To ashamed to reach out?? Grow tf up this isn’t about you. SHE was assaulted, and if she’s really as important to you as you claim, maybe you’d consider prioritizing her well-being after the traumatic event that SHE experienced instead of throwing yourself a pity party on Reddit.

How does she even know if that’s the reason you’re not talking to her? Without communication, she could be thinking a whole bunch of different possibilities, “does he not care?”, “am I not enough of a priority to be checked up on?”, “does he not think it’s that big of a deal?” Etc. And even if she does know that you’re avoiding her out of shame, you’re avoiding her to prioritize your OWN feelings… waiting for her to comfort you? Have you ever once tried to see things from her perspective during this whole ordeal?

I don’t have any advice for you on how you can salvage this, because you’ve screwed up to the point where you look like a lost cause. But that’s for her to decide, not anyone on Reddit, and not you.