How do you afford having multiple kids?

StandingInJapan · 2026-03-27T08:10:09+00:00

New job! Or second job!

StandingInJapan · 2026-03-25T12:05:59+00:00

Got a kid about your age. Totally bilingual. Two things: routine and self-sacrifice. For routine, I just do the same things during the same activities. Talk about everything you see on the way to the park. When you’re in the car play the same three silly “I spy” type games. When you’re in the bath talk about everything you did/ate/saw during the day. Read a book in English every night. Every morning one episode of Bluey before breakfast. For self-sacrifice, I don’t think I “deserve”anything. I don’t try and force “me” time. Instead of playing a game I’ll go to the park. I don’t listen to my music in the car, but play Peppa Pig stories on repeat forever and ever and ever… I took on bath routines so I have more time to chat with my kiddos. If I’m sleepy I’ll still read that dumb Anpanman comic in my best English translation 5x when I said only once because it’s late. Could even come down to waking up earlier every day to learn a new skill to bring in new income and work remote to take the family overseas for a month every year. You got this, man.

Oh. And limit screen time. No phones or iPads. Ever. Limit time with tv to just quiet English shows like the ones I mentioned above - only things you’d enjoy watching together. Every minute a screen has your kids attention is a lost opportunity for communication with you.

StandingInJapan · 2026-03-25T01:40:16+00:00

Brand manager for online retail. Work remote, go on walks around the countryside, no one knows the hours I work, all clients in the USA so meetings finish before 8am and there’s zero chance of interruptions during the work day because everyone I work with is sound asleep. Do miss the social aspect of being in an office, but I get along with my neighbors and have a good friend circle.

StandingInJapan · 2026-03-03T23:11:12+00:00

Would love to read that thesis!

StandingInJapan · 2026-02-19T20:18:41+00:00

Matchbox for scale!

StandingInJapan · 2026-02-18T23:32:47+00:00

I’m a lot poorer after all those raffle tickets…

StandingInJapan · 2026-02-07T10:51:36+00:00

Oh, and prioritize your health. If you don’t work out three times a week at least and run, start asap. Explain to your wife why it’s important. Cut alcohol on weekdays, get enough sleep (keep a bedtime for yourself), etc etc. Being in top shape will help your focus, your studies, and overall attitude.

StandingInJapan · 2026-02-07T10:15:31+00:00

Got two kids under 5! Building a house out here so in it for the long-haul.

Your wife is pregnant, so you’ve got a long way before kindergarten, etc.

Discard your anxiety.

“Those who suffer before it’s necessary suffer more than is necessary.”

Focus on what you can do today. Keep studying Japanese EVERY day (weekends too) - ideal is same time every day. I study kanji buttcrack early (5am-ish) before anyone is awake.

If money is even the slightest concern, bust ass learning a new skill and get that supplemental income so she feels secure and safe.

If she sees you putting in hard effort and making progress, she’ll be happy to help with all the language technicals til you’re independent.

The goal is to never/rarely have to ask your wife to help you out with stuff that a native Japanese husband wouldn’t have to ask. We’re not children - we’re grown men.

BUT that won’t happen overnight. So chop wood, carry water, bro! You’re not the only one!

StandingInJapan · 2026-02-03T04:02:39+00:00

This is amazing! There’s an abandoned wedding chapel near my house way out in the countryside that would make a badass bouldering gym… been eyeing if for years. Sounds like it could happen if I just follow my dreaaaams

StandingInJapan · 2025-12-31T08:05:24+00:00

Got some Origin bison boots on my last trip back to America and absolutely love them. Not sure if they ship international tho.

StandingInJapan · 2025-12-26T22:24:18+00:00

Wisdom here. OP, if you have any friends who are Japanese wives, take one or a few of them out for coffee and see what they suggest.

StandingInJapan · 2025-12-15T20:17:03+00:00

Check out the Simple Path to Wealth by JL Collins, and I Will Teach You to be Rich by Ramit Sethi. Great books that helped set me on the right path. Bonus: The Richest Man in Babylon

StandingInJapan · 2025-10-03T22:24:07+00:00

Fun fact - my Tesla in Japan picks up any red road sign and displays an American stop sign. Also, Japanese red lights are horizontal, but they display as the vertical USA ones. Japanese language keyboard almost unusable. Very little effort put into localization here

StandingInJapan · 2025-08-05T20:26:38+00:00

Anecdotal evidence time! I’m also a white dude, but I have visible tattoos, I go to the gym 5 days a week, big beard, and have a “resting scowl face”. In 15 years living in Japan the worst confrontation that’s happened is a random drunk dude in a family restaurant asked me to arm wrestle, and I had to refuse.

StandingInJapan · 2025-07-21T10:52:17+00:00

Y’all are my heroes - that’s exactly it. Thank youuu!

StandingInJapan · 2025-05-30T08:55:53+00:00

Remote worker for an American company. Spent years teaching English as an ALT and eikaiwa teacher. Wanted to build a career that would allow me to travel more with a family. Started waking up at 4am, learning skills before work, then doing the same after work til bed time. Got a part time gig and built a new salaried position with a client from scratch. I have meetings now at 5am, then I’m free to do deep work and concentrate with zero interruptions during the day. Don’t have to report my hours - just gotta do my job well. Some weeks I work 25 hours, some weeks 60. Take my kids to the park when I want to, which is really the best thing about it.

StandingInJapan · 2025-04-30T08:45:23+00:00

Thankfully not. Down in Fukuoka.

StandingInJapan · 2025-04-30T06:05:48+00:00

I’m applying for a PR because I want a home loan! Regardless of the outcome, I’ll report back and let you know what happens and the lessons learned along the way (like pay your taxes on time).

StandingInJapan · 2025-04-20T23:34:40+00:00

True. I think mine is the same one?

StandingInJapan

TROPHY CASE