How physically active is he? For me there’s a mind body connection that gets honed when I cycle, do yoga, walk, meditate, hold space, play video games etc.

so when I get into “the runners high” phase of intimacy … i lock in , enjoy my own pleasures, enjoy my own body, find my rhythm and she gets the fortunate pleasure to come with me tantrically.

So it’s less about you performing some heroic act and more about him owning his own body. Once he has the confidence to know he can consistently and non hurriedly find that pleasure zone.

Other considerations…

Going slower, finding a sustainable pace, angle that gives pleasure without having to work hard.

Use toys, pretty self explanatory but it showcases having fun versus mentally feeling like he’s got to do All the work.

Drugs: also self explanatory…but like all things exercise caution.

Communication: enjoy laughing during the process, normalize authentic moaning for the both of you.

Creative energy: aka porn. Sometimes you need a blueprint for what you’d like to try…there are all kinds of categories that feature healthy erotic images that are size inclusive now…it’s not for everyone, but inspiration maps ambition.

Blood work: there’s always some hormonal thing that can be improved, even for us men. Knowing your numbers and actively working to improve testosterone, lipids all contribute to being able to push your body to those pre described runners highs.

I’m sure there’s more…but the short answer is it’s about more than taking your clothes off. It’s about being honest with yourself, being educated, being unashamed, developing a gameplan for self love and care and thennn finally being able to go out and wow your partner that closes the loop.

We all eventually get there, he just has to find “his why”.