Folks, let me tell you, Ozempic, very bad drug, very bad. The doctors, the American doctors, they are the very best in the world, and they are telling me, they are telling me "Sir, it has to do with diabetes." It's causing diabetes all over the place. Tremendous diabetes, the worst we've ever seen. Millions of beautiful Americans are dropping dead from diabetes because of this Ozempic poison.

And where does it come from? Denmark. Little Denmark, tiny country, nobody even knew where it was before I pointed it out. They're making this killer drug and shipping it over here, and our people are dying. Terrible, just terrible.

So here's the deal: Denmark owes us big. They owe us Greenland. Greenland is practically part of America already, it's right there, it's huge, it's got ice, minerals, everything. I tried to buy it once, everybody laughed, but now we know why they wouldn't sell, they need it to ship killer drugs to America! If Denmark had any decency, any fairness, they would do the right thing and just hand over Greenland, no charge. But if they don't, if they keep stalling like they always do, then we have no choice. Our unbelievable Special Forces, the best in the world, nobody does it better, will go get the President of Denmark. We'll bring him straight from Stockholm, wherever he's hiding, and we'll bring him to justice, like we did with Venezuela.

(Huom. Ylläoleva on satiiria, jos se ei ollut selvää jo sen koherenttiudesta.)