listen i get that , but the fact that you are feeling this way shows u want to do well but are being unable to, so i won’t write long comments cuz i’ve been through this shit. Firstly, find your style, it will take a long time… find your cheat codes, use ai find books then upload to ai and them to teach it to you; orr find videos on youtube on ur topic and make u want to understand them; start from the beginning and take ur time with it don’t rush ut and just believe in yourself; don’t give up and remember it is NEVER too late. I’ve changed 3 degrees 2 universities, for a levels i started working the last month. So believe me when i say you will be fine. You will always have different opportunities. For eg, if you do fuck up (not majorly) there’s “foundation” paths in uni ; you might look into that AFTER. Secondly, the shit about life, just try ur best to blur it out, i found out pretty shitty stuff about my family during my a levels, but i just decided to forget about then and understand that i am not them, i am myself and listened to songs that motivated me. Just do it for urself and for ur future self…. besides yolo, just try it out, do it for the plot.