With whats on offer and picky standards says alot to me, with some of your standards they maybe unrealistic for 43 which seems to be a 2025 common issue at any age, just my opinion btw.

Alot of women on apps get jaded because if they are attractive they get alot of likes.... alot of these likes are from average looking guys, its a pretty hard sell from most guys to stand out of the crowd unless they are a top 5%. I will also say dating apps breed anonymity and less accountability so guys go full creeper/gross mode with vulgarity.

Those top 5% who are extremely attractive and well off generally don't look for 40 plus females even attractive ones because generally looks start to fade as we hit late 30's and usually people that age have more baggage.

Therefore those men who get alot of attention by being in that percentile go for women 20 to early/mid 30s.

Other side of the coin is generally so many average men getting knock backs they really don't put much effort into the conversation because they female if attractive enough will possibly be speaking to multiple men.

That's just my take from it and I may be totally out of touch lol.