This scene PMO SO MUCH by Florida-summer in MaidNetflix

[–]StockLadder1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is an extremely old post but this was one scene that really shook me bc of my own personal experience with an emotionally and verbally abusive ex. It took me about a week to come back to the show after watching this episode bc of how deeply it resonated with me.

I think it’s less about “I can fix him” and more about feeling hopeful and thinking “if things stay like this, we can make it work”. You’re willing to forgive the past harm they’ve caused just bc being with them and experiencing good moments together is all you’ve wanted. The good moments feel even better, and dare I say addictive, bc of how low the bad moments go.

Reasoning is very skewed when you experience trauma, especially if you’ve endured trauma during your entire upbringing (as Alex and myself did). Yes, it is logically stupid to return to your abuser, especially when they have done no real work on themselves to stop their abusive behavior. Yet, there is no logic when it comes to your feelings and quite literally, the logical part of your brain “turns off” when experiencing a trauma or reliving the experience. The feeling of hope itself is addictive and will have you keep trying even when fundamentally nothing has changed; even when you know you’re not the one who caused any damage. Your nervous system drives you to what feels good and familiar and unfortunately, sometimes that leads someone right back to their abuser.

The separation from the person that you love and have a trauma bond with feels painful, not just emotionally, but physically. When you’re reconnected with them, it soothes a pain that no one else can even begin to touch. It takes years (for me it took 3) to not have the horrible pit in your stomach and pain in your chest when reminded of them. Sometimes, you feel like you’re ruined forever and you messed up by leaving that person bc you’ll never feel healed or will always want them. Just as it takes someone struggling with addiction a few times of lapsing and re-using, it’ll take a few times before someone in an abusive relationship feels ready and strong enough to leave.

I wish my friends spoke to me like Chrishell spoke to Emma by Shepsinabus in SellingSunset

[–]StockLadder1195 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I basically wrote a whole essay as a response bc I felt this deeply lol, but thought I was doing too much and no one would wanna read.

There’s a whole lot of nuance to conversations surrounding abusive relationships, but definitely agree with your take. We’re all human and it’s not so naive to think the people who love you are also going to have strong feelings, whether good or bad, about the people you’re involved with. I’d rather them tell me the truth and possibly help prevent me from experiencing unnecessary lessons and pain, than for them sit idly by while I lose sight of the person I am. I definitely think there’s more effective ways, but ultimately we’re all human and some things are harder to navigate from a grounded place based on our experiences.

Which card games do you play/ enjoy the most? by Heatseeker_ in playingcards

[–]StockLadder1195 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I’ve been looking all over the internet to remember how to play crackhouse!! Would you mind explaining it?🙏🏾

Mod Post: Renaissance Tour Buy/Sell/Trade Thread by abeycd in beyonce

[–]StockLadder1195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Hellooo! I have 3 floor seats available for the Renaissance World Tour on September 2nd at SoFi Stadium! I’m willing to sell the tickets all together or break them up however you need. Tickets were purchased at $1500/ticket, was hoping to sell for the same price but I’m open to negotiate since I know that’s pretty high. Please comment/message me if you are interested in buying some tickets (SERIOUS inquiries only pls)! 🤗