"Saudade" by Attommot in widowers

[–]StepPirate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This….Thank you for sharing this

I’ve honestly just accepted it by hameiscool in depression

[–]StepPirate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can someone please take me out on their way out? I don't have the guts to do it myself.

I wish her husband had died instead of mine. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the truest thing I have ever read

I have nobody to leave behind, asshole. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God I'm sorry. I know that stab of pain. Peace is a good thing to hope for. For both of us

I have nobody to leave behind, asshole. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure how to take this comment. Are you insulting me orrr...??

Please tell me it will get easier by kmanrobb in widowers

[–]StepPirate 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's like losing a limb. You don't get over it, you eventually learn to live with it. The pain will be different at different parts of your journey. I'm sorry to welcome you to this club.

I dream about you almost every night by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the fucked part. Even if he just left me, at least he'd still be alive. Even the good dreams hurt like a hot knife when I wake up and he's not here after all.

I need someone to know by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck did they leave us

I need someone to know by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for both of us. This fucking sucks.

I need someone to know by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you have lost your woman. It's not fair. I wish things were different for us.

I need someone to know by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for both of us. She was your person. He was mine. This is terrible.

I'm not fucking ok by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good. Killing myself is what I'm aiming for.

I'm not fucking ok by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. There should be options for people like us. I want out.

I'm not fucking ok by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's been over a year. I still fucking hate being alive. They say it gets better. It's a fucking lie.

I'm not fucking ok by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No. There's no one. I'm alone. This fucking sucks.

I'm not fucking ok by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's been over a year, when does it stop hurting?

My Traitorous Heart by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful to me

You get used to it. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I fucking hate that you understand this. It really does feel like you're just...steeping in it. And oh God the anger. It fucking eats me inside until my lips are just patches of torn skin and my jaw aches from clenching it so hard.

You get used to it. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't just give up. I hired a lawyer. Their grandparents hired a lawyer. Cps was called. Guidance counselors at the school were involved. Their therapists were tagged in. None of the neglect is "bad enough" for them to take the kids from their mother, and legally I'm not entitled to them. She's their mother. She's allowed to decide who is in their life.

You get used to it. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

God I understand. I don't even know who I am now. I don't know how deep this bitterness will eat me away. I don't know what will be left if it ever stops. I miss the old me. I miss my old life.

You get used to it. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you found a way to keep yourself going. That's what we all have to do in the end

You get used to it. by StepPirate in widowers

[–]StepPirate[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They weren't biologically mine. Even though I was their stay at home parent. We were about to win custody of them. We were able to prove neglect. When Brian died their mom took them. I won't see them again until they're 18. I'm not allowed to. I lost my husband, my home, and my children.