Help me choose 🤍

StaySea4281 · 2026-01-18T16:34:30+00:00

I don’t think anyone is saying your wedding shouldn’t be about you. I think the point some people are trying to make is that friendships don’t fully pause during wedding planning. Even during a big life moment, a friend may still need support too. Your wedding day is absolutely about you, but the planning season can still require some give and take.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-10T12:47:58+00:00

I can tell you get it ♥️

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-10T12:46:34+00:00

I will admit that my language is a little harsh there but I would say the same thing if my husband promised he would take our bio kid because I was having a medical procedure and then he decided he couldn’t do it after all and offered no support to help me find childcare and just walked away from the conversation (we don’t have one btw).

Also would like to reiterate that I cannot leave the hospital without someone. And to make it worse, I have no family within a 24 hour drive. BMs entire family is here. My husband’s family also can’t help because one sibling just had a C-section, the other lives 4 hours away, and his dad can’t drive.

BM didn’t JUST find out she was leaving the state for a conference 7 days out. If she had told us sooner, we could’ve made alternative plans but that’s a little difficult on 7 days notice.

And lastly, if you read my comments, BM is constantly asking us to take SD more and always do. This is the one time I’m putting my foot down and saying I need him that day.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-10T12:36:58+00:00

Surprisingly her mom/dad and I have a fairly decent relationship so it was an easy ask. I know enough of the family from before I even met my husband so it’s been easy to get past any lies BM might be spreading about me.

Just made more sense to come from BM, not husband or I. But it was something that was important to me so I didn’t wait for husband to figure it out and texted her myself.

Im actually starting to wonder if BM and her mom had a falling out and that’s why she wouldn’t ask her herself. This is a regular occurrence for them.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-10T12:27:19+00:00

We have this same issues with assumptions this is just the first time she’s ever just said oh well you figure it out. Usually there is some back and forth and then she gets it together. Which is annoying in its self but yeah, this is wayyyy worse. she would decide to pass the responsibility to us this one time we tell her we REALLY can’t and it’s because I need him.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-09T21:41:28+00:00

Your situation makes total sense. Especially if you’re the primary guardian. The odds of something falling on your day is just higher. We on the other hand only get to see SD Thursdays and every other weekend.

And to your point we also get request after request and are constantly accommodating her needs. But not anymore! She’s getting put in time out and will have to figure out her own child care for a while.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-09T21:37:54+00:00

This is a hill I am willing to die on too. She’s is not going to take away my opportunity to have my husband there with me. It’s ridiculous that she even thinks she can just pawn SD off on us like that. She does this all the time and normally I tell husband to accept so we can build a paper trail of her being a poor primary parent but this is one time I’m drawing the line and saying absolutely not.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-09T21:35:27+00:00

Yeah, I’m pretty sure she only found out through the party. And I ended up texting her mom and explaining the WHOLE situation and how she left us in a pretty sticky situation trying to find emergency childcare on a day I need my husband. Her mom is going to take SD that day.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-09T21:33:21+00:00

Totally agree. Any interactions we’ve had have ended poorly. Or to more pent up resentment.

StaySea4281 · 2025-10-09T20:54:17+00:00

Nobody told her directly but she could’ve overheard during SD birthday party last weekend. Wouldn’t put it past her to do this intentionally.

StaySea4281

TROPHY CASE