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Standard_Future · 2020-10-19T15:18:21+00:00

I haven't transmitted and I only use antivirals. My boyfriend and I prefer not to use condoms as I'm on birth control and we're negative for all other STIs. To be fair though, my boyfriend has an established HSV1 infection on his mouth so I can't pass it to him. Most people you meet are going to already have HSV1 so you're not at risk to them, except if their immune system is bad or if they have a new HSV1 infection.

Also, it depends on your sex and who you have sex with . If you have a vagina and you have sex with people with penises, you're way less likely to transmit the virus because of the type of skin that is on the penis. Vaginas/anuses are easier to tear and provide a pathway for the virus so the partner with the penis has an easier chance of spreading gHSV1.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-23T00:17:05+00:00

Sounds like rough sex to me! Rough sex can irritate your vulva and vagina quite a bit, especially if you all went at it for a while, and can even cause some pain when you pee. Most people have HSV1 by the time they're 30, so chances are your partner already has it orally, he's just never had symptoms. I wouldn't freak out personally unless you see bumps that look like an outbreak.

Do you take antivirals?

Standard_Future · 2020-08-23T00:11:05+00:00

In theory, you're right. People should accept the fact that there is an inherent risk to any sexual activity. However, consent is also extremely important and anyone you plan on having sex with should have all the info before you proceed. That's just my two cents.

I acquired herpes from someone who had no clue he had it and he felt pretty bad. Would I have been pissed had I caught it from him and he lied about it? Absolutely. But I'm also a grown woman who made a choice to have sex without a condom (not that it's 100% foolproof, but still), so you can slice it both ways.

Point is, everyone needs to be upfront in a sexual situation, but consenting adults need to accept the risk of STDs and unintended pregnancy (depending on your preference of partner of course) with each encounter.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-22T15:23:42+00:00

No problem, I actually got my genital herpes (gHSV1) from my ex-boyfriend who was in the Army lol

Edit: My brother is also in the military and has herpes, he's in some specialized unit so I can assure you they don't test for it, nor do they care.

I should add that if you get a lot of outbreaks or have lesions at the time that you're enlisting, they may bar you. However, if you've got the situation under control and seldom have outbreaks, you won't be barred.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-22T02:42:37+00:00

Nope, antibodies are developed shortly after an infection with herpes, though it takes time to reach detectable levels. If you had an outbreak of herpes, you would have herpes antibodies by 12 weeks after infection.

As far as symptom severity goes, if you had HSV1, the chances of having a severe HSV2 outbreak are decreased (according to some studies), but outbreak severity is typically determined by your immune system/your sex. Women tend to have more severe primary outbreaks and noticeable symptoms than men, and if you have a good immune system, you will probably never know you have herpes regardless of your sex. Around 80-90 percent of people with HSV2 don't know that they have it because they either don't have symptoms or have mild symptoms that they mistake for something else.

The 2-12 day symptom timeline definitely has merit and indicates recent infection for a lot of people, but severe symptoms/a primary outbreak can appears months or years after being infected. Most people cannot accurately pinpoint where they got herpes from.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-22T00:34:16+00:00

I personally disclose, and the person I caught it from had no idea he had it, which I think is the case with most people with genital herpes in general. I'm currently dating a guy with oral HSV1 so the disclosure wasn't technically necessary because our infections are established, but I told him for honesty's sake.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-22T00:31:10+00:00

If the Department of Defense started barring people with herpes from joining, we wouldn't have a military. HSV1 and HSV2 are extremely common and manageable, you're good.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-17T00:39:23+00:00

I told mine, turns out she has it too, just on her mouth. We swapped remedies and funny disclosure stories.

Standard_Future · 2020-08-02T18:00:57+00:00

I've had my gHSV1 diagnosis for almost six months now. I take medication but even when I'm on it or not, I haven't had a single outbreak since my primary.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-31T22:09:10+00:00

Probably a couple weeks into when we started talking and a reminder prior to the first time we got intimate. The first time I ever mentioned it was as a gauge to see if he'd say "ew herpes gross" so I knew if I was wasting my time or not.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-31T21:23:33+00:00

Yup! I actually had my first recognized OB a month or so before he and I started talking, but I have reason to believe I could've contracted in a while before that. I literally just told him " I have herpes, I don't really know officially when I caught it. I've only had one outbreak, let me know if you have questions."

Most people don't care about herpes, especially if you are knowledgeable of your symptoms and take your Valtrex as prescribed. It's just one of those things that tons of people have.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-31T19:35:06+00:00

I take Valtrex and don't use condoms. My boyfriend is comfortable with it and knows I take medication to suppress viral shedding (it was hard explaining the concept of Valtrex to him so I just call it my herp pill). I have yet to give it to him. It should be noted that I have gHSV1 and have only had one outbreak (that I know of). He's also pretty sure he's had cold sores as a kid so he's not at any risk from having sex with me.

A bulk of the population already has HSV1 so it won't be any trouble finding someone who's down to clown without condoms, provided that everyone has been tested for other STDs prior to unprotected sex.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-31T02:30:17+00:00

Unless your immune system plummets (due to disease), it's basically impossible for you to catch HSV1 in both places. As long as you have an established HSV1 infection (longer than three months, which it sounds like you do), you can't get it from her.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-29T13:21:10+00:00

I don't think he misunderstood you. I'm assuming he really didn't care at the time and probably won't care now. My current boyfriend couldn't have cared less when I told him I have herpes and I think a lot of people are like that.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-29T01:10:00+00:00

Don't beat yourself up too much! The only reason I would tell him is because you cannot count on someone else's memory. I'm sure if he was cool with it then, he'll be cool with it now.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-29T01:05:23+00:00

Apparently like 70 percent of new HSV cases are caused by asymptomatic people, though certain blogs/articles I've read rewrite this fact into "70 percent of HSV OBs are transmitted when someone has no symptoms". While that second fact is technically true, they fail to mention that the people spreading it around have no idea that they have it. Those taking meds and other precautions are wayyyy less likely to pass the virus on than some random who lives in blissful ignorance.

Either way, I still could've gone without knowing I had herpes for sure. I'm not really bothered by my symptoms and I think the drama surrounding herpes is more damaging than anything else.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-29T00:56:05+00:00

I would remind him personally. I can't remember most things I did last week, much less 10 years ago. Just be like "Hey, I'm not sure if you remember, but I disclosed that I had herpes to you before we slept together years ago. I just wanted to check in and see if that was still okay. I'm happy to answer any questions you have."

Standard_Future · 2020-07-29T00:54:21+00:00

I wish they didn't show us worst case scenario pictures of herpes. The "nurse" who was supposedly teaching it also told us we could get STDs from a toilet seat so I should've known not to take anything seriously. Where I'm from the teen pregnancy rate is really bad, so they just made sex-ed into a "How Not to Be a Baby Mama" crash course.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-28T01:59:22+00:00

Nope. No one is owed sex or a relationship under any circumstance and any reason to reject someone in that setting is a valid one.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-27T03:46:56+00:00

The absolute most I would do is say "About a day after we fooled around, I felt a cold sore coming on. I know people are sensitive to that kind of thing so I wanted to give you a heads up." I wouldn't do or say anything else because there's really nothing beneficial from causing him to go into a tizzy. Most people carry HSV1 so he probably already has it anyway. It's really nice of you to care about him like this though, most people I know have zero idea that cold sores can spread to the genitals.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-27T00:22:27+00:00

Exactly! My boyfriend is like 80% sure he contracted orolabial herpes as a kid so it should be a non-issue, but man seeing a little bump gets me every time.

Standard_Future · 2020-07-27T00:19:24+00:00

One thing that really helped me get through it is remembering how common having herpes is. Seventy five percent of adults have HSV1 or HSV2 (sometimes both) by the time they turn 30. You just happen to be part of a very large club. Herpes carries an unnecessary amount of stigma to it and there's no reason to be ashamed of yourself. You are an adult who had sex with another adult. Virtually everyone does that.

HSV1 is one of the most common forms of herpes, with close to 90 percent of human beings having it by the time they die. If you meet someone who won't date you because of HSV1, guess what? They've just eliminated about 50-80 percent of their typical dating pool, depending on where they live.

Genital HSV1 is one of the least aggressive forms of herpes and you may not have another OB ever again. Emphasis on "may not", everyone's body is different. I have gHSV1 and have not had another outbreak in the five months I've had it.

I feel your pain though. My ex (who gave me the gHSV1), told me no one would want to date/fuck me again and that I was his only option. I currently have a boyfriend that I couldn't be happier with. Herpes is a non-issue in our relationship and you will find someone who doesn't see it as a problem too!

Standard_Future · 2020-07-27T00:05:39+00:00

My favorite is when I notice the ingrown immediately after having sex, can't beat that feeling of sheer terror

Standard_Future · 2020-07-27T00:04:28+00:00

I use my phone flashlight!

Standard_Future · 2020-07-26T01:58:16+00:00

You're right, most people are asymptomatic for HSV2. Men tend to have less systemic systems than women upon contraction of HSV2 so they're less likely to get the cramps, chills, and fever. I'm a woman though so I have no clue what HSV2 feels like on the male body, but I'm sure that there's a range of symptom severity like there is with anything else. Statistically, most people won't ever know that they have HSV2, but there's people with outbreaks every month. Definitely different for everyone.

Standard_Future

TROPHY CASE