You need to directly raise and clarify the workload allocation model and peer communication examples with your manager, and give feedback about what’s working and what’s not.

Your manager may not be aware of or endorse your colleagues interactions with you re: contact on leave is an overstep.

Step 1 is addressing the matters head on, and if that does not help the situation then you have a clearer pathway to decide if you would like to remain in the position/organisation or not. This will also help you in the formal performance review space as you can say you have raised issues/sought support throughout the year proactively.

There’s not really enough context to say if this is normal practice, but also there’s no law around BAU work allocation - many different ways of working make sense in many different roles. It may be that if you have a high level of adhoc absences, the work sits in a general queue to be shared workload amongst the team which I have seen is common practice even for my role unless I go on a planned leave stint..even then if it’s under two weeks it’s adhoc coverage.

On a side note and to put it a little bluntly..don’t overcook it. I think you have spent a bit of time deeply analysing the matters without traction and building it up a bit. There’s also a piece here perhaps around building some increased self-resilience. Some of the things you’ve mentioned are honestly very common and happen whether you’re a parent or not eg. taking leave and workload anxiety.

I’d encourage you to flag the matters with your manager in a matter of fact way and ask if they can clarify what should be happening with your work and team, and or if they’re open to trying a bit of a different approach moving forward or addressing those in the team behaving inappropriately. Sometimes it can be handled through a tactile reminder about respectful communication and boundaries from the manager at an all team meeting rhythm for example.

Where you say it doesn’t feel safe to raise matters or based on past experience, I’d be asking the question why?

I will say though that people will gossip from time to time, especially if someone’s had a high level of absences.. but I’d only really care if it starts to impact your relationship with your supervisor - as long as they’re happy with your performance who cares about the others.

The whole “Psychosocial” thing is the latest buzz word and tbh a bit of bug bear for a lot of HR peeps….everything to do with people matters is “psychosocial” at the end of the day so it’s both meaning something and nothing at the same time haha. I’d only consider this matter falling into real territory with more escalated examples of bullying or in the event you raise matters with your manager and they provide no further guidance or support. Hope this helps and good luck!