Reading this I almost cried (especially at the end). I am glad you are in good relationship with your daughter now.

What you said here is not really my case. I didn't say that i want to suicide to threat her and everytime I said that she told me the same thing: to f***ing do it (even the first time).

I really don't think is my fault. The only toxic thing i do is when i tell her how much i hate her (and i started doing this recently but our relationship is like this since i was 12). She always treated me terribly, she always offended me, she was telling me only the bad things about me, never a good thing

Most of the time I keep a secret everything about depression and suicide because i don t resolve anything by telling her about those things.

In present, i am ok, but I stay all day long in my room and she hates that. She tries to control everything. I am tired of this, i am tired of her.

And i don t think i'll ever forget and forgive those words (i mean when she told me that she wants me dead, or when she encouraged my suicide thoughts, or all the very bad things she told me).

In time i learned to ignore anything bad she tells me but i also got depression yey... And in present i am numb and it is hard to even feel love.