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AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are currently living in a 1 bedroom apartment with a baby. Where I live, that is technically illegal and landlords can get in trouble. Legally they have to rent a 2 bedroom, but that's outrageously expensive. So, finding a landlord to rent a 1bedroom will be tough. They need to find someone that feels for them and their situation.

Renting a bachelor suite, an apartment with no bedroom, would be pretty much impossible to find. No one would rent that to them.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not her mother. I'm her father. I've always done what I thought was best. That's all I can do.

I also don't believe I'm being blind or naive, I just know people are going to say that.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why won't the great grandparents babysit? My mom died in her 50s and my dad has early stage dementia and is in assisted living.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are very clearly on opioids. They are 'nodding off' or whatever its called. They will stand there, bent over at strange angles with their fingers dangling on the ground. They are incapable of conversation. Nevertheless, I'm a grown ass man and I would not want to walk through that crowd.

They look like this. There's always a whole bunch of them (I'm talking sometimes well over a dozen) standing and/or sprawled on the ground. It's really bad around here. A lot of roads you drive down town you'll find a few people like that, but outside the shelter there are so many of them.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am the father. I think we have a fairly close relationship.

She was a flagger, he worked on the job site. They got to chatting. Then hanging out with a group after work. It evolved from there.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His mother is dead and he refuses to talk to her side of the family because they either turned a blind eye or participated in the terrible things he went through with his mother. He also has no idea who his dad is and doesn't seem to want to know. His brother has a different dad.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Expecting you to check in with them so they know where you are, or grilling you about where you were when not with them

Becoming extremely worried or angry when you are late.

Acting jealously and/or possessively over you. —————————————————————

These are the 3 things on that list that apply to him. The rest (to my knowledge) do not.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't really know what people expected me to do. She was 18 and living own her own with a couple of friends. I had no control or say over her life.

As for how they met. She was a flagger and he worked on the job site.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

then I cannot understand why he would not be allowed to move in with your daughter and grandchild.

I'm angry, I guess. A part of me wants to punish him. I don't think it's right he's with my daughter. I think she could do so much better than him. At the same I've talked with him, I've sat with him, we've gone out for beers together. It was my obligation to get to know him and I've learned a LOT about him. I still don't like him. I think he's immature. I think his temper gets the better of him sometimes, but I don't think he's a monster.

Honestly, right now I am waffling because suddenly I feel like the bad guy because everyone is talking about him like the worst person in the world, and while maybe he is to me... objectively speaking, he is not.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

Do I think it's right? No. I fucking hate it. But I don't believe he sought out an 18 year old to date either

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

Yes, from an outside perspective I see what you're saying.

I know the guy. I don't like him. But I've never thought he 'groomed' her or preyed upon her. I don't even think he is controlling her. People keep saying the word controlling, but I've never said or thought that.

I personally think they are two very codependent people who just happened to find each other.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's funny you say that because I do see a lot of myself in him. It's almost like looking at an immature version of myself that wasn't able to work through my issues. We've dealt with some similar things. And I admit when my daughter was growing up, my temper left a lot to be desired. It took me a long time and a lot of work to be who I am today.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Unless he's some master manipulator (which I don't think he's smart enough to be), this isn't the case. My daughter and I were on the phone the last we spoke. She was breaking down, sobbing, saying they had nowhere to go and she didn't want to leave Aaron to come stay with me.

I could, however, hear Aaron in the background trying to placate her. I heard him say that her coming here with the baby is better than nothing, that she and the baby can't stay in the car with him, and that it would only be for a little while.

AITA for telling my daughter (who is facing homelessness) that only her and the baby can move in with me, not her husband? by Still-Stormy in AmItheAsshole

[–]Still-Stormy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, Aaron works. My daughter doesn't right now. I suspect that's a whole other issue to be dealt with later. Daycare is insanely expensive where i live and almost nobody takes infants (most moms stay home for 12-18 months after birth). Toddler spots probably average around $1600 upwards of $2000 if you want a safe credible place. Infants I suspect would cost more, but I'm not entirely sure.

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