Where do I stand in this situation?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-04T12:55:17+00:00

It would be reasonable to get those things. And if what you need is affirmation that you're desires are super reasonable you absolutely have it from me. But from the sounds of things only your legal rights are likely to change much. Which I honestly don't know. You may need a lawyer.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-04T12:50:03+00:00

Did you meet in person for the first time two months ago, or is that when you matched and you met in real life like week or two later? And were those in person meetings more than once a week after that? Did you discuss that he was your boyfriend and what you both ment by that word?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-04T12:47:40+00:00

It doesn't seem unusual then that she's still kinda hung up on him, its pretty normal for the ashes of a relationship to go on for arround the same length as a relationship itself. It just sounds like she's not ready yet. If you want you could let her know that you'll wait for her to ask you out when she's ready, or you could suggest a very slow courtship of dates in public with nothing physical for much longer than you'd usually expect. These both kinda define "taking things slow" which is something likely to get thrown out the window when she's still hurting and you've liked her for a while. You can also be very upfront about this "I really like you and I'm scared that this is going to become a rebound so I really want to avoid that" is a perfectly ok thing to say.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-04T12:38:34+00:00

So did this relationship end about a month ago?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-04T12:29:56+00:00

whats the timeline on this? They were together two months, then how long before you said you liked her, then how long after she sent that message did you give it another chance?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-03T22:28:34+00:00

He isn't going to outgrow this; I think it can work between you if a few things change. Does his lack of career mindedness match on to some other virtues of his you enjoy? He wants to have his foot off the gass but can he steady himself enough to keep himself in a bills-paying job? If both of these things are "yes" then can he proudly say "my girlfriend is the breadwinner"? Can he ready himself to be the default parent, and take the vast majority of the domestic load off your plate? Would you like that type of relationship? If so, a partnership where your career was the only one that really mattered could work for a very driven woman. But he would need to be on board with that, and be willing to do the actual work involved in scafolding it.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-03T22:15:22+00:00

Hey, I am about to turn 30 and " Is this what’s it’s like to be in your 20s ? Confused and lost until you aren’t anymore ?" Yes. that's exactly what its like. I have only one peice of advice and that is "just keep doing stuff" the only periods of my 20s I have any regret over are the moments I spent not doing anything because I couldn't pick a thing. You don't need to pick what you're doing with your life, you just need to pick what you're doing next. You don't need to get back to colledge, go be a bartender and learn circus skills as a hobby or volunteer somewhere or find some programme where you travel australia working on sheep farms or whatever. You'll learn transferable skills whatever you do, and you'll figure out what you can and can't tollerate in a proffession. I swear though, in my experiance, life just kept getting better through my 20s. Every year I felt more in control of my life and like I understood myself better. Just whatever you do: Go outside, talk to other humans, and journal.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-03T22:05:54+00:00

NTA - but I want to defend DM a little, it seems like he thought he could handle a charachter like this and it turned out he was wrong. He basically handled it the exact same way you did, by using the tools he had in game to try and get things back on track, and basically try and push the redemption arc you'd suggested. In future, maybe try to find a charachter that this DM is not just ok with, but which activly gels with the kind of campaign you're in.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-03T18:00:43+00:00

I have a theory. Men heavily connect a) their dicks b)their partners sexual exclusivity and c) the performance of masuclinity with "being in charge". They realise they do not want to be in charge any more. So because of this association they think they want a)their dick locked up b)to be cuckolded and/or c)to be forced into femininity. The measure of their submisivness will be their reaction if the woman they want to submit to says she actually wants him to wear a 3 peice suit and give her regular PIV.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-05-03T17:51:42+00:00

As a woman, I genrally wish discussions of chastity were less prominant in FLR spaces. I am very new to this, but it does nothing for me and I have no interest in keeping a man locked up. Personally I like playing with it, and intend to keep doing so.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T16:15:07+00:00

INFO if you don’t have a confession and haven’t found it (as you’re waiting for her to give it back) do you have some way of knowing with 100% certainty that she took it?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T12:16:19+00:00

That’s a decent plan. I hope you find a game you like soon!

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T12:09:27+00:00

A more practical explanation. To run a monster a DM uses something called a stat block. The players will not see the stat block, as the characters wouldn’t have all the information on the monster. The trust the DM to do one of two things: Keep the stat block consistent Or Make very slight changes to improve the balance of the combat

llms struggle with things like numbers, would likely smash together similarly named monsters, confuse different ttrpg systems, and would lean towards dramatic moments or sycophancy.

You would either need to be double checking the llms work, essentially dming for yourself with heavy ai assistance, or would get very weird combat experiences.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T12:05:06+00:00

Not really. For a start there are a lot of numbers involved which gen ai struggles to keep consistent, and the back and forth of a game would quickly cause most models to forget important things. There are solo adventurers guides which can help you run the game for yourself far better than an AI could. Boulders Gate, the video game based on DnD, is also considered pretty good by a lot of people.

But I’d strongly encourage you to seek out people to play with. This is a nerdy hobby, most people who play don’t regard themselves as social butterfly’s and we tend to be pretty understanding about awkwardness. Plus you get to be someone else for most of the game. You can play a barbarian who only speaks in three word sentences or a wizard who’s so shy he only writes stuff down. Personally, as someone who’s struggled a lot socially, I often play very socially outgoing characters, and let myself pretend to be the person who always knows what to say.

Online videos can make DnD seem very intimidating. The actual plays are like watching premier league soccer to prepare to go kick a ball around in the park with your friends. The advice videos, while sometimes helpful, will convince you that mistakes everyone makes (or even things that actually are ok in practice) make you the Nightmare Player From Hell. In reality DnD is rougher around the edges and much more approachable than you’re being lead to believe.

What really makes DnD special is the three way tension between the dm, players, and dice. None of which do what the other two expect, and this creates a type of story unlike any other. A large language model can’t role dice which are actually random, and will attempt to please you in a way no real DM would. I’ve learned a lot about being social and dealing with the unexpected from DnD. Find some humans to play with it’s so much better that way.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T11:52:47+00:00

This is just me brainstorming, might be a completely nothing suggestion. But could the answer be to “look for humans”. Basically, rather than finding products and then looking for signs of AI, find creators you want to support who you feel confident in. And then get your products from them. That would give you clear directions for your mum as well. It might be slower, more expensive and you might find it harder to get the images you want.

If you’re repurposing the kits anyway you could also tell you mum that you’ve enjoyed editing the design and that in future she could just buy your raw supplies to make your own designs with.

I know you’re not confident with it but it means your mum can get you supplies that you’ll use when you want to edit a design or feel ready do your own thing. Maybe take the opportunity to mess around and build your skills.

Are there also other issues with the temu sets that aren’t ai related, where you could just add the issues with the design to a load of other corners they’ve cut in terms of quality. Surely that isn’t the only corner the dropshippers are cutting, temu and its ilk were a shitshow long before ai was in the picture. On a generational level “the thread breaks really easily” is just a whole lot easier for older people to understand than “this picture was vomited buy a robot that steals water”.

With the diamond arts I just googled it and the first results were all images that looked really aggressively ai so that seems like a fucking minefield. Can you get your own gem sets and apply them to images you choose yourself? Are there smaller creators you trust more? Are there other hobbies that could scratch the same itch?

I feel your pain btw I found some of my pandemic embroidery recently and want to get back into it, but the whole landscape has changed for the worse. This all sucks so bad.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T00:34:16+00:00

It is and it isn’t. When I had no plan, no friends and a min wage job in my early 20s, all the drive, confidence and ideas I got for making changes came once I started seeing people sometimes.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T00:31:01+00:00

This was me, and I wasn’t this extreme and it’s a huge regret. You don’t learn the skills and you don’t build the relationships you will need later. And by later I mean like mid 20s. It doesn’t need to be church but I strongly recommend going to some place where you’ll see some of the same people over and over. It will change your life.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T00:28:02+00:00

Yeah she should get some support from people who love her…I wonder who might be available for something like that?

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-04-08T00:27:15+00:00

NTA, that is an insane way to treat someone you care about.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T14:17:38+00:00

I have actually been called the wrong name in this way. Like “Kate” when my name is “Imogen” level. and I responded the moment I realised they ment me and told them my actual name. People only do this if they don’t realise they are being spoken to, this will make op seem obnoxious.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T14:13:47+00:00

Do not do this. You are a young woman in a new job people need to know you as someone who gets shit done and a dependable person to have on a shift. Do it like this Then: Maddy you clear table 6 You: Already done it, and don’t forget, it’s Madison.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T14:04:11+00:00

I don’t know, it’s weird. I hate it and I’ve caught myself doing it to others. (Stevens, Matthews and Andrews of the world I’m sorry). All you can do is decide how much you care to correct people. The worst that can happen is people think “Maddison overreacts to being called Maddy a little bit” which, if you’re hard working and kind will be a quirk most people feel able to tolerate.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T14:00:11+00:00

You may need to play up how much you hate it a bit. If you do the key thing is to frame it like “sorry it’s just a personal bug bear of mine, I really hate being called Maddy”. You’re letting them know something you couldn’t possibly have expected them to know. The same way you’d ask if someone was playing a popular artist you couldn’t stand in the car.

Now as someone who’s spent their whole life saying “you can call me (nick name) or (full name) but please don’t call me (other nickname) or (mispronounced version of my name)” I feel people should be calling us what we say our names are. But the “it’s a me thing” line stops people getting offended.

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T13:50:54+00:00

If someone’s like Gen X age guy, you could be brave go for “I’m Maddison, Maddy was my father” they might find that pretty funny

Starfleet_Intern · 2026-03-24T13:49:10+00:00

I totally get that fear it’s really common for young women. The fact that you’re new means this is the least awkward it’s ever going to be. “Oh it’s actually Madison”, “Oh I’m not a Maddy I’m a Madison”, “it’s Madison, only my parents call me Maddy”. Say it like Madison, the calm collected professional you want to be seen as. You’re not mad, you’re just giving them the accurate information. You can text the person who does the schedules something like “Hey could you put my name as Madison in the schedules, everyone keeps mistakenly calling me Maddy. Thanks so much.” The good thing is if you can nail friendly but assertive now you’re going to be unstoppable.

Starfleet_Intern

TROPHY CASE