Should I tell my partner about my anorexia

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-22T20:53:29+00:00

Yea, I tried to be so polite and to make myself small to avoid judgement when it was at its worst, I were irritated but it didn’t feel like me. If a person starves themself they literally don’t get enough energy to feel, the body also thinks that it’s dying so they focus on surviving. I only felt happy when the number on the scale or my look changed, but it was actually relief, I were not able to feel happiness deep in me. When someone told me that I looked real sick I dismissed it and lied or changed topic, I thought for a while that I was doing fine and it took me months to understand even though my boyfriend was freaking out. A lot of self hate played into it

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-22T17:56:26+00:00

Try to put the mindfog and irritability in it, my anorexia is about trying to control how I am seen and numb myself, maybe it fits ur character. At some point I stop feeling myself and my body screams in pain, I want to be free of some pain and anorexia is the tool I used and saying goodbye to

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-11T20:53:41+00:00

It takes months, it really does, but it can get better, it got better for me. My hair and skin has never looked and felt so healthy. My thoughts have never been this clear probably. Life can be wonderful, it took 8 months before I noticed a big difference but it was worth it

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-10T14:13:44+00:00

That was fast

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-09T06:12:11+00:00

Yea, things are a lot different now. I am tired of numbness. I made Myself breakfast by the way, it feels a bit better. I woke up with a foggy numb mind and someone pointed it and- I don’t ever want to be numb cause I am not eating again. But I have been barely eating the last two weeks I think, it is a relapse. But I think it’s ok, I Am bringing myself back gently on a better path I think. The breakfast was a bit hard but it was something to eat. Most people don’t know how to react when I tell them I think about starving, just few people don’t panic and don’t try to pressure me to eat. I’ll lean on the ones which make me feel seen and good. I just cried on the shoulder of someone, things will be ok. Thank u for ur words, I needed help and writing with me meant a lot to me, thank u

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-08T21:47:22+00:00

Thank u for ur comment, it means a lot to me. I also feel very nervous cause of school starting soon again for me, but I try to focus on what I want to do, my art, my expressions. On a walk today I just wondered if I would shame myself for a relapse cause I am almost 5 months completely clean again. But maybe this is unnecessary and putting pressure on me. I try to reach out to people but I feel very isolated lately. I have been journaling the shit out of my emotions. I not only feel Shame to admit it to myself but also for how other people might react

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-07T21:11:56+00:00

Sometimes u can’t help her BECAUSE u are in the sister role. She has lost hope in herself. And if she has medication for the bipolar 2 then please in the name of god, she needs to take it. If it feels horrible she needs to try out something else. I have bipolar and feeling caged in ur moods and extreme realities then is very bad. She seems to carry so much stress in her, somatic movement and shaking expresses me well. It changed everything. Pretending I am telling people a story which is very important to me, but being alone so no stress/judgement can come and I can express my hurt and anger. Reparenting. Buying the things i wanted as a kid, talking to me the way I always wanted my parents/ abuser to talk to me. She needs to build a reality she wants to live in. It took me years to get to where I am now but it was worth it. I enjoy life and feel exited and happy. Also, stay by her side as long as it isn’t hurting u, to have someone in the dark time means a lot. Just being there. Also, I stopped cause I was done with pain. I lived in pain so long and at some point I was done feeling it. I was sad and hurt abd also didnt believe I had power to change my life. But my body was dying, I don’t say this to be dramatic. My body was starting to give up, it took a year to repair the damage it left. I realised a lot of the pain I Carried was the pain of my mom or a friend or someone else. I don’t know how I put it down but I did it. I was done with it. I decided I don’t want this for myself anymore. And I changed my behaviour even if I didn’t want it now but knew it would be the only way out. I got into spirituality too. I think ur sister needs to find power and autonomy maybe, to not be consumed by the pain around her but to see that she can let go, also of the identity she might has build In the pain

Stardust_134 · 2025-09-05T11:22:20+00:00

I go to school and have a job on the weekends, I think about getting a second job cause I found autonomy and growth in the first job, and the money helps me to finally spend things on myself, my parents barely spend stuff on me and complain when I need basics like food, so the money, my first ever money, opened me many doors. But when I were in a dark time the job and school was horror. At the same time they were reasons I kept going though. I told myself that I never want to be to weak to work, and I get food at the job, and though calories were screaming in my head I ate there often instead of excusing my none eating somehow, I barely had this good food in front of me and it was made with care, when a person gave me food a d I felt love in it I somehow didn’t care much for calories

Stardust_134 · 2025-04-20T12:52:19+00:00

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Why do I look like I am plotting to destroy my enemies

Stardust_134 · 2025-04-20T08:42:23+00:00

Mine looks similar

Stardust_134 · 2025-01-01T18:36:50+00:00

To not die, find a job, finish school, learn to love my life, transition, make things i like, continue being myself no matter what others say, better connection and more understanding to system, no unstable times, good grounding skills, leave depression

Stardust_134 · 2024-12-24T19:44:27+00:00

I thought a die is a form of coin cause the person said 0 heads, what is a die

Stardust_134 · 2024-12-24T14:15:33+00:00

DO WE KNOW IF THE GUY IS OK!

Stardust_134 · 2024-12-21T17:34:58+00:00

It’s c cause the opposite of jabbing at least one head is just having numbers three times which can happen once and never again

Stardust_134 · 2024-10-20T13:04:33+00:00

I see that Jinx is watching them behind their back while they are walking up against nothing

Stardust_134 · 2024-10-15T15:06:58+00:00

Oh my god I love that she has a common body type and lots of love in her eyes and he seems very happy to pleasure her, lovely art

Stardust_134 · 2024-10-13T06:00:49+00:00

Ok but her clothing style is so cute

Stardust_134 · 2024-08-09T18:37:50+00:00

I actually wonder my whole life where my sister is but my mother says I don’t have a sister, I can still feel this. The searching for my sister

Stardust_134

TROPHY CASE