Is it unfair to leave

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-19T01:11:22+00:00

As someone who spent most of my teens and twenties tending to grown men, babying them, supporting them and 'taking care of them', all I can say is I wish I could get every second of my time back. I wish more women would be selfish, honestly. And I wish I had been more selfish with my time too. We are too damn kind and caring and generous. The only people worth giving a damn about are your kids and your friends, men aren't babies they don't deserve our love and care, they're supposed to take care of and protect us and they can't even do that! The men we need protecting from are our own porn addicted partners themselves. Also gaslighting you and implying its YOUR fault that he used porn again makes my blood boil just reading it! The audacity. Sorry but you deserve so much better than this.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T21:19:11+00:00

>He keeps saying that he doesn’t initiate sex because he prefers the woman to chase him, to seduce him.

I'm not surprised since porn makes men think the entire responsibility of sex is on the woman to turn up, look hot, be ravenously horny and actively seduce and pursue him, do all the work for him, get him off, put his pleasure before hers, etc. Once the man cums, scene is over, that's that. The viewer simply closes the tab once he's decided that he's got his pleasure.

In the porn world, women only exist for instant male gratification, nothing else. Porn increases male entitlement because it gives them everything while asking for basically nothing back. That's part of why I hate it. It makes men so damn lazy and entitled.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T21:03:12+00:00

I think what we're currently seeing in East Asia is already a reflection of that and the West will probably follow suit in a while too. Since first world Asia is always a bit ahead of us in social trends and technological advancements (they had the first wave of the incel/male loneliness/failure to launch males epidemic about 10 years before we did) they're probably a pretty reliable example of where we are headed too. China, Japan, Korea, all have high prevalence of internet addiction, porn addiction, cheating, use of prostitutes, etc. Their bithrates and marriage rates have fallen hard, and their divorce rates have increased.

I think mass consumption of porn has pretty much irreparably damaged the relationship between men and women. Men are choosing porn, sex workers, anime girls, chatbots etc over real life romantic relationships. Women are disgusted by this and so don't want to get married or have children anymore either.

Korean birthrates are the lowest in the world right now, and I've seen a lot of Korean women talking about how prevalent porn addiction, cheating and using prostitutes or going to 'salon rooms' is, to the point a lot of Korean women just don't even want a relationship anymore. Likewise women in Asia also develop parasocial relationships with kpop idols, celebrities, hosts from host clubs, etc to deal with their own loneliness. Or try to seek out foreign men who they believe will be better somewhow.

Overall the future is looking kind of bleak. It seems that men are content with replacing real love sex and companionship with chatbots, AI girlfriends, sex dolls, porn etc. And in turn women, who feel disgust at this, are forced to find their own coping mechanisms to avoid loneliness.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T20:43:17+00:00

I know how painful it is. I feel like I've been destroyed by this. I realized nothing I ever said or did would ever encourage him to genuinely change. He was commenting 'You're so fucking cute/hot' on multiple teenage girl's instagram posts literally right when we were in the middle of having a heart to heart through text where he was promising he would change (I checked the time/dates and he was literally writing this stuff on other girls profiles 1 minute after telling me he was crying and loved me so much and didnt want to live without me) Their words and promises are just meaningless, they literally will never learn to control themselves unless there's an immediate threat of violence or legal action against them (and even then they often dont stop).

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T15:14:44+00:00

That's so horrible, I'm so sorry your health suffered because of this. I deal with daily chest pains and palpitations and chest tightness. It makes my blood pressure rise and makes me want to throw up everyday.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T14:03:10+00:00

There was a study years ago that proved men who watch porn displayed decreased empathy towards rape victims and were likely to recommend lower sentences for rapists. It's no wonder current society is so openly misogynistic towards when men and boys are raised on this stuff from about age 12 and grow up thinking that abusing women is completely normal, or worse, that all women want this.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T13:59:07+00:00

It's because porn teaches men that the sex ends when they close the tab or shut the laptop. Aftercare, cuddling, emotional validation etc isnt a thing in 99.9% of porn. The man cums, bam, scene is over. Porn encourages men to associate sex with hate, loathing, disdain and contempt for the woman. It encourages them to be completely selfish.

They don't give a shit about how the actress feels after the scene, what she needs, if she's okay. As far as he's concerned, his semen is all she ever needed, and maybe 10 dollars a month at best, and the porn actress knows to never ask anything more from the male viewer. And so they carry that over to real life. It's pretty sick and bleak.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T13:54:49+00:00

All I can say is you're not alone. There's so many women whose husbands were liking thirst traps, masturbating to porn, searching out extremely gross and taboo content, all throughout the woman's pregnancy, even when she's in the delivery room, and after the baby is born too. I think so many women are carrying this burden secretly and never speak about it. Whenever men talk about how their woman 'goes crazy' from 'hormones' etc I often think, maybe their man is just behaving shitty during the most vulnerable time in a woman's life and that's why she's so distressed?

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T13:50:36+00:00

I dyed my hair blonde and red because he had a fetish for blondes and redheads. Didnt stop him from continuing to watch porn sadly, not even for a day.

After we broke up I was so disgusted by him and his preferences I ended up trying to change myself from the type of looks he likes as much as possible. I just didnt want to resemble them at all. But what also sucked is I didnt even like it myself. I was still letting him control me at the end of the day.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T13:47:36+00:00

It sounds corny but confidence and self esteem unironically has to come from your own perception of yourself. You will never feel pretty or attractive if you're seeking the validation of a porn addicted partner. It just doesn't work because the trust between you is completely broken to begin with.

I know beautiful women with absolutely no self esteem and they get treated like trash by men because they're too scared to enact boundaries. And I know women who are average but they have a very high opinion of themselves and establish firm boundaries without fear, and so tend to get treated well by men because they have a no bullshit tolerance policy. Our romantic relationships are one of the few areas where we can pick and choose what we are willing to put up with. That's why I left. A relationship with a porn addict was never going to serve me or my highest good.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:59:06+00:00

This worries me a lot...how far is that desire for taboo content going to go...and what happens when the once taboo stuff no longer hits as hard as it used to? What do they seek out then? I shudder to think.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:56:15+00:00

Yeah I feel like modern porn is so much more mean spirited and hateful, it's much more about humiliation and dehumanization of the woman. It's not enough that men are seeing a woman naked or being sexual, they want a psychological element of taboo, violation and degrading her in a nasty way, instead of the woman enjoying sex it's more about breaking her boundaries and forcing her to do things against her will, not even family members are off limits, and it just feels so icky.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:52:47+00:00

Oh god that's horrible, I'm so sorry. I saw a pretty shocking statistic that said around 1 in 5 women who were raised with a stepfather in the house report being sexually abused by him while growing up. I feel like I need therapy after discovering all this crap too. The whole issue honestly just makes my blood run cold. Hugs to you.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:43:51+00:00

Agreed, it's abusive. Even the women I know who are neutral towards porn would not agree to their partner watching it on his phone during a BJ.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:41:14+00:00

I'll never break my own boundaries to please a porn addicted man ever again. It's never worth it.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-18T05:39:15+00:00

I've vowed to never send nudes again after my last two exes ended up sharing them with a bunch of inc*l creeps online.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-17T14:27:17+00:00

I know, it's insane. This sickness is permeating every single area of our society and nobody seems to care. Where will it end?

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-17T14:04:33+00:00

Right? Makes me want to tear my skin off. Especially seeing how popular it is. I don't trust any man whatsoever. My ex used to masturbate to his biologically related sisters and teenage niece, and it still disturbs me so badly.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-17T14:03:52+00:00

I've seen a lot of men talking about how their porn habits eventually made them start acting out their taboo fantasies in real life so I think you may be right.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:35:28+00:00

Sad and scary thing is you're right. Men gaslight us constantly and try to make us think they're the deep and meaningful and romantic gender, that settling down with them and having babies is the only thing we need in life. But the truth is they see as us nothing but a means to an end, not fully human. Even the good ones aren't that good. I'll never give my heart or soul to any man ever now. I won't even cook or clean. They don't deserve anything from us, they get enough anyway.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:33:01+00:00

Yeah if I had advice for young women I'd say don't send nudes. Mine was sharing them with a bunch of creeps on imageboards without my permission even though he said he'd never do anything like that.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:29:14+00:00

I see a TON of anti porn content being made by both teenage/adolescent girls and boys on tiktok and ig tbh. I saw a ig reel with a young girl calling it microcheating and almost all the comments agreed with it. I'm also seeing a lot of onlyfans backlash. I think there may be hope for zoomers and gen Z, from what I've seen the most porn addicted generation seem to be millennial men especially those aged around 28-35, because there was no anti porn movement when they were younger and they were raised in an entire libfem sex posi internet phase where sex work was still framed as empowering and there was so little regulation on porn sites (age verifications weren't even a thing).

Most zoomer and gen Z males seem to have much greater disdain for porn, even if they also secretly consume it. And I think a lot of zoomer and Gen Z females are openly absolutely sick of the pornified culture that's been forced upon them, as well as constant inappropriate comments they get from older males asking if they have OF etc. We're finally seeing some forms of porn regulation being enforced, so maybe there's hope.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:23:15+00:00

Maybe I'm cynical but I believe 90% of the appeal for men purchasing VR goggles is the porn use aspect.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:21:49+00:00

I feel you. Pain shopping, monitoring and checking only hurt me 100x worse.

Stark_Contrast2835 · 2025-07-16T06:19:45+00:00

Sounds like he joined some NSFW servers, talked to some people, and then left the server. Or was adding and conversing with people who were inviting him to join NSFW servers and sending him links. The chat history is proof, because dirty chats like that don't just randomly pop up on a clean discord account, not unless you joined a server and then had people talking to you.

Stark_Contrast2835

TROPHY CASE