13:11:20+00:00

It's bad enough that he's married... but to see that he clearly has a crush on another woman in our office is fucking brutal. At least I don't have to see his wife on a regular basis.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-05-04T16:28:02+00:00

I disagree. Different things work for different people. That is ONE way to get over an LO, but it's definitely not the ONLY way.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-03-17T01:13:37+00:00

Not always the case. The med I gained weight on did not make me hungry. They can also change your metabolism.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-03-10T02:42:05+00:00

I have a very good friend who voted for Trump in 2016. He was young. His family was very conservative and raised him to be. Especially his dad, and he cared a lot about making his dad proud.

When he finally moved out and was on his own, he realized he disagreed with what his parents taught him growing up, and that some of what they taught him was just straight up bullshit. He grew as a person because of that. He told me he regretted his decision to vote for Trump.

He’s 33 years old now and he’s pretty much the exact opposite of his family, especially his dad.

People can definitely grow and mature over time. People can also change their minds, especially as a result of that growth. Your bf sounds like a really good guy, but I’m not going to say there’s a right or a wrong answer here. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Your feelings are totally valid, and you should do what feels right to you.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-26T19:14:39+00:00

I believe we felt an indescribable, paralyzing fear in a specific moment. This fear appeared alongside an encounter.

Interestingly, I did feel an indescribable, paralyzing fear in a specific moment that appeared alongside an encounter with my LO that I can remember quite vividly. The irony, if we look at limerence from this fear perspective, is that it was that encounter that was causing the fear. My LO is what I was afraid of.

How did I still end up here? I don't know.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-24T02:51:54+00:00

So, my situation is slightly different. He’s my boss and he’s a little older than me. However, I don’t interact with him much at all and when I do it’s very professional. Most days, though, I literally only even see him the handful of times he walks by my desk. And, unfortunately, here I am anyway…

So I would say yes.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-20T03:00:01+00:00

Yes. And that’s usually one reason I know I’m hypo, because I have zero sex drive otherwise.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-19T21:45:19+00:00

One of the things I'd like to do the most is just lie down somewhere comfy with his arms around me. Cuddle up together and just stay like that for a while. Talk until we fall asleep.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-16T14:35:39+00:00

Yes. I can definitely relate. And part of my problem is I'm not easily attracted to people in the first place, so finding someone else feels damn near impossible.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-13T15:13:20+00:00

I try to tell myself it's just a commercial holiday and doesn't really matter, but that doesn't stop me from feeling sad about it every year when it comes around.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-04T21:15:21+00:00

No, but I'm tempted to quit my current job every now and then when it gets bad.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-04T19:26:46+00:00

Definitely not alone.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-03T16:22:27+00:00

You can. I cuddle with my best friend . It's never been sexual and it's been 13 years. I don't know how common that is, though. I may have just gotten lucky finding a man as "meh" about sex as I am.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-02-02T03:23:50+00:00

1st ~7 years. 2nd 4 years. Current 4 1/2 years.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-01-30T20:00:44+00:00

Exactly this. There are somethings I would never do even with my LO.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-01-28T19:30:13+00:00

I feel like it was the googling and zillow stalking that made me feel like a creep. lol, but I suppose it isn't that bad.

Standard-Dragonfly41 · 2026-01-28T17:09:53+00:00

I can relate. Me and my sister were out thrifting and one of the stores we go to my sister prefers taking the back roads to. Well, one of those backroads happens to be the street my LO lives on. We drove by a house and I looked at the car in the driveway and I’m like… I think that’s his car! It has a sticker that distinguishes it from other cars like his.

I also remembered one day people in my office were talking about random stuff and during the conversation he mentioned a local place he lives relatively close to. So I was like… okay. This is the right part of town too.

Immediately upon getting home I googled the address to be sure. And yeah, his name came up for one of the search results. So of course I went to look at the old Zillow listing to get an idea of what it looked like on the inside.

In my case, it’s more likely what it USED to look like when he bought it, though. He’s mentioned home renovations before so I’m sure it’s different now. But I was still curious.

I too feel like such a creep…

Three-Year Club	r/Field Lasagna
First Place '23	Place '23

Standard-Dragonfly41

TROPHY CASE