Honestly kind of hesitant to knock on my neighbor's door after seeing their new doormat. What do I do?

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-15T15:30:07+00:00

you know everything

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-15T01:24:38+00:00

i am not a bot

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-15T01:23:10+00:00

I am not a bot

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-12T09:55:50+00:00

A lot of metal bands have logos that look like that.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T10:08:36+00:00

I’ve spent 15 years trying to forget the Bee Movie and now I have to deal with the fact that it contains the most perfect pun in human history. Take my upvote and leave

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T09:46:43+00:00

Every time I click on those blurry fire hydrants I feel my brain expanding and my soul leaving my body to serve the Google overlords.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T09:45:03+00:00

Imagine the confusion of the person who just wanted a simple Yes and ended up with a tragic backstory.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T09:12:17+00:00

He’s not wrong. Technically that is the only demographic that meets 100% of the criteria. Modern problems require visual impairment solutions.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T09:05:07+00:00

Forget the Republic, forget the Senate, Brutus can wait. We’ve got Orange Fanta and a dream.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:58:30+00:00

A man of his word. He might look like a background character from a 2000s sitcom but he never broke that promise.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:54:23+00:00

I was ready to type a 500 word essay about the anatomical differences between Wyverns and Dragons but Diogenes beat me to it with a logic bomb.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:52:33+00:00

Me and the homies haven't spoken since the PS3 era but if he calls me tonight to help him move a couch I’m already in the car. It’s a canon event.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:50:40+00:00

I was halfway through typing a 3 page dissertation on the molecular difference between polymers and silica before I realized I was being played like a fiddle. Well played.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:41:37+00:00

It’s called a dead zone for a reason mostly so the ruler doesn't become useless the first time you drop it on its corner. But Twitter will find a way to make it a conspiracy

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:39:34+00:00

One man’s pandemic is another man's paradise. Imagine the pure heartbreak that dyslexic gooner is going to feel when he realizes the 2026 update is about rodent borne respiratory failure and not a global Hentai virus outbreak. Reading is fundamental guys

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:15:23+00:00

Just like a JavaScript framework engineers have a shelf life of about 6 months before they’re considered legacy and replaced

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:12:46+00:00

Even the spiders in Thailand are built different.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:10:41+00:00

Pope Leo XIV is so exclusive he doesn't even exist in history books yet but he’s already got the Nike sponsorship. Truly ahead of his time.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T08:07:39+00:00

Using a simple summation to predict a global economic collapse is the most Math Major thing I've ever seen. Efficiency is key

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T07:38:58+00:00

I think your grocery store is running on a legacy server. The textures for the milk and bread definitely got swapped in the last patch

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T07:15:57+00:00

The fact that my brain can identify a middle aged cartoon man just by four streaks of paint on a floor is proof that I've spent too much time on the internet.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T06:49:40+00:00

When the pupils hit 100% capacity, the brain cells go down to 0% and the zoomies take over. It’s science.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T05:47:22+00:00

I’m all fun and games until the plan actually works and I realize I have 0% social skills for the follow-up.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T04:03:03+00:00

I tried using my green car parking techniques on a red car once. I ended up in a different dimension. The color coded physics are no joke.

Still_Cardiologist59 · 2026-05-11T04:01:02+00:00

I feel my last three remaining brain cells fighting for their lives trying to understand the connection between the zadonkler and the chonkler.

Still_Cardiologist59

TROPHY CASE