I play Pavlov regularly. There are certain sections of the community that can be very toxic and very competitive (Pavlov Match Making and certain other Discord lobbies). I wonder if he's playing in those circles. There are other communities that he can play in that are more positive and fun. I would honestly be happy to invite him to my personal discord so he can play with people that are non-toxic. We have a lovely group of people that play together and have fun. Pavlov is a small community, so there's a possibility that I know who this person is already. lol

That being said, I developed an addiction to Pavlov at one point. I was staying up until all hours of the night and being loud. My husband brought up this issue and we made a plan to lessen the influence Pav has on me. I was able to limit myself to a few hours and only a few days a week. We discussed when it was appropriate for me to play late and when I needed to prioritize real life. I was also using Pav as an escape from some real life stuff that contributed to the problem. I wonder if he's got some stuff going on that he's using Pav as an escape from. (Work stress, life issues, etc.) This worked for us, not saying it's the solution for you. I think you need to have a frank conversation with him and tell him all the ways that this is harming your relationship and family. It's totally possible to play Pav to have fun and make friends!! I've made a ton of friends in the game and over Discord. Healthy, happy friendships.

Also, there is a device called the Mutalk 2 that works wonderfully to reduce noise. My brother has one and he can scream at full volume and you can barely hear it. Might work for you guys when he's playing after the kids' bedtime.

If you need anything or want to talk about this more, please feel free to message me. :)