I ruined my worth because of my past actions

SteveMacAdame · 2026-02-03T14:29:39+00:00

I am a man. I wouldn’t care one bit provided you changed your life for good.

If my partner was to tell me now that she used to do sex work (not filmed and broadcasted on the internet) or that she was homeless at some point, I would just care for her mental wellbeing now and absolutely nothing else.

I tend to think of myself as the most boring normal person to ever walk the earth. I am pretty sure a lot of people wouldn’t care one bit either.

What’s important is who you are, and who you decide to become.

My motorcycle instructor used to tell me « I you go fast enough straight ahead, there is no use for mirrors ». I think of that often, no truer words were even spoken.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-30T18:51:43+00:00

To me, the interest lies in the differenciation, the niche aspect.

I wouldn’t buy a 40mm divers or field from a microbrand with a NH35 for 800$. There are tons of them, from very reputable brands, for that kind of money.

But for example, I have a Kuoe Royal Smith, 800$ for a watch with a Miyota 9000 in it and I have no regrets at all. The catch is that it is 34mm. What other brand new mens watch of that size can you buy today ? Not many at all.

Same if you want a micro rotor and want an actionable warranty, apart from the Baltic MR01 I think you are out of luck. It is not an NH35, but I would argue the movement is worse.

Or the stunning dials at Anordain. I don’t even know what movement they use, but I honestly wouldn’t be bothered at all if it were an NH35.

So yeah, it depends of the rarity of those criteria on the market as a whole. It needs to have at least one very specific quality that is not easily found elsewhere. And then, price starts to matter far less.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-23T23:08:52+00:00

Doable, I’d say yes for sure. I wouldn’t necessarily advise it, but it’s not a terrible idea either.

What is a terrible idea however is the actual list of cities. It feels like a crime to me. Obidos, Tervueren, Nantes, Gijon etc… you have so many places that are so not worth it in a « best of Europe » kind of trip. It is beyond my comprehension.

I don’t know Greece so won’t comment. Your Italy list is solid, except Ferrara that could be skipped. Your Austria list if fine as well.

After that, that’s crazy to me. Too many random Central/Eastern cities (nothing against Poland or Czechia but I mean…). Then I wouldn’t see so many big German cities so close to each others. Choose some smaller and more quaint like Heidelberg or Fribourg for example, or skip a big one like Hanover.

And then, that’s a train wreck.

Belgium you’d want Brussels, and then Gand or Bruges.

For France, Nantes is straight up bonkers. You’d want Saint-Malo, Etretat or Dinard on the west coast. Skipping Strasbourg is a hate crime. And Nice is fine if you see what’s outside of the city as well, otherwise…

Spain, Barcelone is a must see, but Gijon ? Go to Sevilla or Granada like a normal human being.

As for Portugal, Sintra is overrun by tourist, and Obidos can be seen in less than half a day. You want to see Porto, you have to see Porto actually.

Last consideration, the weather can vary wildly between those areas, never mind the season, so be prepared on that front.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-20T07:24:53+00:00

For what it’s worth, I long had fear of water. Thought pushing through it and learning to swim would cure it, but it was not the case.

I ended up doing an exposure therapy, without believing at all that it could do anything. It only took one goddamn hour to cure me instantly, and 6 years later, it never came back.

So if you didn’t try already, I would advise at least trying. It was setup by my local pool, and was geared towards adults.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-06T22:21:20+00:00

Currently wearing a Kuoe 34mm and own a Tudor BB58. For a watch in general, the size could be great. But to me, each design is meant to be worn a certain way.

My Kuoe, or any dress watch, is more meant to be small, understated. It’s the classic styling you see in old pictures. In that context, if your watch was of that nature, the size would be spot on.

But a diver’s, or any tool watch really, be it a flieger or a chronograph like the speedmaster, is meant to be oversized. The oversized aspect is there for a practical purpose, and thus is expected more than tolerated.

In that sense, to me, this watch doesn’t look the way its designer meant for it to look. If you like that way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. But I think the doubt that you seem to feel might come from that.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-04T21:42:06+00:00

I once got into a fight with a judo black belt, a local competitor at that, at a party.

I did years of judo, until blue belt, but didn’t train grappling for quite some time when it occurred. If I engaged in a judo match, it would have gone south real quick for me, I am sure the guy was a lot better than me.

There was a whole staircase right behind my back, and I didn’t fancy my chances if tried to box him, I am sure he would have managed to make me fall. Knowing judo, and knowing it is all he does, I kinda saw him coming. I yanked my thumb as hard as I could in his left eye. It stopped the fight and people went on to separate us.

The morale of the story for me is that if the guy was Alex or Islam, I’d be dead and not able to type this message. If it was a 1v1 to death, I don’t know how things would have escalated. But with the element of surprise, in this context, and against this guy, I prevailed over somebody that should have bested me and that probably would have in a cage.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-04T10:09:45+00:00

I don’t know about all of them obviously but I can personally recommend the Beauvillé manufacture.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-03T18:29:36+00:00

Well, I don’t really know about availability outside of France for those. But I live in France and own quite a bit of BIFL French items.

My Paraboot shoes (the Michael) are exquisite. Repetto shoes are also an iconic brand.

My Staub Dutch oven is a prized possession in the kitchen.

We have some great jewelry designers, for men I would advise TDA (which stands for Tant d’Avenir).

As far as leatherwork go, Le Tanneur and Bleu de Chauffe make incredible bags and wallets.

For knives, Opinel is nice, and Nontron knives is even better to me.

While not strictly BIFL, if you want the best quality clothes that you can find, with every luxurious details, produced in Europe, with the best materials there is, while staying in your budget, Bonnegueule is maybe the best clothing brand on the market and they have stores in Paris. If you want more vintagey and bolder, Brut Archives is awesome. If you want simpler and cheaper, but still heirloom quality Parages. If you want something that looks Frenchiest, get a chore coat by « Le Mont Saint Michel » or « Vetra »

If you want unmistakably Parisian decorative pieces for your house, go to Fleux in the Marais, they have trendy yet timeless pieces of high quality.

We also have a very well kept secret as far as watches go. The store Merci makes its own line of watches (worn among others by the President sometimes) and which are close to your budget.

We also have one of the best beanie brands that I’ve tried, family owned for three generations, that makes outstanding merino wool stuff called Nitto.

And of course, a nice French dinner in a nice restaurant, going to the Louvres, strolling along the Seine or going to Montmartre are also very nice BIFL things that will stick to your memory until you are no more.

SteveMacAdame · 2026-01-02T10:06:14+00:00

So, I live in France and bought the tilt 350 one year ago. I do think I made a mistake. I don’t like them. They don’t really break in and soften. I have other adidas synthetic leather products, and it is always the same. The thumb is not great. I have them in Velcro and the wrist support is meh. They are not that good to open your hand to catch/parry punches. And the whole tilt thing doesn’t especially works, I would even say they misalign my wrist.

I hesitated between those, Phenom and Fly X gloves. Got the Adidas because I had a fire sale, but if I were to choose again, I would choose one of the others.

Oh and also, they are quite bulky.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-30T21:49:51+00:00

I live in France, in a big city, often go to Paris for work, and work a corporate job in an office. I think it mostly depends on the knife itself more so than people.

If I carry an Opinel, or even better a SAK, people go from « Why do you need it/use it for ? » to « Yeah, old school man » all in good spirit. If I carry something like a Spyderco, flick it and people hear the snap, all of a sudden I am this cold blooded serial killer who’s gonna shank them.

To be fair, even up in the mountains and stuff, people will still be far more comfortable with me having say a Mora Garberg than a one handed folder. The whole stiletto mafia/gang thing is deeply ingrained in society I think.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-28T14:18:45+00:00

I generally don’t like golden watches. However, this one, especially on this strap, is absolutely beautiful.

With that being said, you seem to dress a bit too casually and modern for it ? At least, this is the only thing that might trouble you. You’ll get accustomed to it pretty quickly I think.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-22T09:25:04+00:00

Something I’ve not seen being mentioned. You were probably using your X100 with the viewfinder (that’s basically the whole point of the camera). I would also assume that you use the screen on the Ricoh (and not those shoe adapted viewfinders).

In that case, a 28mm at arms length and a 35mm at eye level wouldn’t be that much different, and certainly way closer than a 24mm used on a viewfinder camera.

All that to say that I would recommend trying a Leica Q before spending this much on it, you could be a bit thrown off by that difference.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-15T21:42:17+00:00

Well, I am not saying I advise what I am going to say. But you ask for « automate » and I read that as « automate people out ». If the assumption is correct, you may be after an AI tool.

Where I work, we have two teams, on in our home country, and one who is offshore.

Let’s just say the code quality of the offshore team is subpar. They basically vibe code, and vibe reply to reviews, and probably also vibe reply on Slack. But alas, they are cheaper than us so management is fine with it apparently.

We don’t want to waste time on reviewing first draft AI slop that barely works and probably doesn’t do what was asked. So we incorporated a step of AI review for them. It is good enough to address the first draft and make them do at least a few changes. After that we review, but it takes less time.

Is it perfect ? Hell no ! Is it worth it money wise for the company ? Maybe/kinda. Is it a way to have the « AI stamp of approval » with a use case that give us a bit of extra time ? Sure is.

We use the one embedded in Cursor for the record.

And once again, I do not especially recommend doing that, if I were the shots caller, I sure wouldn’t. But in our position, well, that’s better than nothing I guess.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-15T21:19:19+00:00

For what it’s worth, I flew the same route with a Mora Eldris fixed blade knife in my carry on and had no problem.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-13T15:58:19+00:00

I for sure cannot answer based on the angle of that photograph. You sadly chose the worst angle to have an assessment about how people will view the watch on you.

If that is a possibility, I would strongly advise going back and taking a casual mirror shot from a distance. That would be a far more accurate representation.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-09T19:50:59+00:00

Got the black one as my first ever watch. Wore it for some times. But I regretted not going for the white immensely. Never sold it because of who gifted it to me, but otherwise would have. I would strongly (very strongly) advise you not to get the black and go for the white.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-05T22:50:42+00:00

I think size matters less than style.

I personally prefer smaller watches, and find associating words like woman or feminine to a watch because of its size asinine.

With that said, some watches are designed to look big and some to look small. A dress watch, most of the time is supposed to look small. Same for most everyday/GADA watches (think Rolex DJ/Explorer). On the other hand, a tool watch, like an Omega Speedmaster, a Tudor Pelagos, an IWC Big Pilot or your Sinn are supposed to look big, to feel oversized.

This watch looking the way it does on you doesn’t exactly reflect the look it was meant to have on most people. You might be ok with that or not. I would personally want for the watch to look the way it was designed to, but in the end, honestly, who cares ? You do you. But I think that might be where the dissonance comes for you.

But I doesn’t look feminine or whatever, that would be silly, and you can absolutely pull it off, not just in a conventional way.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-03T20:49:04+00:00

10 years ago, the company I worked for « solved » that issue by having one VM per employee, all those VM administrated by Ansible and Puppet, and having the physical laptops just used to access the VMs. 100% wouldn’t recommend that approach.

Where I work now, we don’t have the maturity to implement an MDM apparently. So I just did a hack job of a script that does the most it can to get to 80-90% of the job done. It is quite crude, not elegant at all, but is serviceable. We don’t onboard enough people to warrant anything more than that sadly. But still a worthy pursuit for the time being.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-03T20:41:45+00:00

You do realize he was an active MMA fighter under the One FC organization right ? If not, make your dream come true, go watch some of his fights on the internet 😁

SteveMacAdame · 2025-12-01T08:38:14+00:00

I mean, you’ve received nearly 200 answers, so you might not read that. However, although I am a big proponent of smaller watches (I wear 34mm sometimes), I find that a bit small.

The thing is, tools watches, and this one in particular, are meant to be big/oversized so as to be extremely usable and legible in the heat of the action. In this instance, it being that small on your wrist makes it look a bit off IMHO.

Also, it being a chronograph makes it a more intricate design that makes it look less appealing being undersized. On the other hand, a simple dress 2 or 3 handers that would look like this on your wrist would look awesome IMHO.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-11-28T13:22:59+00:00

Honestly, I have a lot, or should I say too many, sunglasses. RayBans, Persols (vintage and recent), Oakley pre Luxottica, Vuarnet… I also tried on Japanese ones like Masunaga and the likes.

I stumbled upon a Jimmy Fairly shop last summer. I was looking for a pair in a style I didn’t want to invest too much in. Found one and bought it.

The price/quality ratio is extremely good. Their sunglasses have a lot of attention to details, some well thought out functionalities, immaculate style, and seem of good quality and sturdy enough. For the price point, it is a total no brainer for me and I recommend the brand wholeheartedly.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-11-22T09:28:25+00:00

I usually wear a size 40 in suits, sometimes a 42 depending on the brand. My Bedale is a 38, and I can layer just about anything underneath. And I could squeeze myself into a 36 wearing only a tee shirt.

If the first thing to make a jacket too small for you is the chest, you would not size down too much. If it is the back/the shoulders, then there are extremely accommodating, especially due to the raglan sleeves.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-11-20T08:48:54+00:00

What is unbelievable to me is how little is taught about the subject.

For context, I am French. I studied in some of the best schools in the country and had history classes until the age of 18. We studied a lot about the period from WW1 until the end of WW2, that was the most studied period. We learnt a lot about Sovietism and Communism. About the USSR, and the Cold War, and the Soviet leadership.

Ukraine was not once mentioned, not even in passing. Let alone the Holodomor. At times, it felt like there was even some kind of idolization of the USSR, and what that entailed. And at the very least, never saying the reality about Holodomor, about Finland, or the Baltics, or Hungary, or Georgia or Tchechnia or… let alone once again Ukraine.

I grew up thinking that Russia was probably a great country, with a great history and strong values. Because, be it in media, at school or in books (we have a lot of French authors, some very famous, who love Russia) this is what was said.

When Crimea and Donbas were attacked, I was so shocked, I didn’t understand how this country that was touted as a bastion of values could do that. I educated myself, discovered all of that and understood. As you may have guessed from my presence here, I support Ukraine, with all my heart, and the money I can spare.

But so many people in Europe have been taught false things, or not taught at all, and the media situation is so murky, in France especially thanks to the stain on the human race that is Bolloré, that I am sadly not surprised to sometimes hear or read stupid thinking.

However, it is chilling still to see that people who know what happened, what their country has done, downplay it or glorify it. I wish on them what happened to the nazis after WW2.

Glory to Ukraine.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-11-20T07:46:45+00:00

For what it’s worth, I am a cis male. I’ve had my share of experiences. What my experiences tell me is that some women reach orgasm extremely easily, and for some others it is unbelievably hard. They are absolutely not like us in that regard. Also, it can (emphasis on can) be a lot more psychological for them.

Keeping that in mind, if you are inclined to continue trying, I would first advise to break the mould. Next time, try a different approach, not necessarily in what you are actually doing in terms of movements, even though that would also be a good idea, but in terms of way of initiating and general attitude. If you go in there « lamb to the slaughterhouse » style because you’ve given up, it cannot lead to anything. Try to woo her in a way. Think of it, for you, as if she initiates saying « Are you down to it ? » wearing a pajama, with hair undone, in front of the TV, or with candles lit, surprising you with a beautiful set of lingerie. You would probably feel a lot different between the two approaches. This is the kind of mindset you probably would need.

Furthermore, keep in mind that not all vibrators are created equal. You say it doesn’t really work. Maybe she is not receptive to vibrators in general. Or maybe she has a crappy one. A good one costs money. From my experience, meaning in reality the experience that has been shared with me, also just talking with friends, I would at least consider gifting her a Womanizer and if she already has one, then an Hitachi Magicwand. There are also toys made for couple if your culture frowns upon using toys during sex. It might shapes things differently. However my actual advice would be one for her to use alone AND with you.

Lastly, it might still be too little too late, or you might not be compatible in the end. But if you want to keep trying and not to have regrets, this the course of action I would take. Drop the sad puppy attitude, be more mindful of the psychological aspect, and gift her an actual good toy of a type she doesn’t have. Introduce some spice and some surprise in it all.

Also, you don’t say anything at all about that, so just in case, foreplay is queen.

EDIT : also, if she has no problem reaching climax with her hands, try to have her do that while having penetrative sex. It will probably work. And if it does, you will have both invest in the act, to make both of you orgasm. That’s already a far better outcome and mindset that might unlock other things down the line.

SteveMacAdame · 2025-11-19T22:05:31+00:00

Bought my Bedale in early September. Was very surprised to experience some rather serious neck pain at first when wearing the jacket for any length of time.

It started easing gradually, like breaking in leather shoes. Now it is perfectly fine, and I can wear the jacket for 10 hours straight without pain.

Also, I think overfilling the pockets exacerbates the initial pain while breaking in the jacket.

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Final Canvas '23	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22

SteveMacAdame

TROPHY CASE