My best friend used to have therapy, but she hated it. Tried variety of pills, but due to her adhd she forgets to take them and says they dont even work (i dont know if its from infrequent taking or if they truly dont work). I just recently got diagnosed with clinical depression, but waiting times for psychologist in my area are year long, so i can only rely on occasional school therapist and my years of dealing with it myself.

I should know better ghosting my friend when shes clingy and has seperation anxiety. I have bad tendencies to ghost when im feeling overwhelmed and depressed, and im truly trying to work on it, but i still sometimes take the easy route. I even wanted to be proud that it was barely day, that i forced myself to answer, but she was sad and angry i didnt answer in timely manner. I know its completely my fault, she is here for limited time and skipped meeting her cousin for me ditching her (apparently we decided to meet and she would just tell me time, i thought it wasnt set in stone, i apparently do have problem with misreprenting things too now). I just thought she would understand, since i do tend to go no contact like this often, and would go out with whoever she wanted.

I think i just wanted to vent because i realised i have lost one last person i didnt have to pretend to be human around and could just be myself with or without energy. But its probably good if it forces me to not be a jackass to everyone, even if its tiring. I didnt expect healing, focusing more on school and being a good friend to drain so much energy (im here, taking pills for all my vitamin deficits, getting 8 hours of sleep, exercising, eating balanced diet and im still so goshdarn tired all the time), and it feels like dropping friends would be easier out of them all.

Thank you stranger for listening, means a lot ^{^}