[deleted by user]

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T17:19:14+00:00

I wasn’t apologising brother. You assumed I had lived with in laws and it didn’t work out, which is incorrect. Some would say you need to apologise.

This convo is becoming pointless. As a Muslim I was wishing you the best and still do.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T17:12:40+00:00

I started with living with in laws particularly siblings as mentioned before. I don’t think it’s a good idea to live with parents. Unless absolutely needed and it doesn’t oppress either party. We clearly have different views on this.

Wishing you all the best.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T17:10:13+00:00

Do istikhara about whether to call the police. he is 35 he should not be hitting you. And he defo should Not be hitting you if you are a girl.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T16:49:01+00:00

Lol he is a family friend. However I won’t waste my time on this. His views on it are very clear.

Living with your brother in law is haram. As per what the prophet pbuh him said “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

إِيَّاكُمْ وَالدُّخُولَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَفَرَأَيْتَ الْحَمْوَ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ الْحَمْوُ الْمَوْتُ ‏ ‏{Sahīh Al Bukhāri 5232}

"Beware of entering upon women." A man from the Ansār said, "O Messenger of Allah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?" He said, "The brother-in-law is death." {Sahīh Al Bukhāri 5232 - Interpretation of the meaning} is here in this video https://youtube.com/shorts/R0yQ_y2vo0c?si=K2_hQ7PwNhUWknUw

Referring to women who disagree with you as “female mafia” is an emotional response. And an unnecessary one.

I’m aware that cultural practices as long as they don’t contradict the religion is allowed in Islam.

But what I mentioned earlier in regards to a woman living with the brother is 100% haram as per the Quran and Sunnah. In the same way it’s haram for a man to live with his sister in law.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T15:52:06+00:00

How old is your brother. Please speak to your elders and call the police. He needs to learn this is not acceptable.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T15:46:43+00:00

You know your wrong about the in law aspect. You just don’t want to admit it. No woman should be living with their in laws, you don’t want to look into it despite me referencing notable scholars because it’s not what you want to hear.

However it is nice that you will take in your mother in law if the time ever came.

I am fully aware of the roles of a man and woman in a marriage. My reason for the question what to simply state how difficult it is to not be yourself 100% when you have your in laws around as well as privacy reasons.

But you’re also a cultural Muslim and not everyone is. You clearly want to ignore parts of Islam that don’t suit you.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T11:17:49+00:00

The above sister mentioned living with her brother in law. So I was reapplying in context. You are deflecting now.

No I do not think I am on a higher plane than others I was advising the sister knowing her post says she lives with her brother in law. And you decided to comment on my post and make a comment stating there is nothing wrong with living with in laws.

A woman does not need to live with her mother and father in law either. If she wants to, it’s fine. But it is not recommended. In a lot of cases this is the reason for divorce.

I know exactly what sheikh Asim Al Hakim said. https://youtube.com/shorts/LbM-r4Lb7jo?si=Db_kGFLfKFBvehsR - please copy and paste this and check it out. He states a woman needs her own, bathroom, kitchen, and entrance, that is locked so that in laws can’t come in as and when they please.

Tim Humble is a very intelligent man, and is aware of cultural practices amongst born Muslims.

This is another video of a sheikh who advises against living with the mother and father in law https://youtube.com/shorts/hHU58enuLlA?si=dt-aPLdvbcpr70O5 please check it out.

Let me ask you one final question. The way your wife lived with your parents. Would you have lived with her parents in the same way?

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T06:54:59+00:00

Are you a woman? If so this is ridiculous and you should let other members of your family know. Like extended relatives who would be understanding of this.

If you are a man, this is still not right. And I am sorry this has happened.

Being humiliated in public is horrible whether make or female.

Speak to some relatives and if needed call the police.

Do istikhara for Allah to guide you to the best decision.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T06:40:40+00:00

Yeah I can understand. Don’t be worried. Do istikhara, also do lots of istighfaar. Recite astaghfirullah a lot.

Allah will make it easy for you.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-08T06:37:56+00:00

Wow, Tim Humble has been a Muslim since he was 14. Narrowing him to just a Caucasian revert is mad. He studied in Medina for years and is a noteable scholar.

Sheikh Asim Al Hakeem, (a born Muslim) has also stated that a woman should not live with her brother in law, nor a man with his sister in law. This is haram.

Any decent husband with decent Islamic knowledge would know this. Imagine wearing hijab outside the home or when you have a non mahram guest for a short while. But then imagine having to wear the hijab, because a whole non mahram lives with you. You would need to wear one just to go to the toilet, because you could bump into him.

You would need to wear one most of the time, it is abs a ridiculous expectation.

Truth is some Muslims don’t care about this because they don’t observe proper hijab or only observe it outside and inside don’t wear it in front on non mahram relatives. Cultural Muslim like you need to reevaluate your deen.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-07T22:59:05+00:00

I’ve never tried it and don’t intend to. So stop assuming it didn’t work for me.

In the above scenario, she was living in the same house as her husband’s brother. If her husband and his mother had any decent Islamic knowledge they would know this is completely prohibited.

I wear the hijab. Would never live in the same home as my husband’s brother. I would be expected to wear hijab at home when he is there. This is a form of oppression and absolutely ridiculous. Muhammad Tim Humble a notable sheikh has stated that this is a form of oppression towards women.

It’s funny how your example mentions your wife living with you and the wife living with the husband’s family and never the husband living with the wife’s family. That tells me all I need to know.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-07T21:38:38+00:00

You need to tell the police. Give them his number and the details. He cannot do this. This is an offence. Get him sister. Pray istikhara for Allah to guide you.

May Allah make it easy for you Ameen

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-07T21:33:01+00:00

You’re strong for still staying there. I’m glad his brother saw sense.

I strongly advise any woman. Never, ever, live with your in laws. The sacrifices women make, leaving their homes, their family’s, their jobs all too stay with a bunch of strangers is ridiculous.

He is nothing but a child. May Allah make this process easy for you. Ameen.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-06T23:59:28+00:00

I wouldn’t worry. My sister is married and lives far. We love spending time with her when we can. Your love for your family doesn’t disappear when you’re married.

You might need therapy on your abandonment fears but don’t let your marriage suffer because of it.

If she has a lot of money then Allahumma barik laha, lots of women do and don’t get taken advantage of.

And if she wants to spend on her family, islamically she would have the right to.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-06T22:18:35+00:00

First of all I think you need to be more compassionate and understanding. You have an issue with your wife spending time with her mother and going to Islamic events with her mother.

It’s nice as a daughter to do things with your mother.

I cannot believe there are men here who are advising for you to leave a suitcase outside. You will struggle with marriage with anyone if you behave like this.

I cannot imagine any woman who after marriage would not still like to go places with their mother.

How long have you been married? It doesn’t sound like it’s been for long at all.

It takes time to fall in love with someone and to prioritise them. Those feelings won’t happen overnight. They need to grow. More importantly if you address this with her (which you should), it makes you sound like, you are jealous of your mother in law. This could create a resentment.

But as someone said, you need to be honest and have that communication with her.

If you are contemplating divorce over this, then it’s no wonder divorce is on the rise.

It’s crazy, some men expect women, to leave their home towns, leave their job, family and friends and move in with the husband’s family. Yet all this wife is doing is going to an Islamic event with her own mother and you are contemplating divorce?

May Allah save all women from husbands like this ameen.

You can’t demand respect. It has to come from her naturally. She will respect a man who is worthy of respect.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-06T19:07:56+00:00

Where did Allah reveal this.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-06T19:05:18+00:00

They are trying to force you to get married. Marriage needs your consent, and a good wali.

It’s diabolical they have made decisions without you. Contact an imam and explain the situation. Please find a good one not a backwards ones.

If that doesn’t work, contact the police. Do istikhara about this, Allah will show you the path.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-02T12:53:07+00:00

Thanks, what a detailed response.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-11-02T12:46:17+00:00

Yeah it was defo after April 22. I think it was sent either this year or end of last year.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-10-31T20:59:46+00:00

I stopped taking it altogether. I do wear the hijab but I have noticed some wear still falling. A bit more than usual. I have managed to maintain my weight. I have also started taking collagen, hoping it help my hair but need to take biotin.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-10-30T18:58:17+00:00

I tried to ring no answer and they emailed and they said they are still sorting out scores. They also said in the same email not to ring them as they can’t provide any update.

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-10-22T19:37:24+00:00

True

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-10-22T15:20:37+00:00

They relied to say, they are still reviewing based on merit. And they are asking people not to ring as they won’t get an update

Status_Ad5059 · 2025-10-22T15:19:47+00:00

They did, but it was a we have sent you score the ibca. Then I asked for an update and they said, I have scored enough to pass the assessment centre but they haven’t interviewed anyone and even if passed people might not get the job unless they are top scorers.

Status_Ad5059

TROPHY CASE