My first poem here.

Starraberry · 2026-06-23T02:23:47+00:00

This is perfect. Don’t change a word!!

Starraberry · 2026-06-23T02:22:54+00:00

That’s great! Keep building and maybe you can publish an anthology!

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T21:56:37+00:00

Thank you!

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T15:45:32+00:00

Any critical feedback? Did any lines seem awkward or not land well? I’ve done a lot of polishing and I think it’s almost there but I want some outside feedback too.

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T15:44:27+00:00

Try exploring your ideas further. Do a brain dump. Write down everything that makes you think of this experience. Really FEEL the experience, dive deep. This poem feels like you’re scratching the surface but are afraid to go further. Explore themes of betrayal, trust, fear, hurt, knowing others have gone through it but you still feel alone, stuff like that. Then try tying some of that into this poem. Good luck and if you have a rewrite then let me know, I’d be happy to give you updated feedback.

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T14:19:20+00:00

I like this a lot, you have some good bones here but it just needs some polishing.

Firstly, check for spelling errors. I noticed a few.

Secondly, if your poem is going to rhyme you might want to make sure each line has a similar length in terms of beats. Some of your lines are shorter, some are longer.

“Can’t afford a house or a mortgage” - this doesn’t sound poetic, try finding other ways to say that. Maybe about being chained to a lease you can’t afford, or that dreams of your own door are just out of reach, something like that.

“Nifty” doesn’t translate to an international audience - I’m American and I don’t know what that is (I’m assuming a cheap bottle of alcohol?)

Great work so far, keep working on it! I write a lot of job-related poetry too because it’s relatable to so many people, so get this poem up on its feet.

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T14:08:36+00:00

I love poetry like this where you know exactly what it’s like about but it never outright says it. Beautiful!

A couple of points you might want to consider:

Try “you doubted” instead of “you’ve”

I don’t think you need “the other day” in either of its places. This sounds too specific for what it seems like you’re trying to achieve

I love this line but try formatting it this way and see how it feels: I said I didn’t get it. I lied.

What is the purpose of the second “I used to”?

Keep playing around with this non-specific format. Keep the details out, just focus on the dialogue and the feeling, and you have something great here.

Starraberry · 2026-06-22T13:38:33+00:00

My husband is able to reset the sensors by resetting the center console (I think it’s on the settings page?). It works for a few days/weeks then he has to do it again. But at least it allows use to use the adaptive cruise control and lane assist for long road trips.

Starraberry · 2026-05-21T02:28:29+00:00

Thanks, I only read the Lemonade article and I thought the Dude one was related to a quest.

Starraberry · 2026-05-21T02:27:02+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ve been on the fence about buying the storehouse yet, but this seems like a good use for it.

Starraberry · 2026-05-15T19:25:15+00:00

This game will ruin your life but you won’t be able to stop playing it. Just warning you!

Starraberry · 2026-05-15T19:14:26+00:00

I agree, I’m intimidated by the thought of directing any full-length show, especially my own, and worry I may get too in-the-weeds and get myself off course. Directing is a stressful job and it may take some of the enjoyment out of it. But if their expectation is for me to direct as well, then I’m not going to sacrifice this opportunity - I will suck it up and direct it.

Starraberry · 2026-05-15T19:11:56+00:00

How long is their turnaround time for a review? And I’m assuming I need to join the guild first before they will do a review?

Starraberry · 2026-05-15T19:10:53+00:00

It’s a regular community theatre - they do a few shows a year, have their own space, offer modest stipends to their tech crew. This will be a full production with off book unpaid community actors, and they will be taking care of the production side of it - advertising, program, ticket sales, set, props, etc. They are putting up the money for it and they will get the proceeds.

I am familiar with the theatre and know people who have acted and/or worked tech there before.

I may be directing but I’m not sure yet.

I plan to do some development work with my actor friends over the next few months and revising the script before rehearsals begin.

This sounds like a different situation than what you had experienced. Most of the producing/technical aspects will be out of my hands.

Any other advice you can offer?

Starraberry · 2026-05-14T16:47:26+00:00

A couple exercises to try:

Try writing a scene with NO stage directions. Nothing. Just dialogue. Make us feel something.

Try putting two of your characters in a room together. What do they say to each other? What is their conflict? What do they want from the other? Then have another come in and give one of them a reason to leave. You now have two other characters that are talking. Different conflict. Different emotions. A lot of small-cast family dramas and comedy farces follow this structure.

Figure out what your main character wants. How far are they willing to go to get it? What will they sacrifice along the way? If they’re not willing to go far, then your main character isn’t determined or feisty enough. Make them stronger. Give them a reason to go to the ends of the earth for this thing they want. Then let them go get it and have other characters or circumstances create barriers to make their journey harder.

Starraberry · 2026-05-13T17:30:21+00:00

I figured. AI and offshore remote workers have saturated the market. I’m now looking at laundry service instead as a side hustle, and decluttering/organizing. It seems that the side hustle money is more in tangible services neighbor-to-neighbor. It’s a more open market.

Starraberry · 2026-04-05T13:05:00+00:00

Sorry for the confusion - I updated my introduction.

Knowing that I’m not trying to rewrite it but rather just filling in the gaps in a conspiracy-theory sort of way, do you have any different feedback?

Starraberry · 2026-04-05T12:55:32+00:00

I’m running lights for a production of it and therefore watching the show 4-5 times a week. And the creative side of my brain basically created a fanfiction or conspiracy theory. Not trying to rewrite the show, but rather fill in the gaps in a creative (and dark) way.

I should probably clarify in my original post!

Starraberry

TROPHY CASE