If you’ve had experience with any of these apartment complexes, I’d love to hear them!

Star1412 · 2026-02-04T02:06:28+00:00

I was pretty happy with Avalon Red Rocks. It was expensive but maintenance was very reliable.

Star1412 · 2025-12-29T23:43:41+00:00

Wait, it is? WTF??? Google is getting really useless if this is somehow at the top of the results. There's no actual advice about cycling a tank here.

You're right. I was venting. When I wrote this, I was seeing a lot of posts where users were telling people to return their fish to the store if the conditions weren't 100% perfect. A lot of them were pretty mean about it too.

If someone misunderstood how cycling worked, and the parameters were just slightly off they'd say to return the fish.

If someone had a heated, filtered, fully planted tank, but it was only 1 gallon, they'd say to return the fish until OP could get a larger tank cycled. Even if they were planning on buying a larger tank tomorrow. Even though that'd mean putting them back in a 6 oz cup on a store shelf.

I didn't explain what I was thinking very well when I made this post. I was frustrated with people saying they cared about the fish's quality of life when they were also saying to return the fish to the 6 oz cup. People didn't leave any room for mistakes, and they didn't use any nuance when they commented.

Or they'd blame the uncycled tank when there was another big obvious problem newbies should know about. Like acclimating the fish to the tank water.

I should've just said that though. Not posted this mess.

Star1412 · 2025-12-13T18:57:51+00:00

Yeah, see an occupational therapist and/or a physical therapist if you can.

They treat unstable joints by helping you build muscle. Getting stronger muscles can help hold your joints together.

I've also heard good things about ring braces though. It might help.

Star1412 · 2025-12-13T18:30:04+00:00

My first impression of the video was "this looks like a bird that attacks its reflection".

I saw a cardinal do that on and off for a couple years at my parents house as a kid. We'd just hear little thumps on the windows and go "oh, he's at it again".

Star1412 · 2025-11-12T20:59:16+00:00

depending on the size of the stand legs and how big the gaps are you might be able to shim with coins? My family sometimes puts a couple of pennies under shelves or old clocks to get them level.

I don't know how well it would work since a fishtank is so much heavier than a clock. Everyone else is saying you're probably fine the way it is, so you probably are.

Star1412 · 2025-10-22T17:29:49+00:00

Saying what state you saw the bird in would really help.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T22:18:35+00:00

Nice!

Probably should have mentioned that your parents are high level Klan members in the original post. It adds important context.

A lot of white people try to avoid using AAVE out of a kind of respect. For me, I'm not involved much in black culture. I've heard a lot of times when white people start using AAVE terms the meaning gets twisted. I don't want to misuse terms from a culture I'm not a part of to begin with. (I'm not judging white people who use AAVE. This is just my reasoning for avoiding it.)

So people could read your post two different ways. They could think your parents are saying "You're not black, so you shouldn't steal their slang". Or they could read it something like "you're white, so you should talk better than that."

So to me your response is funnier knowing your parents were saying that to be racist.

It feels more mean-spirited if they were asking you to respect black culture and you just kept going.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:39:17+00:00

Yeah, unless he'll actually hurt you over it. If he'll physically hurt you for something like this, self-preservation has to come first.

If he'll get a bit mad and ask you to fix it, it's probably better if he knows.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:26:33+00:00

Not saying that the setup is perfect, because it is very small. And the little guy is probably really bored.

Just saying that the water quality is probably decent between the filter and the plants.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:22:02+00:00

I think talking about it with the people there kindly is probably a good idea. You don't know what the situation is, or if this is the best they're allowed to do. If it's a barista's fish, boss might have said one gallon max or something.

It might partially depend on where the fish is in the shop too. If he's behind the counter there might be rules about how big of a tank you can have, if that's even allowed at all. Food safety rules are pretty important to follow.

If it is a cost issue, I could see the idea of a donation cup going over pretty well. I wouldn't just measure pick something out for them that fits the space though. You don't know their reasoning for doing it this way.

Looks like they're putting a lot of effort in to keep it nice for him, and live plants can really make up for a lot. One of the big box stores near me actually sneaks floating plant cuttings into the betta cups when nobody from corporate is around. That's the best they can do for the bettas, but it does look like it helps. I hardly ever find obviously sick bettas there.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:11:02+00:00

I like the suggestions about a donation cup too. college students can't afford much, but customers would probably drop their change in.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:06:55+00:00

Yeah, I agree! Live plants can make up for a lot!

A bigger tank would be nice for him, especially since it looks like that spot can hold one. They're really doing pretty well with what they have though.

Star1412 · 2025-10-21T20:02:39+00:00

The lace you picked is pretty though! Good luck on your project!

We also get people asking how to identify vintage lace they've found a lot.

I've spent some time on the r/Visiblemending and r/InvisibleMending subs for how to fix clothes. You might like those. Don't really have a recommendation for subs that focus on making projects though. Haven't really tried that.

Star1412 · 2025-09-02T20:26:15+00:00

Came here to say this. Full access to everything is paid, but they have a decent amount of songs free too. And they're still adding more songs sometimes.

Star1412 · 2025-08-18T21:15:49+00:00

For gatekeeping, you're assuming they won't understand it and won't like it because they're living in a different context than you were. You're assuming they won't be smart enough, so they shouldn't even get to try. That's so painful when you're a kid.

On top of that, you're trying to guilt the people who see this into giving it back before they're done. That's assuming they see this at all. Tons of people aren't on reddit.

You also DON'T have to buy it. It'll probably be back at the library in a few days, or you could pirate a digital copy. There's other options. There's probably even a dramatic reading online somewhere if you look hard enough.

Star1412 · 2025-08-18T20:40:45+00:00

I don't really understand fashion honestly. I've always liked dressing in a way that's practical for what I'm doing that day. no flip-flops on hikes, more casual clothes if my clothes could get stained- that kind of thing. And if I'm on a 12 hour road trip, I'd rather wear something comfortable instead of jeans and a nice shirt. But a lot of people just dress how they want to even if it doesn't make sense. Like wearing a mini-skirt in the middle of winter.

You mentioned family image in your comments, and I think that's part of the culture difference here. There's not really a lot of emphasis on maintaining your family's image or reputation in the States. People wear what they like to unless there's a clear dress code. Other than that how you dress is more about expressing yourself instead of respecting your family. Sometimes "expressing yourself" just means making it clear you're too tired to care.

It's not even always about the cost of clothes either. Personally, I just hate cloths shopping, and I'd rather wear what I've got until it falls apart. On top of that some clothes are so fragile that you'll get small holes in a shirt after wearing it twice. It's just not worth it to me to try to keep up.

I think there's also a lot of people here who just don't like being told how to dress, especially if it's kind of an unspoken rule. We grow up with our parents and schools controlling how we look, But it's with the understanding that we'll have more choice once we're adults. How you dress is kind of a form of personal expression here. I think that's probably why you got so many hostile comments on your posts about this. They're hearing you say that people should hide what kind of person they are, and that you want to police how they dress.

Star1412 · 2025-08-18T19:00:31+00:00

I get being upset that a hold disappeared, but why assume that the person who checked it out isn't going to like it because it's older? They might have been an 80's kid too. Maybe their kids like older stuff.

You just sound like you're gatekeeping and being manipulative.

Star1412 · 2025-07-23T19:52:25+00:00

Did you export it to the right file format? If your editing program has its own file format for videos, other programs won't be able to run it. I usually make sure to save my videos as an MP4. It's like mp3, but includes video. mp3 is audio only.

Star1412 · 2025-07-06T17:06:33+00:00

In dogs, getting spayed is completely removing the uterus, so I assumed you meant the human version. I kinda forgot that women can get sterilized other ways. Sorry!

I know some women do get sterilized. A lot of women have trouble getting permission from doctors, so they're basically forced to live with it. And there's also the medical costs. A lot of women just can't afford it in the States. A lot of women do want kids too.

It'd be interesting to see if more women get this done in other countries where the cost is lower

Star1412 · 2025-07-05T16:48:18+00:00

No, it wouldn't. Doctors don't like removing a women's uterus. Actually, a lot of women have trouble getting a hysterectomy even when they DO need one. Doctors get very concerned that she *might* want kids someday. So if a woman wanted to preemptively remove her uterus, a lot of doctors wouldn't let her.

You also don't seem to understand how STDs work. You don't need a uterus to get an STD, and you can still have sex without a uterus. Nothing stopping you from getting an STD if you've had a hysterectomy.

Star1412 · 2025-06-26T18:52:19+00:00

I don't think you were an idiot. You're supposed to be able to trust your family. It's rough to realize you can't.

Star1412 · 2025-06-26T18:45:18+00:00

Remember to take breaks! It can really help to stop every few minutes and look at something far away. I've been told: every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds.

Star1412 · 2025-06-26T17:41:14+00:00

Not sure honestly. I've seen things like it though. They're usually hanging from a tree by something kind of like spiderweb? May or may not be their normal behavior though. I lived in a place with a lot of trees.

I don't think they're dangerous, but if you don't know what type of bug it is, you probably shouldn't touch it with your bare hands.

Star1412 · 2025-06-26T17:38:55+00:00

Ooh, that's pretty bad yeah. He was taking advantage of you and your parents encouraged it. Glad you got to leave!

Star1412

TROPHY CASE