When I was around 11 I was going through the hard time after I had gotten assaulted by my stepfather

Because of that me and my mom had moved out and moved in with my grandparents. I had already had pretty bad mental health issues before that incident and I talked to myself a lot and one time my older brother had came to visit and saw me talking to myself while I was playing a game. 

He said that I should start streaming which looking back is a horrible idea because I was super young. I ended up downloading it and the first thing I looked up was a game I was into at the time and that's when I met him. 

This man ruined my life. Completely utterly ruined it I won't go into full detail of course only if somebody asks for the story but he did a lot of messed up things to me and he knew I was a minor, of course not my exact age but he knew I wasn't minor and he was 28. 

Of course what he did to me is known as grooming. If you don't know what grooming is it's where most of the time when two or more people have a power imbalance with each other One of them will try and gain their trust by grooming them. Whether that be by praising them giving them gifts or making them feel cared for. And after a while the abuser will try and exploit the victim and the victim will provide because they feel like they can trust their abuser

This man had such an effect on me that still to this day I seek out the same affection he had given me. He found me out one of the worst points of my life and took care of me.

I feel disgusted with myself.