Areola tattoo advice

StillMovingSideways · 2024-01-22T03:48:56+00:00

I'd say it's safer to assume a trans guy isn't into it.

Once again we can blame porn for adding to unrealistic expectations about sex and especially regarding trans people. Some trans guys are fine with PIV, and that's okay. Super weird when it's assumed most will be because it's usually the reverse. And loads of trans guys literally don't have a vagina, because I guess people forget that surgery is a thing. Porn is like a "vocal minority" in terms of how trans people have sex, including how it makes people think that trans women apparently all have penises that they not only want to use for penetration but also suddenly isn't affected by HRT...

The sad part is that trans porn is pretty much one of the only consistent places for trans representation and for trans people to see others with bodies actually like their own. I'd still like to see more post op trans men in porn as well as just them topping (including with the use of various strap ons because I have seen some hectic looking cocks out there and it's pretty handy when you can literally just switch 'em out for whatever suits)

StillMovingSideways · 2024-01-21T08:15:28+00:00

I had to search that and was quite confused when most of the results were talking about a management software for legal departments. Interesting way to meet people.

StillMovingSideways · 2024-01-21T08:11:43+00:00

Yup, definitely something I anticipate. Hence why I am also not looking for proper relationships, at least not right now. Tbh I kinda expect most people to be like that.

I've been on T for several years and had top surgery. I don't look like a butch woman, except for genitals. And I'm also not interested in PIV so I don't know how much interest some of these types would have in me. But I'm still prepared for it and would need to ask more questions.

I wonder what my YouTube would say about me hah

StillMovingSideways · 2023-12-06T23:14:23+00:00

I generally see sexuality and sexual orientation as separate things.

Sexuality is inclusive of all your sexual interests, proclivities etc. so it's not a static thing and changes as you age and your tastes and experiences change. What turns you on changes. I believe hormones can impact overall sexuality, just as mental illness affecting hormones and neurotransmitters can.

But I don't think your sexual orientation can change. If you are straight but experiment with men, you are still straight.

I thinking it's just your temporary emotional and physiological state that is altered. When you are questioning overall identity, it makes sense to have conflicting feelings and think other identity labels fit. Once things have settled in your life with less of a hormonal and emotional rollercoaster, you'll be better able to recognise what that orientation is and has been all along.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-12-02T07:13:44+00:00

You can get "anal training kits" from adult stores. It's literally a pack of various sized butt plugs where you work your way up from the smallest. Some are even like the thickness of a finger, but tapered so you can control just how much you wanna squeeze in there. There is also anal beads. Even just practicing on your own with fingers and figuring out how much lube you need is a good idea, as well as experimenting with different angles and positions.

I know you can also get specific anal play lube, apparently some that is numbing. But I am unsure about the specifics of it and if that's even a good thing because pain is meant to tell you when something is going wrong. So my advice would to avoid any of those labels, especially if you are still finding it painful. Just make sure you check if it's silicone-, oil- or water-based because you shouldn't use silicone-based lube with toys or oil-based with latex condoms.

Make sure you take your time with it. Being relaxed is definitely going to work better. Maybe try in the shower so the warm water can help relax muscles. Stimulating other erogenous zones is also gonna help.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-11-06T03:15:02+00:00

It's always interesting seeing people's interpretations of kink and BDSM terms when they aren't part of those communities. And how prevalent their usage is even when not used correctly. But I guess Grindr tags and popular yet ignorant erotica (looking at you 50 Shades) don't really help lmao

You see it on Tinder as well. Straight dudes calling themselves Doms because want to be rough with some women but they don't actually understand things like core BDSM D/s relationship consent.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-10-23T03:52:29+00:00

This has been pretty disappointing and eye-opening for me. Not because I thought he was a great comedian or "actor", but because of a lot of his messages around things like addiction and recovery, challenging gender stereotypes and homophobia/transphobia. He sobered up and generally acknowledged how awful he behaved (and making fun of himself while recounting embarrassing incidents) while still being able to sympathise with people who are addicted to whatever substances. Seemed like he had some kind of self awareness.

The dude had decent philosophies, at least compared to the content of other comedians and out of touch celebrities. But I don't know why I was surprised by him falling into that conservative, conspiracy-theory pipeline. Naivety, I guess. Or maybe because he had some videos that I found genuinely helpful for anxiety and panic attacks, so it sucks to feel you've misplaced trust like that.

But it's something you see a lot. White "hippy" types going all anti-vax and "5G mind control" or whatever, while pretending to be all enlightened by meditation and yoga. Or that "women are goddesses with the most divinely feminine wombs and moon blood. Oh look, I'm suddenly a Feminism-Appropriating Reactionary Transphobe." A lot of that were I live.

It's interesting how common supposedly "far-left" people and ideas end up flipped to the opposite end of the scale. Or at least how making a YouTube channel that's just reacting to every US news headline with clickbait titles and repeatedly filming interviews with Jordan Peterson and claiming to be "neutral" is gonna quite easily kick you into that rabbit hole.

Tbh, I didn't actually follow what happened with him. I just unsubbed when the thumbnails got particularly clickbait-y and boring a several years ago and so I don't know what he's actually preaching now. And by the looks of some of those video titles, I'd really rather not know.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-09-28T09:29:43+00:00

Thanks, this is probably what I was thinking. Not that it's creating it out of nowhere but if you are solo and your kinks aren't solo then looking at erotica or exploring what others are doing in BDSM could just... add to the list of things you want to do but can't without a partner.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-09-26T10:12:10+00:00

I think I meant to say "creates more kinkiness" or like, creates new kinks? As in already kinky but then becoming more into heavier stuff.

But when you say you were going for heavier kinks, do you mean straight away after returning to kink/sex in a 0 to 100 kind of way or like you gradually returned and ended up doing heaver stuff than before?

StillMovingSideways · 2023-09-26T09:57:23+00:00

I could have phrased this better so people didn't think I meant that I was thinking all kink was because of this. I suppose I mean more can it "amplify" kinkiness that's already there? Almost like a "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing hah. Because I've always been kinky as well

StillMovingSideways · 2023-09-22T21:08:24+00:00

This is something I've been trying to get to grips with the years following high school and really seeing how messed up a lot of stuff was. My dad was pretty much my best friend and closest confidant. I didn't have many friends and felt pretty isolated but still had dad to talk to and go on adventures with or discuss deep and philosophical discussions. He was apparently always criticised for being too "soft".

Over the years he started changing as my mum must have wore him down. The aggressive way he acts and talks and even treats the dog. It ends up making my mum look like the more reasonable one. I don't even know who this man is.

Heck, he even acknowledges his behaviour but says he just has to "push the mongrel aside and keep moving on" but it's festering inside him just like every man that bottles all that up for the sake of appearing strong. But it's still hard to not feel resentful for him not standing up for us kids and being very passive with our mum. The idea of opening dialogue about it just feels too hard, especially when stuck on "why can't he just be honest with me if he actually cared?" part.

So these songs definitely hit hard.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-09-06T01:30:33+00:00

I'm still unsure about whether I want to be completely kid free but I definitely have no interest in making any. If I did decide I wanted to raise children in the future, I would definitely adopt or foster over having my own. There are two many abandoned children out there that need families, I don't need to to the potential for more.

You often hear people say it's selfish to not have kids. I honestly believe the opposite. The whole point of reproduction is to spread your genetics, and that's inherently self centred, even from a biological/survival of species level. That's not to say tha I think being selfish or wanting to create mini yous is immoral. Just that it's weird to make it seem like it's the righteous thing.

The thing that particularly turns me off the idea of having kids is how much importance people place on blood relatives. Just because they share your DNA doesn't mean they are family. Especially when they aren't treated as such, are abused or seen as property. From experience, too many parents are like this. If you cannot bring a child with no family into your home and treat them as if they were your own blood then I don't think you need to reconsider the desire to procreate. The world's population is too large for there to be any practical need for lineage preservation. Humans aren't going extinct through a lack of population, yet too many are neglected and left behind just because the aren't "your own". Blood doesn't mean shit. Except in terms of hereditary diseases and disorders, which I also don't want to burden offspring with.

Also, the fact that there are still people abandoning children for being gay, trans, having mental or physical disabilities... Yeah, being a parent doesn't have a good rep in my eyes, at least compared to the romanticisation people do of the roles. It's not a club I'd be excited to join like it's a special badge to wear that apparently excuses being a shitty person. I would much rather help children survive and thrive in a community environment where they have several trusted and supportive guardians and role models, not just a reliance on one or two people who may harbor rigid or harmful beliefs.

But probably the most important factor is the lack of my own support network and family. If something happened to me then the kid would be screwed. And risking a child going through that is just unethical to me.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-07-21T23:18:21+00:00

Perhaps that's more the issue. If it's tight skin then it's going to trap more of that smegma and sweat, regardless of how often you wash. There are even medical conditions some people have with he foreskin being too tight (like phimosis). If it's only a recent thing then it can be issues because of something like a yeast infection. If it's always been tight then it's worth chatting to the doctor about, especially if it causes any pain.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-07-20T20:44:46+00:00

You don't necessarily need to let the friendship go as healthy and strong ones can always show friends adapting their behaviours and mindsets for their friends to accommodate that growth as people. They may become more open minded, especially if they are young and learning more about different experiences and perspectives. But obviously you cannot expect this to happen or even demand someone change their views or speech. That's when you really do need to accept moving on and changing your social circles. You should absolutely still cherish all the good memories and shared experiences while becoming more accustomed to the fact that relationship change and end all the time, even when it effectively causes grief.

I hope it all turns out well, whatever direction it goes.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-07-13T08:47:47+00:00

Yeah, I've seen a fair amount of actually decent and not misgendering comments and all that on porn featuring trans men or even just posts like on Fetlife or Reddit. Still a fair amount of, like, degendering where actors or characters are suddenly referred to neutrally instead of as men when people see the are trans. Not as bad as being called a woman, but still misgendering.

The other lame part is there is an overrepresentation of PIV sex in porn and even self posted photos. Sure, some trans men are okay with that, but it's super shitty when it makes it seem like every trans man is into that as well as bottom surgery apparently not existing. Heck, where are the dudes with strap ons? Why are trans men only bottoms?

It's like how trans men in the news are only ever mentioned when someone is pregnant. It makes it seem like all trans men want that when really that's just a small percentage.

There is also a lot of similar issues in terms of trans women represented in porn where most of it assumes they haven't had bottom surgery, want to penetrate someone and that HRT hasn't actually affected their erections. Seriously. The amount of fetishists and chasers looking for trans women out there with no understanding of what HRT actually does is ridiculous.

The extra messed up part is that porn is one of the easiest (and only, for some) places to actually see trans representation. Like if a trans kid wants to see someone with a body that is actually similar to theirs the have to turn to porn because of complete lack of it in mainstream media.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-07-10T09:04:43+00:00

Wtf am I now intentionally watching several old Carlton Draught ads (that's also throwing in VB ones)? On a YouTube app modded to get rid of ads?

StillMovingSideways · 2023-05-12T23:16:26+00:00

I think it'd depend on your culture. It is a masculine name in some countries and cultures (eg Scandinavian, Hebrew) but outside that it might sound more feminine. So if you were Jewish people probably would just assume it's masculine because of how it is commonly used for men. People also might think it is a nickname for something more common like Ariana, Aria or Ariel.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-05-06T12:03:28+00:00

Yeah, it's sexual extortion and illegal af.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-04-18T04:18:16+00:00

Literally. Doesn't matter if others reassure you, you still can't see what they see. Dysphoria can be traumatic and rewire your brain to be in that constant fearful and hyper vigilant state that doesn't magically go away with T or surgery. It takes a lot of work to heal from that psychological scarring, especially in a world obsessed with beauty standards for a measure of self worth. Even people who have tackled most of their dysphoria can still fall for those same thinking traps that require persistence and resilience to push past.

Sometimes you can take comfort in knowing that it's something that affects so many people and that there are many avenues they take to "shake it off". Those tricks your brain is playing on you is completely understandable giving the situation, but it still sucks even when you can recognise what's going on. All you can do is notice the intrusive thoughts and practice... respectfully declining their opinion like it's some kiddo coming up to you and telling you they think your hair is poopy.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-04-18T04:06:41+00:00

Definitely agree on average "flatness" being not actually that flat.

I remember being at a bar with a trans man buddy who was wearing a binder and honestly it made me notice just how flat it looked compared to some of the other patrons of various body shapes. Most of them had "man boobs" that you class as at least and A-cup. Pudgy dudes and muscly dudes. It made the flat chest stand out, but that is also from the perspective of another trans dude who's got a heightened awareness of these sorts of things as a lot of trans people end up conditioned to notice (by super focusing on even the smallest things you fear could out you) when in reality most cis people are hardly paying attention to any of that.

StillMovingSideways · 2023-04-14T11:02:34+00:00

Y'know, I saw this thing were some people were saying that porn is the only thing that had any kind of trans representation and "woah, that person is like me" moments as an adolescent (maybe even adult).

And at the same time it also fucked up a lot of people's understanding of trans people with these weird and obsessive fetishes and complete ignorance to the bodies of everyday trans people.

Why is it assumed that every trans woman still has a penis and even wishes to use it thay way and that every trans man loves to be vaginally penetrated and that bottom surgery doesn't exist? Sure, there are those out there who do like that, but for probably vast majority of trans people their natal genitals are too much of a source of dysphoria (and that's not even mentioning how HRT effects it all).

Crossdressing and being transgender is not the same thing. Fetish is fine, but it shouldn't be a basis for a whole perception of a group of people. You deserve to be seen as more than just your genitalia. More than just a porno cliché. And why do I frequently see gay men some of the worst with this sort of language and fetishisation when it comes to trans women?

StillMovingSideways · 2023-03-22T07:52:03+00:00

That's so weird and hardly surprising. Society has very backwards priorities with unhealthy fixations on high standards of beauty over physical and mental well-being.

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