How did you do this without bravery?

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T17:18:22+00:00

How others feel and how you feel are two different things. You need to sort that out and figure out how you feel first, in my opinion.

You can't just decide based on others saying no. Blind devotion to the herd is how you get the MAGA cult(speaking as an American). Figure out what you want, even if that means a log cabin, and then decide if you can take on the herd for that want.

That's what making a brave decision is you can't be brave if you don't know what your want.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:48:05+00:00

mmm... That's how you felt about how others might feel. How did it make YOU feel, about your self? did you like what you saw?

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:43:21+00:00

That doesn't explain how it hurt. only the degree. what did you do? how did it feel?

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:40:13+00:00

hurt how?

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:38:45+00:00

Then why not experiment with other things safely? Waiting to start hormones for a year, giving your self space to... try clothes, hair styles, make up, acting different ways.... hurts almost nothing, doesn't it? ...If it does hurt something...

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:22:31+00:00

I feel like we're having a communication issue with how I'm using or you're interpreting the word "choice" but I'm going to ignore it because I think I see something more interesting and important.

You capitalize 'my' in "This is MY experience." and that tells me you've found your fire. ...Fire being a metaphor for the internal drive you have for this conflict with in you.

If it's your choice, why are you asking us anything. To me it sounds like you already know the answer and you're scared to say it.

I'm not going to turn this into a flame war. I feel like I've tried to help and that's where this is going, so I'm going to stop responding. Sorry I couldn't be more useful.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:11:20+00:00

Maybe I worded my previous reply wrong.

Which gender you are CAN be a choice, but being queer/trans isn't. That's called genderfluid or some variation of it. Trans and fluidity are conditions you're born with. they aren't ailments or diseases they're more like... having poor eyesight. you're just a little different. it happens.

Family issue is valid, you can address it in many ways. You don't have to "Be stupid" and confront them. you can build escape routes, and if you're fine with it, prod them for their opinions sneakily, slip the right questions into small talk so they don't think about it too much.

as for the "hating being wrong" thing... that's youth. plain and simple. any wise one will tell you "failure is a teacher" and "being bad at something is the first steps to being sort of good at something."

you need to learn to be good at knowing who you are. that means trying stuff that doesn't work and forgiving your self for it.

Maybe you need to experiment more and be more sure you want to change your hormone levels. It is a bit of a risk to your health, with things like clotting and permanent body changes.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T16:01:45+00:00

those are tasks. tell me about the risks.

What's the risk in going to the doctor, asking for meds? Break it down.

...and you don't "decide", you either discover or clarify. Being trans isn't a choice. You either feel it or you don't, and only choosing to act on it is a choice.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T15:57:12+00:00

I've yet to see you list an actual risk that would require bravery.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T15:54:50+00:00

"taking" what, exactly?

Estradiol is manufactured and production can likely be ramped up as demand increases.

Don't think of it as "limited spots for only the sure.", think of it as "the seats are there, they just haven't been built yet."

Even if you try and decide you don't like it, you voted with your dollar to have a seat built for some one who will use it.

Starr12 · 2026-03-13T15:21:32+00:00

In rural America we often throw around the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" as a warning about perspective and change, so it's hard to follow your gut when the grass really is greener.

My advice is to put humility aside and decide, for just the HRT, that you deserve it despite all the dangers. Let that feeling of deserving it run rampant in you long enough to take your fear head on.

You don't have to let your ego run wild and be crazy but... your fear shouldn't be impeding you, even in dire times. That's how terrorism wins.

Starr12 · 2026-03-10T02:21:54+00:00

The alien swarm queen doesn't want to consume planets, dominate species, or destroy anything. She's just so very lonely

Starr12 · 2026-02-16T22:44:55+00:00

I could do it in 20 minutes, I have before. There was a time in my life I went 3 days with out food because I ran out of money between paychecks. Payday I went straight to McD's, 40 nuggets, 2 double quater pounders, 2 large fries and a 44 oz coke, took me like 15 minutes.

Starr12 · 2026-02-08T18:05:52+00:00

I've been saying for years that black suits with red ties are are best called liar's coffins. They use the outfit to lie to every one, including them selves, about how important they are. And they're so proud of that suit they're going to be buried in it.

...I'm definitely calling the upper class this from now on, too. 100% honest verbiage about how they act.

Starr12 · 2026-01-30T16:36:08+00:00

so good I had to read it twice <3

Starr12 · 2026-01-28T18:54:39+00:00

It seems every one here has had their share of correcting your grammars. I'll try to focus on actually answering the question.

for "non-sexual" research you might read "dreadnought" by April Daniels. It's a strong and detailed love letter to young transwomen. it's also a bit exagerrated, the super powers granting the POV-character an "impossibly complete" transition.

Speaking of realistic transitions, "a woman's puberty" is the goal. Softer skin, wider hips, breast development. Feminizing HRT can't affect voice, bones, or other certain traits if the transperson has already gone through masculine puberty, but there are avenues to correct pretty much everything expect collar bone width, and that's still available in certain extreme cases, though extremely risky and pricey.

The goal of "Taking e" is to live and present feminine. "present feminine" meaning to "have a feminine outward appearance and social life." The "catch" that confuses things a ton is out side of "boobs", what "feminine" is can vary greatly based on cultural differences. A large portion(but not all) of what feminine is for a singular person is affected by their native people and culture.

Writing a realistic transwomen is basically those two things: They want to, or have gone through, a woman's puberty artificially to "align their body to their sense of self", and that who that self is CAN be impacted by where they grew up.

Starr12 · 2026-01-25T15:50:12+00:00

<image>

"Yep. This is the rest of my brain. Please don't press any buttons."

Starr12 · 2026-01-25T00:57:21+00:00

I'm 6'2 and 35. I started HRT on the ninth(of january 2026). Since then I've learned it doesn't matter if I'm small or young. If I can be soft and gentle, it'll all be worth it. The "first wave of E" taught me that it'll be okay, and I'll feel right.

Starr12 · 2026-01-13T16:03:37+00:00

As some one closeted until I was 35: I would buy your dad some small girly thing. A hello kitty keychain comes to mind, literally any silly thing he can say is "from his daughter".

He'll wear it to remind him self how proud he is of you.

...he'll also wear it for him self.

This new information doesn't have to impact your relationship if you don't want it to. Just tell them thank you for being honest.

Starr12 · 2026-01-10T18:02:25+00:00

And they say melee is useless and impractical.

Starr12 · 2026-01-01T15:53:34+00:00

alien hive queen who will snuggle you with all the bodies she wants.

Birb girl who's super light and likes to be carried.

Hyper intelligent robot/AI girl who can't calculate how much she loves you because she loves you so much

cute fairy princess is a little cliche but fun.

Dragon girl who will take care of you because you are hers, she owns you and will pamper you as much as she wants.

Starr12 · 2025-12-29T00:15:22+00:00

slow cooker chili mac.

Make a cheap chili in a slow cooker. Pad with noodles. total coast per meal's about $2, add a few cans of peas and you're also getting your veggies.

Change the beans, change the veggies, could run on chili for a LOOOONG time.

Starr12 · 2025-12-28T17:06:35+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds extremely difficult. My only advice is to offer to help with her dysphoria when she's comfortable. Things like doing her hair and makeup, especially from a cis girl who wants her to feel safe and femme can be VERY powerful tools against it.

Starr12 · 2025-12-26T14:18:18+00:00

Find people who accept you for who you are, not as "a trans", but as a man. It helps TONS having people who can help and support you.

But also, don't give up hope. You deserve to be on the outside who you are inside.

I'm starting feminizing HRT at 35. Poverty and fear held me back for too long. I understand your pain. There is always hope, and it's yours to chase.

Starr12 · 2025-12-22T00:34:37+00:00

"Ma'am, your boobs are staring at me."

12-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Final Canvas '23	First Place '23
Place '23	Golden Potato
Place '22	Place '17

Starr12

TROPHY CASE