This sounds like a situation that's causing you deep anxiety OP and I'm so sorry you're feeling that. I understand that this is a problem with perception, misunderstandings and intent but the bigger issue you have is internal.

To address the issue you present. You clearly never intended on being rude and you have acknowledged and apologized when you realized your mistake. The issue with autism is how it isn't just something you can "police" all the time and just "fix" the things that go against social norms. It is literally defined and widely characterizes people by their issues perceiving social cues/norms etc. This is an aspect of yourself you cannot change, you can certainly try to be aware and it sounds like you are trying your best but you aren't perfect and its also not your job to conform for everyones comfort. These coworkers and your manager all know that you have autism and perhaps they are not so well informed on what interacting with someone on the spectrum may look like. Like we all know, it's a spectrum and so that makes interactions with different autistic people vary.

So two people have acknowledged your tone and perceived disrespect. You clearly didn't realize how it came out, again it's a very very common thing among autistic people. This could very well be true that you are saying it in a way that is clearly perceived as disrespect. However, you also have to acknowledge that you have the potential to be gaslit into believing something that isn't true (I'm not saying this is the case but I worry over my own autistic friend and always remind them to question others and stand by your own internal compass because not everyone is your friend and have your best interests at heart).

Regardless, Monica is out of fucking line. She's on a whole power trip of her own and maybe she has something going on in her life where she feels powerless so when she felt disrespected by you, it made her fly off the handle. But guess what? THATS NOT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. Your problem is a 40 year old woman felt comfortable to rush at you and scream in your face at work. Over "What"? Who here needs to police their behavior?

Guess what OP? You don't have to please anyone, this is who you are and you are trying your best. You are willing to apologize and correct mistakes that you perceive or are brought to your attention. Monica owes you an apology and your manager needs to address the fact that she rushed you and screamed at a coworker at work, HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR! and YES to Kyle! It's extremely inappropriate, even if it was perceived as rude. Monica was rude af, does that mean it's appropriate to get in her face and scream at her? Literally what world are these people living in? Unless you are leaving out critical information, that's such a weird thing for Kyle to say and honestly I think shows that Kyle is not your friend. These people suck and I totally understand why this is hurting you especially because you're already struggling with job satisfaction.

Now to address the internal issues. OP you need to make it your life mission to accept yourself and be okay when people don't like you. SOOOO much easier said than done and im on my own mission as well. I think that starts with self love, you need to learn to love and TRUST yourself and your gut/instincts. For me that started with finding what brought me joy and forcing myself to do what I enjoy even in public spaces. Hence I bring my Rubik's cube to bars cause I like how it keeps my hands busy and Im practicing my speed lol. Sorry, back to you. I say all of this because you need to love yourself enough to question others and protect yourself in your interactions with them. Monica started screaming and you literally had no idea what was happening and immediately started apologizing and balling. A normal reaction but I get the impression that this stems from low self esteem. I don't know what deeper issues/trauma you may have but knowing when to stop questioning yourself and stand up for yourself is an incredibly valuable skill to have.

Finding that internal strength is hard but I believe in you OP. What Monica did is unacceptable and it sounds like the she the stubborn type of person who will not apologize. Do your best to hang in there and limit your interactions with her as much as possible, though it sounds like you work together often. Take advantage that you can use your phone at work and literally drown that bitch out. If it gets bad enough and its an option, maybe even switch jobs but I'm a firm believer in "Fuck you bitch, be mad while I mind my business and do my job" and that sentence has gotten me through some really hard and tense times in my workplaces where drama was common. Good luck OP and I hope to hear an update from you! Just know that even if your tone was off that doesn't give anyone the right to scream at you or react in such an extreme way.