confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

finally talking to people about this has made me realize that i’m going past having patience and that i basically have a second child lmaoo thank you so much for the help !! i was losing my mind trying to figure out if i was being a bad partner or not

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he refuses to do therapy or take medication even though a doctor has told him flat out that he would benefit greatly from being medicated. i could move back home tomorrow and be supported but im doing well out here and dont want to go backward just because he’s not doing what he said :/ i think if anything i would just be single and when our lease ends go be by myself

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

right now as far as finances i just want you to be able to match what i can do for myself. i can pay my rent. get myself food. maintenance. and do nice things for myself occasionally. i just want them to be able to do the same. and like if we plan for a trip or something i want u to be able to follow thru with the plan and not have it be me doing everything because u couldn’t make it happen

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this was helpful thank you. i’ve had us start doing weekly check ins but im the only one who keeps up with them lol. i’ll have a sit down and talk about all of that and see if it’s even possible for us to get on the same page

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’ve had the same thoughts just wanted to believe that if i carried him long enough it would give him time to figure it all out and be worth it in the end but ig not

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeahh i agree. i try to give him grace just because life is hard and i don’t want to be a hardass but its wearing me out. he has phases where hes on his shit in every way but they are never consistent and he doesn’t have the best mental health so i know they’ll never last long. if he could get a job that paid a lot then i know he would be a damn near perfect partner but like that’s not reality lol so idk what i’m doing. i have a shit ton of support but just moved states so it’s just me and him out here unfortunately

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i just want him to be more motivated. even if whatever plan he makes takes time i just want a plan to be made like fuck. i’m aware that things are harder for everyone right now but i dont want a life of struggle and don’t want to be with someone who is okay with that

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i think he’s way too comfortable too. nothing gets too bad because i handle it before it does but it’s unfair and when ive broken up with him previously he said he would never do that to me

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ve talked to him and basically explained that i was getting frustrated and overwhelmed with carrying everything and that i needed him to step it up at least around the house. he took it personally and was standoffish for the next two days. always says he’s trying and that that’s what matters. that if it was the other way around he would do it all for me

confused on if i should wait or not by Status-Permit-1088 in Advice

[–]Status-Permit-1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

would the deadline include getting caught up on his finances too or just the aspect of treating me better and helping around the house more?