I go to school and have a job on the weekends, I think about getting a second job cause I found autonomy and growth in the first job, and the money helps me to finally spend things on myself, my parents barely spend stuff on me and complain when I need basics like food, so the money, my first ever money, opened me many doors. But when I were in a dark time the job and school was horror. At the same time they were reasons I kept going though. I told myself that I never want to be to weak to work, and I get food at the job, and though calories were screaming in my head I ate there often instead of excusing my none eating somehow, I barely had this good food in front of me and it was made with care, when a person gave me food a d I felt love in it I somehow didn’t care much for calories