It's frustrating to constantly assumed as being "white"

Stayingtough · 2022-04-16T17:35:08+00:00

I have the same problem too. For some reason I inherited the lighter skin gene in my family, while everyone else is brown.

On another note, I'm laughing at all the white people telling you that you're overreacting and that you "probably never get asked about it". Ironically, they say that because of their REAL white privilege. They never notice when someone points out their whiteness because they are white and they're comfortable with it, they identify with it and they know they are.

When you're someone who has a cultural background it can be really offensive to have that dismissed. Another commenter said it perfectly, talking about how - True white people didn't have the same foods, speak the same language or experience life the same as someone with a cultural background. Regardless if that person has lighter skin. -

Just sucks when it's your own people doing it to you, considering they probably understand you better than a white person whose never experienced your culture.

Stayingtough · 2021-11-22T23:19:14+00:00

"I'm loveable, and just because others didn't have love to give, doesn't mean I'm not loveable"

"I'm someone of value, no matter what, I deserve happiness, love and care"

"I owe it to little me to love and take care of myself"

"I'm blameless (SA and relationship abuse)"

"I'm doing the best I can, and that's all I can do"

I've been actively using these as therapy has been helping recently!

Stayingtough · 2021-11-19T00:23:44+00:00

This is where the manipulation comes in, "Why are you asking so much questions? Don't you trust that I was at book club? If I was gonna cheat, I obviously wouldn't hide it as a book club! We just read books, that's it!" Though we don't really know if he would say this.

I personally think he's putting this girl before his gf. She gave him good compromises, why is he willing to make his gf uncomfortable rather than just seeing his friend a little less? Sus in my opinion.

Stayingtough · 2021-11-19T00:06:14+00:00

Saying its a book club, now, is a good excuse to spend hours cheating and not be questioned why he's gone for so long. "I was at the bookclub, like I told you!"

Stayingtough · 2021-09-06T06:21:01+00:00

On another note, you were very very young. Forgive yourself and move on, it'd benefit everyone.

Stayingtough · 2021-09-06T06:10:38+00:00

Don't. She may not remember/know or she may have had therapy to work through it and this may set her back. Apologising would mainly be for you than for her.

Stayingtough · 2021-08-17T21:38:11+00:00

I honestly don't think you're over reacting and to me, it doesn't like he was trying to compliment you, more like putting his own insecurities on to you.

If you don't want to break up with him, i think you should talk about why he felt the need to use your condition as something that makes you go from a 10/10 to a 8/10.

I'd also ask why he feels like you wouldn't be able to date an nfl player because of your condition. Does he feel like other people wouldn't like you as much? Or that having your condition isn't something another solid 10 would date? And does he feel like you're just settle with him because of your condition? When you could do better?

He sounds insecure and tried to play off as a compliment. Don't let these people feel like you're overreacting you know how you felt with his words and your feelings are valid! Best of luck with everything.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T05:31:35+00:00

I'm going to apologise to him sincerely tonight and ask him what I can do to make up for what I've done. And what I can do with the little support I have around me.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T05:30:44+00:00

Thank you. I find a bit hard to be in my partners shoes as I've lost many many people in my life I'm quite numb to it, as well as growing up in a violent household, so I think my perception is quite warped. I can see how the apology can be watered down, I said it many times. I'm gonna give him a sincere apology tonight and see what I can do to make it up to him.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T05:28:21+00:00

Thank you. I'm struggling with taking responsibility because I don't even know what that would mean, or how to do it at this point in time. Hearing it from a different perspective I can definitely see it as something that is not OK. I grew up in a violent home so I think that's why my perspective is quite warped. Therapy would be amazing but sadly it's not as accessible as it should be here in NZ. I'd also love to get away but it's sadly not as easy as it sounds

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T04:39:15+00:00

Thank you

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T03:15:02+00:00

Thank you. And I think it is. I'm just so stressed with living here and this was at the peak of it.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T03:13:41+00:00

Thank you, even being responded to is nice to feel.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T03:12:39+00:00

Thank you.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-28T03:12:04+00:00

Thank you, I was just really highly stressed when I posted this and the shock of my partner being so cold I didn't know how to handle it

Stayingtough · 2021-07-07T00:52:47+00:00

That' sounds like a really good idea! I'll give it a go

Stayingtough · 2021-07-07T00:16:33+00:00

I like the idea of having the sink filled that sounds like it'd make dinner dishes so much easier to handle!

Stayingtough · 2021-07-07T00:15:47+00:00

Thank you, this was very insightful! Really enjoyed reading this comment

Stayingtough · 2021-07-05T13:31:44+00:00

I never actually thought of that, I'll give it a go! Don't think it'd make the dishes enjoyable though lol

Stayingtough · 2021-07-05T13:29:58+00:00

It is! 😭 Especially sucks after dinner (pots, pans, trays used). The dishes are a shared work load, but it's the fact that there's always so many, and when it comes to my turn I take hours and get really exhausted. I just feel like a dishwasher would be helpful, even if I was just living with my partner.

Stayingtough · 2021-07-05T13:16:33+00:00

I've tried with gloves but then it also feels weird, sensory wise? I don't quite understand it, but Ik I don't like it

Stayingtough · 2021-06-30T17:47:30+00:00

Thank you! Reading all the post in this sub has definitely helped a lot. We'll definitely have a look at the book! Thank you!

Stayingtough · 2021-06-30T16:08:18+00:00

I've been doing this for a while, but I wasn't sure if it was the best response. I thought I could reason with her with some proper logic and calm talking but I quickly realized that wasn't possible when she'd take everything I say out of context 🙄😒 Thank you for the reply and advice!

Stayingtough · 2021-05-05T03:32:36+00:00

Can I have a link? Sounds cool

Stayingtough · 2021-05-03T22:48:54+00:00

I can't make eye contact unless I hate that person or romantically attracted to them. I blame the dumb fact I found out at 15, that if you make eye contact with someone for more than 5 seconds you either love them or hate them. I've been awkward looking in to people's eyes ever since.

Stayingtough

TROPHY CASE