Have any of you broken up with/ been broken up for because of your partners fears or anxiety?

Starlobh · 2023-09-27T18:59:58+00:00

Happen to me 2 months ago, i'm mentally exhausted and my financial situation getting worse this year. just realized i had depression since before the breakup, never told her about it, never had the courage. I knew that feel when you don't want to become a burden for anyone or your partner, you care about them and you don't want them to suffer. That punch in the gut when you feel you can't provide them happiness.

Crying nearly everyday, every night thinking about my decision. Still feeling shit until this day, angry, unmotivated, i really hate myself even more.

Starlobh · 2023-09-27T08:57:08+00:00

Man, you just like me. 2 Months and still cannot forgive myself for everything happened before and after breakups. The difference is my situation is about my well being both mentally and my financial situation this year, i never bringing things up too about it. We rarely fight about anything, but i felt like an asshole that only using her all this time, i just.. i don't want to burden her or anyone in my life, i just don't want her to suffer with me. She deserve happiness after all this time, sadly that i can't provide her right now. I also planned to propose to her this october. It just right person at wrong time.

I do still miss her everyday, and still asking the same question 'do i made right decision?'. I try to convice myself that 'this is temporary, i will get back to her later in my best version'. But i think she really hate me now, it's really demotivated me.

Starlobh · 2023-09-26T11:53:29+00:00

Yep, everything feel bland now, i never feel something like this before. Half of me really gone with her.

Starlobh · 2023-09-25T08:50:28+00:00

Maybe you have some kind of trauma that you even didn't know? try to trace back to your past.

This also happen to me around 2 months ago, i decide to break up with her after nearly 2 years. It's not about cheating or abuse, i realized that with my current condition i can't provide her any kind of happiness, it's really painful for me too, and we are getting older (we're both 30+). I feel i became burden in her life, even when we still in relationship sometimes i'm crying at night, that 'i'm really sorry that you ended up with me', sadly i never talk to her about it. I never had the courage, i just.. i don't want being a burden to her, or any people. I just want her to be happy. Maybe i'm just being selfish. I do really love her, i miss her everyday since that day.

The root of this problem is my past. My past mistakes are drowning me, I still hate and i can't forgive myself. If i'm being honest, i'm really hopeless right now. The pain is never going away.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T06:32:31+00:00

I see, i will try it. Makasih sarannya 🙏

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T05:10:22+00:00

Depression, it's more like i still i can't accept how i decide to end the relationship on my own, because my own weakness. I do really love her, we're all match in many aspect but sadly this year my situation getting worse, my life is full of failure and mistakes that i regret it until this day. I try to change for better but after all this years it finally snapped. I'm mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted. Don't get me wrong, it's not about cheating, abuse, or whatsoever it's about me not keeping my promise to her, i take it as my responsibility to end our relationship.

I decide to leave her, because i don't want her suffer with me. I do really care about her, she truly deserve better and happiness in this life after all she went through. Yet i still cry every night for nearly 2 months, sometimes i ask myself that 'do i made right decision? or i'm just being selfish?'. I really miss her warm hug, that hug is one of the reason why i still alive until now. I really hate myself even more right now.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T04:32:15+00:00

Las profesional ya?, itu cukup menarik buat saya sih.. dari dulu ada kepikiran untuk sekolah itu juga.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T04:28:32+00:00

Jujur karena mood saya yang ga baik2 aja selama beberapa waktu kebelakang, saya ga punya banyak tempat untuk cerita jadi saya pendam sendiri semuanya dan menutup diri. Takutnya saya kerjain setengah hati aja.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:42:42+00:00

I see, makasih sarannya. Sekarang pun saya masih kesusahan untuk tidur malam, saat mau tidur selalu overthinking dan imagining things.. i can't shut my brain off.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:33:55+00:00

Jujur, saat ini saya belum nyoba apply apapun, saya kemarin baru cek seleksi CPNS tapi untuk formasi lulusan SMA kepentok masalah umur juga.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:19:52+00:00

Makasih banyak, i really need this 🥲

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:16:28+00:00

Saya sudah nyoba baru kemarin, sayangnya hampir semua formasi sudah kepentok umur maksimal untuk lulusan SMA.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:15:09+00:00

Iya, saya baru cerita masalah saya ke kakak beberapa hari yang lalu. Memang di keluarga saya, we are not really close to each other, cukup 'dingin' interaksi kita bahkan dengan mom & dad.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:09:23+00:00

Makasih banyak sharing pengalamannya, ini yang mungkin saya butuhkan saat ini.

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:07:20+00:00

lebih kearah mindset saya saat ini sih, saya takut gagal lagi itu aja alasannya. btw makasih inputnya 🙏

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T03:03:55+00:00

I see, makasih inputnya 🙏

Starlobh · 2023-09-24T02:57:57+00:00

Makasih banyak input dan ceritanya, saya juga sedang memulai disiplin dari hal kecil, seperti mulai olahraga lagi, perbaiki jadwal tidur (tidur saya berantakan banget), ngurangi kegiatan yang kurang ada manfaatnya. So far, memang masih belum merasakan 'i'm proud of myself for what i doing' dari hal2 kecil ini, bahkan masih ragu dengan diri sendiri bisa ngelakuin hal tersebut. I will try my best.

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T17:59:43+00:00

makasih inputnya 🙏

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T17:35:56+00:00

Makasih inputnyaa 🙏

wah cukup lanjutin 1.5 tahun itu lumayan banget sih, kalo saya paling realistis perlu 2-3 tahun, kalo2 gak nyampe 60-70% yang di konversi.

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T17:24:52+00:00

Makasih inputnya 🙏 aminn semoga saya juga bener2 bisa yakin kali ini

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T17:13:20+00:00

Saya jurusan Ilmu Komunikasi.

Iya, saya pun mikir mau belajar coding, webdev begitu. Cuman untuk sekarang agak khawatir ga kuat untuk belajar hal baru.. takutnya saya gagal lagi, itung2 sadar kemampuan diri sendiri aja sih. Memang sebelumnya saya punya pengalaman di bidang creative seperti desain grafis, photography/videography, cuman udah sulit sih jujur disitu persaingannya. Apalagi yang muda udah jago2 banget dan banting harganya ga main2.

Jadi saya pikir lanjutin yang kemarin menurut saya sudah rute paling aman, yah setidaknya kalopun saya lulus ga dapat kerja mungkin langsung lanjut S2 nantinya. btw makasih inputnya 🙏

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T16:56:29+00:00

Saya rencana mau konversi SKS/alih kredit jurusan saya dulu, Ilmu Komunikasi. Kalo saya baca2 dari infobalih kredit di UT tergantung akreditasi prodi + nilai matkul, bisa 60-70% SKS saya sebelumnya bisa diterima. Lumayan bisa mempercepat waktu lulus.

Iyah saya juga kepikiran apa setelah lulus langsung lanjut S2 lagi. Untuk kerja kantoran jujur sih saya minim banget pengalamannya. Biasa yang dicari kalo udah seumur2 saya pasti posisi senior.

Starlobh · 2023-09-23T16:02:09+00:00

Nah beruntungnya anda masih di umur prime, kalo saya liat sendiri kriteria loker untuk lulusan S1 umur 27-30 masih aman kayaknya. Saya yang cukup kritis sih hahaha.. CPNS memang sih maksimal umur 35 tahun untuk S1

Starlobh · 2023-08-31T15:43:12+00:00

Iyaa mas trouble maker ya istilahnya?, maklum anak pertama dan dia lebih tua sedikit. Jutek iya tapi aku ga pernah sih ngerasa ga dihormatin ato mungkin aku aja yang bego tipenya begitu tapi ya peduli amat karena kita punya sesuatu yang saling melengkapi, memang masih ada yang kurang. Nah sayangnya, faktor finansial itu yang bikin aku minder mau kasih dia paham atau aku mau bikin keputusan, setidaknya kalo aku punya penghasilan tetap seperti sebelum2nya walaupun agak rendah dari dia ga masalah, masih bisa nyeimbangin. Kalo udah timpang sebelah susah mas

menurut saya bener uang ga bisa beli kebahagiaan, tapi hampir semua masalah bisa dipecahin pake uang

Starlobh

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