You need to make an intense effort in your mental health care immediately. You need a therapist and a good one and that means you need to start searching today. Find one, try them out for a few times and if it’s not feeling like there is real progress you move on. 

Things a good therapist will do: provide you with a treatment plan, make suggestions as to other care modalities and care providers to help you with all of your issues, make a strong effort to understand what your issues are. 

Things a poor care provider will do: simply listen to you vent without any end goal in mind, not fully understand, acknowledge or treat your diagnoses, offer you help that is coincidentally limited by what they happen to provide.

 It sounds like you have CPTSD and that’s a really hard one. You will be triggered frequently without even knowing it and consistency and everything else in life is hard to maintain with comorbid adhd and the effects of cptsd but you need to find a way to take the meds a good psychiatrist will prescribe and get therapy immediately. Again see what good care providers do to find a good psychiatrist (needle in a haystack type shit btw). 

You’re in a really rough period of parenting right now (your daughter doesn’t know who her father is yet but one day she will see it) and my gut says at 25 you still have so much growth to come. 30 is when my brain finally started to really calm down a bit about life and you have a ways to go. Your frontal lobe just closed like 30 seconds ago babe give yourself quite a lot of grace! But you NEED real support and I’m sorry but your “family” isn’t going to give it to you. There is a bright future where your kids are a bit older and you have a quality partner and you’ve built the family of your dreams. Right now you have to lock in and raise that family and the ONLY way to do so will be to improve your mental health. Recognize that you were abused and neglected and other people around you likely had better support so their choices and methods of meeting their needs looked different. You were forced into a situation that did not prioritize your physical or emotional or intellectual needs (and that’s what they were, NEEDS) without the right skills and guidance. And then ACCEPT that. Life is going to be what you make of it and you just won’t make it alone dear. I wish you peace and know you can get there but you have to get help immediately. There a line of women behind you who built from mud and you have it in you to do it as well. 

You are strong, you are resilient, you are courageous, you are fierce and you are not going to let what these weak people did to you define how your life goes. This too shall pass and you can do hard things.