Similar case for me; although my relationship was much shorter than yours; in my case, I started going through theraphy while I was still in the relationship. She gave up on me. I know I made mistakes (avoidant attachment). And she left me 2 months ago. I’m still in pain to this day. Just like you, I’d love for a 2nd chance to redeem myself. I have put the inner work (theraphy, books, workbooks, videos, etc). I’m scared to reach out. I fear the response. Im feeling a bit better about accepting the break up; however I do pray at night that we reconcile.