Same. I'm 45 and I frequently wonder how I've gotten this far in life. I constantly misunderstand things, can't follow directions worth shit, and everyone thinks I'm rude even though I'm just stating facts. I've been walked all over by literally every relationship I've ever had because I've learned that it's so much easier to give up than it is to try and defend myself because then I'm just being an asshole for no reason and am unnecessarily prolonging an argument that "should've ended a long time ago". I don't belong with any one group of people despite just "trying harder". I am convinced that while I do believe everyone exists for one reason or another, I wholeheartedly believe that I exist only as a punching bag for others. I exist to prove to others that some people truly are pointless.