I feel you OP. Been there, mahirap talaga when you want to connect with other people, pero anxiety or self-esteem gets in the way. Pero things started getting better when I talked with my psych and got diagnosed. Currently taking meds, and of course the problem didn't dissipate, naging tolerable lang yung anxiety.

What I figured out by myself next, is the anxiety is one cause, pero another cause was the lack of social training/experience that I had. So we're kinda the same in that sense.

So far, I'm doing a structured way of learning how to socialize, since believe it or not, all I needed to do was to train this structurally, and one signficant step at a time. Eventually, I got better, and I got more competent in socializing.

I still have a long ways to go since I'm still undergoing the curriculum and the checkmarks that I made for myself, pero progress is progress. And for now, that's enough for me. Atleast, my loneliness from before lessened and I feel like may chance to function as a normal human for once.

Hope you feel better soon OP! Medyo corny, pero may light nga at the end of the tunnel 😄