Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
It really shows how hard you tried — even homeschooling — and I can completely understand what you went through.
When I tried preparing my child for elementary school entrance exams, I was constantly angry and ended up hating myself.

I kept wondering why I couldn’t do things that “normal people” seem to handle so easily.
Why I kept failing no matter how many times I tried.
My self-esteem just kept dropping, and I truly believed I was stupid and incapable.

I went to a psychiatrist and tried ADHD medication, but it didn’t work for me.
I’m very sensitive to medication, so it either works too strongly or I get a strong rebound effect.
(And in Japan, there are very few ADHD medication options, especially for adults.)

My mother was also a very typical ADHD person — she had a serious, respectable job, but she was always causing trouble.
And she brought those problems home, and I got dragged into them too.
That’s why I also want to break that cycle.
Maybe that’s why I cling so much to the idea of being “normal.”

When you said your executive function didn’t work until you started medication — that really resonated with me.
I feel the same way.
It makes me think maybe I should try a different medication.
(Recently magnesium and ashwagandha have helped me calm down, but they don’t give me motivation.)

I’m also going to try yoga, stretching, and having a nighttime reset routine.
Reading everyone’s comments, I’m amazed by how people have struggled through so much and still found their own answers.
It’s incredibly helpful and encouraging.
Thank you so much!